One of my male readers requested that I write a post on men’s style. Well that’s the clean version. What he actually wrote was ‘I want to elevate myself above the level of “sloppy douchebag”‘. Right. Well lets start with the basics then shall we? In boy language so we’re all on the same page…
* For God’s sake wear pants that fit – Sloppy pants are terrible. Do you want people to think that you wear nappies? Are you perhaps using the excess room for storage? Are you hoping to grow into them one day? No? Then burn the bastards and get some pants that hug the parts we ladies so admire. Your bums. Not the other things… Never wear pants that hug those.
* Don’t be afraid of accessories – Hats and scarves boys. Hats and scarves. Both at the same time if you’re feeling a little devilish. I find the difference between a well-dressed gent and a stylish one is usually as simple as a hat or scarf.
* Don’t be afraid of colour – If the colours of your wardrobe are black, grey, brown, green and blue it’s time to start thinking in technicolour. Think red, orange, pink (carefully) and yellow… That’s right I’m talking all the colours that hang on the wrong side of the colour wheel. Little splashes of colour in your belt or your shoes is all it needs. A funky red watch, some crazy neon yellow trainers or a thick dark pink leather cuff. Seriously you will be beating the ladies off with a stick. Actually the men too because they’ll be trying to steal your fabulous man accessories.
* Dress to your body shape – If you are 6 foot 4 and built like a pre-pubescent girl wear skinny leg jeans like a mofo. If you are a gym junkie wear long sleeve collared shirts rolled up to your elbow to show off your amazing forearms. If you are short and cuddly go for tailored shirts untucked with well-fitting pants and a hat to balance you out. It’s not rocket science just look in the mirror and figure out if what you are wearing is flattering. Take a bitchy girl shopping with you. Sisters and mothers are ideal.
* Get your clothes tailored – Don’t give me your ‘I can’t afford it’ sooky-la-la bullshit. It costs $20 to $30 to have a shirt taken in at a tailor and around half that for having pants taken up. Quit your whingeing and just do it. Is $30 (the cost of a few beers and a burger at the pub) worth it to have a shirt that fits so well that ladies will caress it as you walk by…? I thought so.
* Add your own funky twist – Dye your hair a funky colour or wear lots of rings. Maybe wear a short beaded necklace or a long string of leather wrapped around your wrist? If you could send one message to the world what would it be? Try to convey it through your clothing. You don’t speak to everyone you see so give them a visual message about who you are and what you stand for.
* Get over it – I know you love your stinky grey hoodie. And that t-shirt with the marijuana symbol on it that you wore every weekend in year 10. And your first ever $100 suit that you wore to your cousins wedding. Throw it all away. Right now. Anything faded, stretched, sans elastic, too big, too small or half devoured by moths has to go. Anything with Loony Toons, Ren and Stimpy or South Park should probably be confined to bed wear. Unless you want to get laid.
Be observant. Next time you see a guy whose style you admire try to pin point exactly what it is that you like about it. Try and figure out if the look will work for you and experiment with different things. And check out these street style sites that regularly feature classy men in their natural habitat. Here are a few looks that I love…
His braces look fantastic and they match his shoes. Uniformity on a man makes me weak at the knees. He is also a well built guy with short legs and the braces paired with straight black elongate him making him appear taller. And check out the beard and moustache combo. What an extraordinary man he is.
Hat and scarves! Hats and scarves! Okay I admit the pants are a little scary and perhaps you shouldn’t try them at home but look at how much the red scarf lifts his ensemble. He has combined accesories AND colour. This guy is a genius.
Skinny leg jeans look fabulous on skinny guys. His t-shirt and jeans fit perfectly and his accessories are awesome. Obviously this look may not be quite right for you but he is still sticking to the general rules.
This look is fabulous. Clean, well cut and lovely use of muted tones with a splash of rich mahogany. And look at him working his body shape! Oh yeah!
Now this look may be a little Edward Scissorhands for you but he is still working the rules. Well fitting pants, chunky shoes to balance his body shape, fabulously unique hair and excellent use of accessories. The slightly arrogant charm is also working wonders for him.
Great use of colour and very brave accessories. Is anybody else impressed that a guy can pull this off and not look totally homosexual? I mean he could be gay of course (not that there’s anything wrong with that) but the point is he manages to rock a rather feminine look while keeping his sexuality elusive. The saucy devil.
Simple and clean lines to work in with his body shape. The shades are all kinds of perfect. The jeans are a little saggy but I forgive him because of his delicious olive green coat.
Why not double layer two hoodies on a cold winters day? Start thinking out side the box babies! No matter what kind of jeans you wear make sure they fit well! And what a wonderful way to wear a tie. You could almost get away with this in an office job.
Love the pants and the orange vest. The tailored jacket is divine. His confidence is also incredible.
And what’s a men’s style post with out a little Depp? (Ladies this one’s for you…)
Oh Johnny. No other man can ever compete. Okay I can hear the cries of protest from you lads out there wondering what is so special about the way he dresses. I know he sometimes looks like he is wearing pajamas but all I have to say is this…
Meet Vanessa. Johnny’s partner. She’s French. Just something to think about…
Oh and if you choose to ignore my advice and dress any way you damn well like I beg you to do it well. If you are going to spite me make it REALLY SPECTACULAR. Like these fancy fellows…
I will leave you with a quote from the beautiful Diana Vreeland…
‘Never fear being vulgar, just boring’
Dedicated to Arran.