Fully Sick Style…

I am not talking about Adidas tracksuits and Kappa beanies. I’m talking about when you have had less than 5 hours sleep every night for a week, you are disgustingly premenstrual and you have a cloggy snot plugged nose and a head that has more cotton wool in it than brains. And even though you should probably stay home from work you go in anyway because the protestant work ethic that was drummed into you by your father makes you feel too guilty to chuck sickies. Even when you are sick. Yes I am talking about me today can you tell? The question is what do you wear to work? There is an appropriate outfit for every illness my ladies! Observe…

PERIOD PAIN

Here we have the perfect period pain ensemble. A floaty maxi dress to hide your bloated tummy. This also doubles as a fabulous hiding place for your hot water bottle if you sneak it into work. It’s best to stick to dark colours as we women generally feel safer in them when our monthly visitor strikes but do add a bright splash to your outfit to make it a little more cheery. Stick to flats on the first day of your period because struggling with the pain of heels will only make you cranky. Wear a little hat or beret to hide the fact that you haven’t washed your hair. Add a chunky watch so you know when to take your next dose of Naprogesic…

COLD AND FLU

Basically think layers and snuggle factor. You want to be able to strip off if you have a hot flush or to add layers if you get the chills. Wearing pink will give you a little colour in your cheeks if you’re looking a bit peaky. The maxi skirt will hide un-shaved legs as well as your daggy socks. The massive tote is full of all your Lemsip, teabags and antibiotics. Think comfort more than anything and try to wear natural fibres so your poor body can breath.

HANGOVER

Firstly, admit that you brought this upon yourself. Then tuck your smoky, greasy hair into a turban head band and for god’s sake wear the BIGGEST SUNGLASSES YOU CAN FIND!!! The secret to getting away with wearing sunglasses all day is to dress like a movie star. With well fitting jeans and some head gear no one will question your over sized bug eyed accessory. The red boots and bangle are to draw people’s attention away from your face. It sounds harsh but chances are you look like crap so make sure you have an amazing statement piece towards the lower part of your body so people focus on that and not the massive bags under your eyes or your stressed out skin.

There will be no outfit post today for obvious reasons. My irrational P.M.S fuelled brain is telling me I am a hideous swamp monster that the public should never be subjected to so that’s reason enough for me! I will return as soon I get a decent night’s sleep and have longer than 30 seconds to plan an outfit. I also have an abundance of accessories and no clothing to wear them with so shopping is high on my list of priorities! And in case you were wondering I AM wearing a maxi dress and flats today… and I also have a cardigan and pashmina ready for layering.