Have a rant Monday…

by Carly Jacobs

angry face

Oh yes. Everyone’s favourite segment is back! The theme this week…? Pushers. Here is a list of pushers that if they push me one more time I’ll push their fat heads under water until the bubbles stop…

Airport Pushers

The people that sit practically on top of the gate waiting to board, then shove you aside so they can get on the plane before you and then sit in their aisle seat and roll their eyes every time someone has to get past them. Don’t they realise that there is absolutely no benefit to this behaviour? It doesn’t matter if you’re at the front or the back of the damn line. Everyone checks in, boards and finds their seats at the same time. It’s even more irritating when people push on their way OFF the plane and huff and puff across the terminal only to stop dead in front of the baggage carousel to wait for their luggage. You. Loser.

Equipment Pushers

You know those a-holes at the gym when you have your weights all set up and you go to fill up your water bottle and you leave your towel there as a REALLY obvious marker and you come back and Happy Pants Muscle Face is stacking weights on, pretending like he didn’t see you using the equipment before? Firstly, I was here first. Secondly he is only going to lift a million kilos once, kiss his biceps and then have a wank, taking up valuable real estate while he does it. It’s the exact same type of person that uses four different pieces of equipment at once because they read in Beefcake Monthly that this ‘saves time’. Yeah. For him. Not for the twenty other membership paying people who are waiting while he plays Eye of the Tiger on his Ipod and pretends that he’s Rocky.

ATM Pushers

The people who stand just a little bit too close when you’re using the ATM. Back off. Seriously. It makes me really uncomfortable and I can’t possibly go any faster. Cash disposal is pretty much set to a clock. Deal with it.

So lovelies… what’s your rant for the day? Care to share? It’ll make you feel a million times better!

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx

11 comments

Secretsquirrel

I completely agree with the lack of air travel etiquette. I also hate when said pushers then stand 2 millimetres from the baggage carousel so you have to push through them to get your bag. Canberra’s Virgin Blue terminal is the worst in the country for this!

PS. First time post but I have been reading and loving your blog for ages! Although, as a Melburnian who has now lived in the ‘Berra for the last 5 years it does make me homesick sometimes
Kaiser

OK, don’t you love going to the supermarket to buy one thing and find the express line is 30 people long and the only other checkout open has three women with enough groceries to ride out a small nuclear event?
But wait, there’s more…
Don’t you love it when there are several *yes several* employees standing around doing chatting away doing nothing!

I actually had this experience at Bunnings recently. There were about six young employees standing around doing nothing. One was playing with an inflatable hammer. It took me 10 minutes to be seen at the checkout because there was only this one chick on a register. And I’m sure the latter had her measure in terms of personality and intelligence.

Ahhhhh….. I feel a little better now… Just.
E

Patronizing feckers who try to candy-coat their crap.

I went to the optician – who went for major back-coverage by referring me to the eye hospital DESPITE me asking was it worth getting a regular eyetest before I had my appointment with him.

In his big retail outlet.

Went further downhill as various ‘helpful’ members of staff tried to guide me into the designer spex section with my ‘ooh this should help you with eye fatigue’ prescription.

Hated every frame in the shop – if I’m advised that ‘they’re all buying this kind’ it will totally guarantee that I won’t be.

I’m going to buy me something fantastic on eBay and have them reglazed.

Ahhhhh ….
Meaghan

I hate those pushers at the playgrounds. They push their way past everyone with their bratty kids just to get to the slide/swing/whatever.
Its like they think the play equipment is going to get up and walk away and their child must have a turn on everything before it does.

Or another one is those bakeries that dont actually have lines, everyone just hovers around like flies? I hate the people who think im gonna buy 200 loaves of bread and they have to push in front of me to be served first. Arrggh!! Just crazy..!
co-dependant smaggle

I hate being beeped while driving for no valid reason e.g. when the light has JUST changed and I am literally accelerating (i am doing all i can and i can’t go any faster)- don’t beep me, or when I am giving way to a person or car infront of me (that you can’t see in the car behind me) – don’t beep me. Just keep your hand off the horn and i will be happy.

p.s. Lady, after your antics at the airport waiting to board the plane to see Mr Smaggle on Friday night – I feel the need to express that you were not so cool about not being at the front of the line … ; )
http://thislittlepiggie.tumbr.com piglet

Oh I hate pushers too!
I hate when people pretend they didn’t see the line and hover at the side so they can swoop in front.
Grr swoopers *shakes fist*
Cathryn

I have one – bus pushers. Those people, who, when the bus comes, even though there are heaps of people getting off the bus, still press forward, getting in the way of the people getting off the bus, causing even more holdup. Stupid stupid people. Or another type of bus pusher – those ones will get to the bus stop last, but for some reason push in in front of everyone else who’s patiently lining up for the bus.

Ooh, I thought of another one, similar to the first type of bus pusher – people who are waiting outside a lecture theatre, and when the lecture ends, just stream into the lecture theatre, completely disregarding the fact that other people are trying to get out. Idiots.
http://www.flyingsaucer.typepad.com selina

ah this is so true! a train broke down a few weeks ago and all passengers had to get on another, but as i was waiting patiently for the crowd to sift onto the crowd, i was like jeez no need to touch me! why are you actually pushing me forward, aren’t we civilized people?! can’t you curtiously get on a train without turning it into a scrum?! i always stand bolt straight and let them push right into me, i ain’t moving any faster!

also people who have to take a step every time the queue moves so they’re right up your back, and if you edge forward a bit to get away from them, they edge forward too! again, i always stand stilll when it’s nearly my turn, just to prove that squashing up to people doesn’t get you served any faster!
oo that was a nice release!
http://idiet.wordpress.com kathryn

I hate the pushers at the baggage carousel too. Not only do they hover over the top of the carousel (before the luggage even starts coming out), they have to have family members with them so they take up maximum space.
Lisa D

It’s funny, in China people push so badly to get on the metro and the buses. I actually once had my fingers *prised* off the rail at the door of the bus by an old woman so she could run past me up the steps to get a seat. It’s vicious! But once they get seats they think it’s hilarious. You get into the way of it.
Robbo

BUNNINGS!! JUST DON”T TRY TO GET A JOB THERE!!!!!!!!

On 16 July 2009 I visited the Bunnings Warehouse, Lake Road, Port Macquarie NSW to enquire about an advertised position of Department Manager.

The obvious place to enquire was the Service Desk where I was met with smiles and offers of help, that was until I advised the young lady that I wanted details about the advertised position.

Her response caught me completely, and what’s more the smile and helpfulness rapidly disappeared. “Why would you want that job, it is just soooooooo stressful”.

So the job is stressful is it? What a wonderful representation of the company that pays her wages. If the job is sooooo stressful then why are you still there?

By her own admission she stated that jobs at Bunnings are obviously soooooooo stressful!!! Where is her loyalty to her company? I am pleased she works for Bunnings because if she was my employee and spoke to a customer in that tone she would be dismissed instantly.

What a wonderful introduction to the world according to Bunnings.

It was an absolutely wonderful PR exercise, well done Bunnings.

I was eventually referred to another young lady who I was informed was a Department Manager. Once again I was greeted with smiles and offering all the appearances of wanting to assist. That was until I explained the reason of my visit.

Her tone changed completely also, and so began what I considered to be an interrogation that would have done the Gestapo proud.

She tried to intimidate me by describing how much was involved in the position and how I would have to fit into the Bunnings “team”. Really, I would have to fit into the team irrespective of my qualifications. It really was beginning to sound like an adult version of MacDonalds. The exception being they are taking to adults not some pimply faced 15 year old kid. (No offence intended to all pimply faced kids).

The interrogation continued by being asked if I was a local, well it was obvious that I wasn’t however I did explain that I owned a house and other real estate in the town and I intended to move to Port Macquarie in the near future.

I was then asked as to my qualifications, I advised the young lady of my qualifications and her response was simply, “Well with all your qualifications why don’t you just go back to Sydney and get a job?

Up until that point in time I always considered that every Australian had the right of freedom to live and work where ever they pleased. Apparently not, it appears now that approval has to be sought and approved by some arrogant, self opinionated check-out chick who is employed at Bunnings.

Mine is NOT an isolated case as I have found out. How do you get a job at Bunnings??? Is it jobs for the boys???

To anyone considering seeking employment at Bunnings I wish you well.

I am interested in hearing direct about other Bunnings horror stories.

robbo1945@hotmail.com

Smaggle