Comments on: Infidelity – Is it really undefinable?

By: it's.secret

it's.secret — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 13:27:43 +0000

I’m a married mother and having a very flirtatious texting affair with a celebrity. You guys are the only ones to know. And no, it’s not a cricketer either.

By: Lady Smaggle

Lady Smaggle — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 10:55:25 +0000

Wow guys thanks so much for all your feedback! It’s so interesting to hear everyone’s point of view. Obviously it’s touchy subject and I thank everyone for their input! xxx

By: Lady Smaggle

Lady Smaggle — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 10:20:34 +0000

Sarah Von – Aw thanks! We should totally meet in real life! If you ever find yourself Australia bound drop me an email. We talk about noses and shit!

By: sarah von

sarah von — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 13:33:00 +0000

Unrelated – Happy Birthday, Lady – birthday twin of my BFF! Further evidence that we need to meet in real life. That and you’re my hair idol and my very own nose twin.

By: Lola

Lola — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 01:31:59 +0000

For me, cheating is 100% about deception. If its not cool with both you and your partner then you shouldn’t be doing it. For some people, thats flirting, but for others (such as people in open relationships or people who get off on knowing their partner is having sex with someone else) you can have sex with others and its not cheating because both of you have agreed on it before hand you both know its going to happen and who its happening with and it makes both of you happy). I think people should talk about this sort of thing with their boyfriend/girlfriend to make sure that they are compatible on the what is/is not cheating with them, to make sure that no feelings are hurt. I also think you should take into account the feelings of others, if you know your best friend things flirting is cheating, don’t flirt with her boyfriend just because you and your bf are cool with it.

For me personally, I don’t consider flirting (and I mean light fun happy flirting not flirting that is going anywhere) cheating. Then again, I was recently told by a friend that I flirt with everyone (boys, girls, park benches, butterflies..), a fact that I was previously unaware of (probably because when I’m trying to flirt its with someone I’m dating and its usually super suggestive and inappropriate. When I’m dating someone I also totally point out hot chicks for them to oogle (fun word!) so maybe thats just me.

By: Lita

Lita — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:46:55 +0000

anything you’d be ashamed for your partnet to know.

By: reckless daughter

reckless daughter — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 18:08:33 +0000

yikes, sorry for my accidental bad grammar I pressed “say it” before proof reading

By: reckless daughter

reckless daughter — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 17:59:11 +0000

god, all I can say is this is a fitting post…I really don’t know what else to say other than discovering those type of emails/texts/calls many times don’t feel any less painful than actual physical cheating. It opens up a whole can of “well if they are doing this than how long before it turns into something else. Until they actually meet up with this person in the flesh? or has this already happened” and it makes you feel like your partner can’t get what they need from you – that you might be lacking something – so they have to use other outlets, so to speak. More likely it’s not about you. I’ve been on both sides of this (I prefer the less vulnerable side to be perfectly honest).

you, my dear, seem to have a healthy relationship and that’s something I myself strive for. But it’s a balance – jealously & understanding.

I understand and have come to terms with harmless flirting – it happens, I get it. By getting upset with those little things I would only assume you are creating more of a problem, aren’t you? because you are saying I can’t trust you in this situation. you shouldn’t do that, etc.

By: aprill

aprill — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 23:29:27 +0000

I think I would be more wrecked by the emotional, than the physical. Not that I could forgive the physical act, but the emotional attachment to the other person would be the most damaging.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 21:08:51 +0000

Me personally, the physical and emotional aspects of cheating are about equally important. Not that it would ever happen, but I think I would almost be better able to deal with a drunken one-night stand on my husband’s part, as opposed to a longstanding emotional infidelity. But I’m not one of the uber jealous types, I tease Matt if someone is blatantly checking him out while I’m standing right next to him (I hear ya, Smaggle, that boy is ridiculously oblivious sometimes!) but I would never get up in someone’s face about it or anything. And flirting, to me, is just being really friendly – and I’m one of those people who strikes up conversations with everyone and tries to make everyone smile and laugh, so I probably flirt constantly. It’s hard, because I don’t know how to state exactly where the line is, but I know when it’s being crossed and that’s what makes me angry/annoyed.