10 reasons why women need women.

10 reasons why women need women.

feinds

Etsy

I’ve never been overly fond of women, in general. I’m a traitor to my gender. Always have been. I’ve never liked the way women are so emotional, holding onto negativity and allowing this to steer their decisions and behaviours. The pack mentality scares the shit out of me too. Oh and the way women are so vain! I know I have a narcissistic blog of self appreciation but I reserve the right to hate women who are obsessed with themselves. I’m a simple creature. Men, are simple creatures. This is why I have always chosen to spend all my time with men. Until very recently. Allow me to explain. 

I went to an all girls high school where you were lucky to make it through the day without being publicly humiliated or backstabbed by the throngs of uniformed bitches that you were forced to spend every week day with. Even if, like me, you tried to remove yourself from the cesspool of crap you were somehow sucked in. I think this oestrogen overload is what originally fueled my distaste of women. From graduation point onwards I chose to spend my time with men and counted that most of my meaningful relationships were with males. 

At the ripe old age of 26 I’ve realised that I have some incredible women in my life. I’ve also realised that I NEED them in my life. Here is why I need them…

Women are psychic

 I’m constantly amazed by my ladies who seem to feel when I need them. Sending me an encouraging text when I’m having a hard day or showing up at my front door with wine and cheese when I’m feeling lonely. The emotional part of women that used to repel me is indeed becoming one of the qualities that I most admire in my closest lady friends. Men won’t know how you feel unless you tell them… or you start crying. 

Women say what you need to hear, not what you should be hearing. And sometimes they do the opposite.

Men are straight shooters. Women will throw a perfect curve ball right when you need it. Sometimes you need someone to agree that your life has hit rock bottom. Sometimes you need to be told that you’re being a freaking princess. Women know when to soothe and they know when to scold… and they know that both should be accompanied by a good red wine. 

Women touch

I’m a very touchy person. For around 5 minutes. Then I get awkward. Occasionally, I need to be forced into touching. Women know when you need to be held, even if you try to push them away. Women know that sometimes, no means yes. 

Women nurture

When you live away from your man and your mum there is nothing more wonderful than having a woman cook you dinner, make you tea, lend you her ugg boots and cover you with a blanket when you fall asleep on her couch. 

Women talk

And talk. And talk. I love that I can revisit the same conversation again and again and still find new things to add. Men want to discuss it once and preferably, never again. 

Women remember

Everything. The name of the guy that you kissed in a club three years ago, your birthday, your favourite chocolate. You’re lucky if men remember your last name half the time.  

Women saturate you with love

When a woman loves you , she LOVES you. The adoration that can come from one woman, aimed at another is so warm and genuine and rare. It’s all encompassing and will make you wonder why you ever thought you needed a man. 

Women are warriors

Women are fierce. Women are tribal. If one of the tribe is wounded, no mercy will be shown. I must mention my dear friend Gina at this point. When I was 19 I had a spectacular and rather nasty break up where I remained in contact with the man in question. All other friends were perfunctorily polite to said man after the break up. Not Gina. Said man approached us one day and after man and I exchanged niceties he asked Gina how she was. Her reply? ‘Fuck off!’. Perfect. 

Women are intelligent

Women see, women feel and women are thoughtful. Women will make you look at a problem from a different angle and will support the softer voice in the argument. 

Women are loyal

Women forgive. Women can make colossal mistakes. We all do it. Thankfully we have the grace to forgive… and not forget. So we can remind each other next time when one of us messes up. 

What about you lovely reader? Any qualities of your lovely ladies you would like to share? Or mention a particular woman that makes you smile?

Love Lady Smaggle

xxx

Carly is the founding editor of Smaggle which launched in 2007 back when blogging was weird. She has appeared in The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age, Cosmopolitan and Cleo magazines. Hoop earrings are totally her thing and she almost got run over by Myf Warhurst while out jogging one day.

35 Comments

  1. Scribbles 5 years ago

    Yeah, I’m not your typical “girly girl” and sometimes that means I struggle to make female friends. My true girl friends know that even though I won’t go to the bathroom with them (if I don’t need to pee), or going around hugging and air-kissing everyone I meet (only close mates, I have some personal space issues) that I love them anyway.

  2. LaLa 5 years ago

    I am so sending this to my besties… it might have even made me a little teary…

  3. Kylie 5 years ago

    Women are psychic. This post is exactly what I needed after a female ‘friend’ today made a comment that could have cost me my job. I was ready to give up on women for a few days but bang! you got me and I can’t deny that women aren’t awesome.
    I loved this post. Thanks!

  4. Theresa... 5 years ago

    I’ve always despised the group mentality of girls…. hated their catty ways, their judging glares, their TV shows, make-up, their “ohhh….my god!!!s…etc. But (this is going to sound lame), my mom allllways knows when something is wrong with me. She lives in Washington, while I live in Georgia….thousands of miles apart….and it never fails; whenever I’m having a glum day, I get a call/text from my mom asking “are you doing ok?”. And I’m the same way. With my last boyfriend, I would wake up and know when he was going to be huffy or blue…and I would cater to it (whether it required some comforting or some distance).

    One thing I miss in not having women around is that they know how to comfort you when you’re crying, while men act like you’ve just gone into great detail about menstruation. They tense up, shut down, and work on their escape strategy. By all acounts, it seems like it’s way easier to be a dude.

  5. Tara 5 years ago

    My best friends are awesome & this post reminded me of that. Thank you so much Lady Smaggle for your infinite awesomness.

  6. Showa59 5 years ago

    I just want to say I LOVE this post :-)

  7. Na 5 years ago

    Well you always make me smile. I think we’re very lucky in that the group of friends that we share happen to be a group of incredibly mature, intelligent, and caring women who by and large don’t behave like douches to each other (or, for that matter, to anyone else). Which is nice, I think!

  8. roberts 5 years ago

    i am so happy i’ve read this.

    too bad i’ll forget it in five minutes. Damn Y chromosome

    thank you Lady…um… no, it’s gone again.

  9. Fifi 5 years ago

    I am reminded of telling two good male friends about a huge scary life drama. They went kind of wide eyed and panicky (‘oh, God, I think she might be going to cry’) and tentatively asked ‘oh… are you okay…?’ (clearly ‘no’) then stood there shuffling awkwardly. Two minutes later, a girlfriend showed up and when I told her she – naturally – said ‘oh, honey. I’m so sorry’ and gave me a big hug. The look on the boys’ faces of ‘ohhhhh – THAT’S what we were supposed to do!’ was enough to make me laugh in the middle of a massive crisis… Also, women don’t try to fix things. When you tell them you’re upset about something their response is usually ‘that sucks! how horrid for you!’ rather than ‘well, if you just approached it from this angle and did the following really obvious things to fix it, maybe you wouldn’t be upset anymore’ or ‘grunt. let me go and get my big whacking stick and beat this problem into submission for you.’ Having said that, I think it’s the ways that we’re different from each other that make both women and men awesome. Cos if everyone was psychic, nurturing, communicative, touchy etc all the time I for one would probably end up punching my friends a lot.

  10. dr stumpy 5 years ago

    Excellent post. Couldn’t agree more. It’s making me get all teary

    I also choose to take this as support my own personal theories on single sex education (that it is, on the whole, not a healthy way to make teenagers spend their formative years)

    • dr stumpy 3 years ago

      will the reall dr stumpy please stand up ….

      cause it ain’t you

  11. Nadist 5 years ago

    This is a GREAT post. Applause!

  12. piglet 5 years ago

    Aww this is so sweet!
    Women always appreciate all the little details that went into your outfit!

  13. niki 5 years ago

    When I was at uni I had a shit boyfriend. I was watching a DVD with one of my best (male) friends and one of his housemates. My boyfriend called me and yelled abuse at me for something. I started whimpering as I was on the phone, tears falling, and the two guys bolted out of the room! I got off the phone and really wanted someone to console me but until I pulled myself together they weren’t comfortable coming back inside.

    Boys aren’t socialised from a young age to dealing with the emotions of others; my memories of girls being upset is teachers encouraging other girls to put their arm around them. If a boy is crying the teachers encouraged other boys and girls to leave them alone.

    Oh and the only reason I ever made friends with girls at high school was because I had no other option – all-girls school as well. Girls are so bitchy!

  14. Josephine 5 years ago

    I’m also a late bloomer in the appreciation of girl friends, now I have surrounded myself with them. Such a good list lady smaggle, I love that girls can simply appreciate something “pretty”, not for any particular reason, just cause it is ;)

  15. Lilly 5 years ago

    This is interesting for me to read as I’ve always been one of those girls who favors other women to men. I love men, but I generally have a hard time connecting with them unless I’m romantically involved.
    But these are the reasons I love my friends so fiercely!
    My very best friend is more like my soulmate and we can always read the other’s mind. I’ve been going through a bit of a heavily tangled romance right now and everytime I think I’ve decided what to do about it she’ll kindly voice her opinion and I know deep down that’s how I really feel.
    We watch movies together and laugh at the same things and she always knows how to make me smile when I’m feeling blue.
    I can only hope I make her as happy as she makes me because I know we’ll always have the other!
    Thank you for such a sweet post Lady Smaggle! :)

  16. twocoathangers 5 years ago

    lol this post is fantastic!! I feel like this belongs perfectly in the pages of Aus Vogue. Thanks for making me think about how much my girlfriends mean to me:)

    GO GINA!!!!!

  17. selina 5 years ago

    it’s one of my pet hates when girls say they don’t like girls! especially when they inhabit all the characteristics that they hate. i find it’s often because they are intimidated by girls or feel they have to act a certain way, but with boys they don’t so they feel more comfortable. so maybe the girls aren’t to blame, maybe it’s your own feelings! it’s not the girls that are bitchy, but maybe they feel bitchy towards the girls! that or the girls can just be slutty who love male attention haha! i know those girls have a strong female behind them usuallyand i’d much rather have a gaggle of sensitive girls than guys, i like a gossip and loyalty! love all the things you said!

  18. Lady Smaggle 5 years ago

    Scribbles – I was totally like that too. It takes quite a lot for me to let ladies in.

    Lala – Oh yay! xxx

    Kylie – Oh good! We women aren’t all bad!

    Theresa – Mamma Smaggle is EXACTLY the same. That section of the post was written for her !

    Tara – Awwww shucks !

    ShowA59 – Welcome back! xxx

    Na – Well it was written about you guys wasn’t it? xxx

    Roberts – Do you want me to cry? So you can get all awkward like you usually do?

    Fifi – Oh god. Me too. Sometimes you just need some tough love. And that’s what Roberts is for.

    Dr Stumpy – We’ve had that argument! x

    Nadist – xxx

    Piglet – Totally! I forgot that one!

    Niki – Same boat babe. Same boat. The whole made friends in high school because I had to thing.

    Josephine – Oh that’s a good one too!

    Lily – My pleasure!

    twocoathangers – Whoa. Compliment and a half! Yes. Gina is awesome. Feisty little one.

    Selina – I love a gossip too! But a safe non-reputation harming one. I went to all girls school so I have a lot of reason to have had a love/hate relationship with women! xx

  19. Miss Yolie 5 years ago

    I can totally relate to the all girls high school oestrogen overload! I’m only JUST learning how to be friends with women again….and I’m loving it.

  20. AnalieseMarie 5 years ago

    Weird…this is so similar to something Danielle LaPorte recently posted: http://whitehottruth.com/white-hot/in-praise-of-women-few-enemies-mostly-witnesses/

    You all must be on the same wavelength!

  21. Lady Smaggle 5 years ago

    Thanks for the links darlins!

    Analiese Marie – Bizarre! I read her blog! I totally missed this one though… thanks for the heads up.

  22. i get a long with women i get along with old ladies, but i dont get along with “little girls.” i just dont understand them, i dont have anything in common with them, and i never did even when i was their age. i got a long with my friends’ moms better! it’s a shame that it’s become so acceptable for girls to go around behaving like a bunch of idiots.

  23. Clayton 5 years ago

    Women forgive?

    aaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

  24. Lady Smaggle 5 years ago

    PretaPorter – I can’t stand teenaged girls. I just think that should all be rounded up and put on an island until the are 20.

    Clatyon – Sorry you had a bad experience with women… but you’re a dude right? This post is about women needing women. A woman will never forgive a man. That’s common knowledge.

  25. Frankop 3 years ago

    there seems to be a lot more lesbians out there than straight women. no wonder why it is hard for us straight men trying to meet straight women today.

  26. Mukhtar Mukuddem 3 years ago

    You made me laugh out loud at the Women are Warriors point :-) I simply had to call a friend who so exactly fits that description…

  27. Michelle 3 years ago

    You write awesome posts! I love my girl friends because the majority of the time I’m around boys, as much as I love painting my sons finger nails when he asks, I still need my girly nail painting nights, along with the awesome talks!

  28. ABSOLUTELYRIGHT 2 years ago

    low life loser women are everywhere these days, LESBIAN FREAKS.

  29. RightOn 1 year ago

    women are more into women nowadays, and i really mean more into each other.

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