A Cat of Impossible Colour (who reads my blog FYI. Solid.) left me a comment saying that she completely agrees with my Protestant work ethic ethos of ‘The harder I work, the luckier I get’. She says that she gets sick of people saying how ‘lucky’ she is to have published a book. Yep. Luck had everything to with it. Firstly she plied a leprechaun with Lucky Charms so he was all hyped up on sugar and joined her mission to gather unicorn pee, blow up ladders and feed poisoned mice to black cats.
The green eyed monster comes to visit us all once in a while. My current obsession is with Mia Wasikowska who was plucked straight from the Canberra theatre stages and delivered into the loving arms of Tim Burton. I want to bury myself in a big black pit of jealous screaming ‘SHE’S SO LUCK-EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!’… But calm down just a minute there Miss Smaggle. She’s not lucky, she’s ambitious. Aside from sacrificing life, time, sanity, food and her childhood years that should have been spent pashing Stussy-jeans wearing pre-pubescent boys at the bus interchange she obviously did something to get noticed. Tim Burton doesn’t generally wander around going ‘Hmmm… I wonder what the Canberra Philharmonic Society have on at the moment.’ She worked. And it worked.
When was the last time you ran into a friend who was half the size she was then when you last saw her? Did you gush and say she looked great? But secretly wanted to liquify donuts and feed them to her intravenously as she slept? Why? We all know weight loss is hard and there’s no easy way to do it. So why after spending months on the couch drinking wine and eating refined cellulite do we sneer ‘lucky bitch’ at our newly size ten friends who have been counting calories like Oprah counts money and – Shock! Horror! Actually have a banging bod to show for their hard work? Why?
What about that friend from high school that has been interning pro-bono at a fashion magazine while struggling to make ends meet at her part- time job only to be rewarded with an assistant editors position? It was all peachy keen and BFF when she was ‘chasing her foolish dream’ but now that it’s been realised suddenly we put our jealous hats on. Why?
Or that friend who just bought her first house? The one that you stopped inviting out because she could ‘never afford it’? Why are you jealous with your 15o plus pairs of shoes and Chloe handbag?
It’s not that you’re bitter that they’ve achieved amazing things. It’s because you’re annoyed at yourself that you haven’t. Ouch. That hurt a little didn’t it?
No one will know you are writer unless you write something and show them. You will never buy a house unless you stop getting mani-pedis every week. You will never lose weight while you have a Mars Bar in your hand. And you will never be handed a gallery exibition unless you draw something and wave it around in front people.
It’s time to be honest with yourself. What do you want? Write it down. Figure out how to get it. You don’t reach your goals by accident.
In fact… tell me! What do you want? And what are you going to do today to achieve it?
I’ll start… I want to start my jewellery line. And today I’m going to go to the library, sketch, do research and find my design voice. Then I’m going to draw up a business plan.
And you…?
See you back here in three months to report. Let’s make everyone jealous of us!
Love Lady Smaggle
xxx
41 Comments
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unicorn pee. love it.
also has something to do with delayed returns, or however you phrase the ‘sometimes you work really hard and have to wait for the returns to show up later’ thing. mars bar, copious numbers of shoes, ‘refined cellulite’ (love that too), lots of things seem to me to be more like treats, short term enjoyment. me: i’m discovering shopping without buying. go into the store, try stuff on, get the buzz, and leave the stuff behind. doesn’t work all the time, but mostly…
today i’m going to try less distractions, more marking and then getting onto this talk i have to give for a job interview.
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Great plan! Being jealous is just a waste of time that could be spent better.
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You’re so right. I turned my back on the green eyed monster a while ago. The reason I haven’t had a book published is because I haven’t worked hard enough on it, because I have been working on other projects.
Now I have the opportunity to put the efforts into the book AND I WILL!!!!! π
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Here Here Lady Smaggle.
I applaud you for not mincing your words and giving some that need it a jolly good ‘slap in the face’. I find that in particular us ladies are hardest on each other, instead of supporting, encouraging and loving each other we seem determined to claw each other back down, and ourselves too at times.
We cannot have it all, so we need to be realistic, figure out what will nourish our souls the most, and chase those dreams, and if we can help others along the way to do the same, then we should embrace the opportunity to do so.
Nothing in life worth having, is ever handed to us on a platter, and the victory is much sweeter when you have worked damn hard to achieve it.
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I want to be making enough money from performing that I don’t HAVE to teach to pay the bills.
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You are my new Guru Lady Smaggle π
Well said.
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This is the kick in the pants that some of us need. I love it that you’re honest enough to say it. Love everything about your blog, in fact. π
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I am also trying to not be a jealous old cow bag about successful friends – I don’t know exactly what I want which is a big part of the problem – there’s a few things I love but the sort I need to have had 6 years already hard grafting it to do and to be quite frank – I’d be happy to do this now if I was financially supported to do so but I don’t have that luxury & 12 grand a year for a more exciting/creative job is not going to work living in central London I tell you! I need to devote evenings to making things again – that used to always make me happy even if no one ever saw the results of my inventiveness.
I’m in a full-time boring office job that just about covers living expenses and a pair of shoes once every 3 months if I’m good. I’m losing the will to live with a Fine Art Degree 4 years behind me & a job I loved at an Art Agency that I was made redundant from due to the stupid credit crunch I just want to be CREATIVE so I’ve been sneakily using photoshop during work and improving my skills in the hope that soon I’ll be so good I can get work elsewhere & enjoy it !
Thursday is most definitely rant day & I haven’t really done very well at not ranting about those who are doing better off than me – but when a mate from school becomes the no.1 best dressed in vogue I couldn’t help but feel a bit of Miss Green Eye Monster and elements of “that could be me if I was a celebrity sex pot hottie!!” I said well done ofcourse & i truly did mean it . . but I’m a woman & only human . . .
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Stay away from good will vampires and don’t infected by the bile and become one yourself. Honestly – get one person in a group who has this skill and within minutes everyone will be winging and biaching like demented harpies … I started with the shut-up or put-up towards the end of last year after a horrible 12 months of doom. I can recommend a visit to Chris Guillebeau.com – lots of useful and free stuff – I bought his Art and Money resource. Whilst a lot of it is common sense there are some great things to get you started, make you think and so on – I’m going to be that ‘lucky sod’ who makes a living from her art – oh yes.
Go, go, go Lady Smaggle Commenters!!
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oops – missed a ‘get’ in that first line … enthusiasm got the better of my typing skills lol
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I want to become a better person in supporting the dreams and ambitions of the people I love. Hopefully that good karma will turn itself around and come back to me when I decide to face my next new challenge.
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Damn. You found out about my leprechaun (Seamus).
I am going to print this and stand on street corners handing it out, like those people with weird religious pamphlets. Brilliant! Thank you.
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So well put! I’ve actually been working really hard for the last year or so to not be jealous of my friends. Because there’s no point. And jealousy is never pretty!
I’m going to loose the 30 pounds I gained from sitting on my tookus all day in a soul-sucking office job. I’m going to look into ways to break free of said soul-sucking job inot something happier and more creative.
Boom. I said it out loud. Better get on it. -
i want to do my artwork full time – print cards, carve blocks, glue & bind books, have gallery shows, sell stuff at craft shows, do custom orders, open an etsy shop, go on business trips, get my products into more stores – and actually still be able to buy food, pay bills & eat on a regular basis.
and i’m working on my etsy shop right now.
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I want to lose weight. Today I am going to have 2 serves of fruit and 5 serves of vegetables and only drink water (and a reasonable amount of coffee – i have a 14 month old for crying out loud!).
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Thankyou Lady Smaggle. You could not be more right. I’m a firm believer in taking responisibilty for your actions and working towards the things that you want. It’s not about beating yourself up because you have been disorganized/lazy/greedy/decadent, it’s about saying to yourself “O.K, there is something that I would really like to have, and there are loads of things I can do to achieve that” and then making a plan and sticking to it. It’s O.K to fall off the wagon every now and again, but we need to be a little strict with ourselves sometimes without being harsh.
I have been moaning for the last year about how I’m getting nowhere with my blog, and how nobody is reading or commenting. Then I realised that I was being pretty half-assed about it, I wasn’t writing anything worth reading, or bothering to take pictures, and I never told anybody about my site. I just magically expected it to become wildly popular and that everyone would want to read some crap that I’d banged out in ten minutes. I’ve started putting aside a good chunk of time for writing each day, taking daily outfit photos, telling people about my site and listening to feedback, and it’s slowly working.
Thanks Smaggle, you’re a genuis.
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I made a plan.
I isolate myself, and as a result have no life outside of the internet. I’ve decided, with conviction, to walk my dog everyday and talk to people while I’m out. After I get comfortable seeing the sun again I will volunteer. Build skills and connections and SHOW people I want to work. I have more luck getting work through people then filling out applications. Eventually, I might have friends. Let’s not get to far ahead of ourselves though.
Great post, it hit home. I’m always so jealous of others and telling myself that I will never be happy. Thank you!
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yyeaaaaahhhh go Lady
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This was a realisation that I came to near the end of my diploma last year. A girl who had always been slightly larger than me… suddenly wasn’t. I started to think that it was unfair, but after talking to her and hearing everything that she did to lose that 9kgs, I knew I wasn’t doing nearly enough. And now I am π
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It’s so cool seeing everyone’s resolutions and plans. Go Smaggle readers! You are all fab.
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Amen and hallelujah.
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wow…just wow
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Brilliantly written. Blunt & to the point. And yes, just a little close to the bone!
I have bought myself a bunch of things to get started on a new physical me! I am pretty excited & have already begun the transformation. Using the dude from Extreme Makeover’s program I will have abs … yes! yes! I will π I will also be fit and flexible!
Also have plans to write and write and write and document some stuff I learnt working with naughty teenagers!
Thanks for laying down the challenge Lady Smaggle! It & will be accountable for doing what I say and not doing the jealousy thing.
Ta! -
Word.
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When you’re right, you’re right!
I want to be able to support myself through my craft. ^_^
I’ll try to remember to be back in 3 months…
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Oh. My. Goodness.
Best. Post. Ever.
You’ve outdone yourself. I’m going to print this out and put it where I can see it everyday.
See you in 3 months… {well, not really… I’ll be here… but you know what I mean!}
Oh, bless. You just made my week. x
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Oh ouch… yup, I recognise a bit of this here! Especially the friends who’ve got slim bit at the moment… most of me is happy for them, but then there’s part of me that’s like oh balls!
I like the challenge of coming back in three months with what we have achieved. Ok, mine are get back in shape, start looking after myself better so I feel better, and on the back of my beeb, get myself more organised and serious as a writer outside of work.
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I’m baffled as to how to reply to a post like this — you’ve hit a chord in me, that’s for sure. Blown. Away.
See you in 3 months …
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Can I be male and comment? OK, it’ll be brief.
What is about human nature that makes us secretly want those closest to us to fail? It’s despicable but so difficult to resist.
This is a great outlook on turning that loathing into something positive.
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Jealousy is useful (when we experience it) in helping us determine what it is we want. Other than that, it is pretty useless. If someone has something you want, get off your butt and start making it happen! I think everyone gets jealous of someone else at some point in life. But the choice is ours whether we want to wallow in it and stew in our anger, or allow the jealousy to empower us to go out and get what we want!
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Thank you. You just put it down on “paper” so well.
Since my beautiful baby was born I’ve been more aware that I’m not the center of the universe and I need to plan where I want to go. Not just this afternoon, but tomorrow, next month and the next few years so that we get the best out of life. I’m working on changing my job to suit me and include more extracurricular activities that help myself and my son learn and grow together.
Giving yourself permission to play, with technology, craft, children or whatever you passion happens to be is very important. Thank you for the challenge. I hope everybody remembers to make the hard slog of achieving your goals at least a little fun.
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Whoa! Mega comment explosion! Awesome. Thanks so much for participating. I expect everyone of you to report back in three months and let me know how your progress is going.
Brumby – Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind!
Kasia – Ha! Awesome! Here’s hoping I won’t lead you astray…
amanda lee – thanks!
The mumma – Well hope to it! See you back here in three months…
Ranty – I know… I still want to kick Mia a little…
E – Totally. That’s why I can’t spend too much with women.
Katie – Love!
Jos – Go girl!
Andrea – SUCH an appropriate name.
Lymie – Great goal! Good luck!
Nessbow – Oh you stop that!
Scribbles – Story of my life!
Nelly – its a little close to home for all of us I think!
Fat Mum Slim – Oh thank you! I’m glad it helped… I know you had a rough week!
Zoe – See you back in three months. I’m holding you to it!
Tracey – Oh a good chord I hope!
Jonathon – Of course! We love boys at Smaggle!
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I fully agree with you.
I hate when my good grade is credited to a professor “liking me.” God forbid I simply worked harder than you and deserved that grade.
I didn’t start getting grades until 11th grade, it was then I learned I liked the feeling of working toward something. It was then and there I decided I was going to get good grades. And it drives me nuts when someone cracks my success up to something as stupid as luck. -
I found this post very interesting, because I agree with you that those who succeed have almost always worked hard and long to get where they are and deserve their success. That said, I also know a lot of people who work hard and write things or draw things that are really good and don’t have success. Sure you have to write your dissertation in order to get a PhD, but that doesn’t change the fact that there are lots of PhDs who have done excellent work but don’t have jobs or job prospects. You won’t get anywhere without putting in the effort, but I do think that there is an element of caprice at play too.
I’m finishing my dissertation, teaching at two universities, and inviting other people over to eat leftover wedding cake, so I maintain my weight instead of gaining.
xo
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I want to learn how to be ME. The whole me, not just the booky me, or the boring clothes work me, or the (very very rarely) going out with friends me, or the crafty me. I want to smoosh all those me’s together and come up with the total ME, who dresses sort of weird and has her own fashion blog (it’s new! come visit! http://librarygirl9.blogspot.com/) and makes jewelry for her etsy shop (Buy stuff! http://www.etsy.com/shop/birnamgrove) and grooves to her own dorky inner music. Challenge accepted, Lady, and I’ll see you in three months.
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clearly, I’m a few days late in my blog commenting but I love this theme and I’m totally inspired to get where I’m going by actually busting my rear to get there! π
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I find this post a bit unrealistic. Yes, hard work usually pays off in some way eventually. And it’s satisfying to work hard whether it leads to success or not. Just knowing you’ve done your best is a good thing. But it is definitely possible to be fantastically lucky and skip a good deal of the hard work part and jump straight to success. And it’s also possible to work very hard and miss out on big accolades. People like to believe that life is inside their control. But unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way, and acknowledging that doesn’t make me a jealous person, just a realist. I love successful people who are willing to be honest enough to admit that whilst they have worked very hard, they have also been lucky enough to receive some breaks and have had the support of others.
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Well said! Let’s take a little confidence from our friends’ accomplishments, instead of the opposite. When someone gets something done, we don’t have to think “Why them and not me?…” How about “Well if they can do it, maybe I can too!”
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thats called hitting the nail on the head! very topical for me this week.. Just got back from a big festival where I got quite quite drunk on ridiculous cocktails and confessed to my best mate to my undying shame that I was quite jealous of her at some points and even made veiled destructive comments at her!
I was soo horrified that she would think I was an absolute monster but she was really really cool with it, shes like me too man! happens to me! ive gone through that to get where I am. I’ve just worked really hard on a) massive agoraphobia b)my sense of style and c) my confidence to become this person you perceive as massively styling, positive and just compeltely magnetic to the opposite sex. it takes work and I believe in you. she also confessed she felt a bit embarassed about fully expressing herself and her confidence etc to be seen as arrogant. which is such a shame!
It’s very hard to not compare yourself to other people it’s one of my massive things that leads to jealousy and generally pretty shite about myself and my accomplishments. but its also false to look at where someone is today and blame it on luck or whatever else. it does everyone a disservice. so yeah not sure what im gonna check back in 3 months about..
maybe being totally stylin and positive and happy with my body? ..good work on a great post lady smaggle.x
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One of my new years resolutions was to scare myself (in a good way) at least once a week. So far I have bought crazy earrings (that I always wanted to wear, but never had the courage to), signed up for cello lessons (eek) and am now pondering the pros and cons of sending the boy I just can’t get out of my head a valentines card (for me this is HUGE!). I think the fear of stuff not working out the way you thought it would plus a bit of self doubt/possibility of failing holds a lot of people back, hence why posts such as this one are so awesome, everyone needs a helping hand/bit of encouragement as often as they can. So this year I will:
finish the novel (massive project, has needed finishing since end of last year), carry on doing scary things and start keeping chickens. -
Fantastic post. Absolutely FANtastic.
I’ve just discovered your blog. And this post is all about what I’ve been experiencing lately – jealousy of other successful musicians. Instead of letting the jealousy eat me up, I’ve realised I’d be better off spending my energy on playing and writing songs.
Duh.
Nice one! π
