Appropriate Blogging Vocabulary (Like totes getting down with the interwebz lolz).

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What’s the past tense of ‘tweet’?

‘Tweeted’. It is NOT ‘twittered’. Or ‘twat’… although I kind of wish it was ‘twat’.

Here are some good phrases –

I will tweet about Johnny Depp’s balls. I have also tweeted about his arse. The tweets about Johnny Depp’s balls are awesome. The tweets about his arse are also great.

These phrases make my brains cry –

I’m twittering about Johnny Depp’s member. I have twittered about this all day*. All the twitters about Johnny Depp and sex are awesome.

*This one is quite common and therefore not the end of the world but I will think less of you if you use it. Say ‘tweeted’ instead.

What do I call my twitter followers?

Twitter followers. More casually you can say ‘tweeps’ (be careful with this one because it often comes up as ‘twerps’). ‘Tweeties’. Anything but ‘twitters’.

What is a  blog?

The word ‘blog’ refers to the actual site. Blogs used to be called weblogs… like a web log… and then some genius shortened it to blog (which now refers to the whole site not just one ‘web log’) but we can’t do much about that now except learn how to use the term correctly and in a more modern way. For example, Smaggle is my blog. If I have written something and I have published it on the blog then I have blogged. Now this is the tricky part. What I have written is NOT a blog, it’s a post or an article.

For example you may say –

‘I have written a new post about being naked with Johnny Depp on my blog.’

‘I have blogged about Johnny Depp touching my special area.’

You may not say –

‘Read my latest blog about sex with Johnny Depp!’.

‘Or leave us a blog’. (Some dipshit I saw on Twitter once wrote ‘I have a website! Leave me a blog!’. I don’t even know how that person started a blog. Or signed up for Twitter for that matter.)

You should also avoid saying –

‘I have blogged at my blog’ – technically it’s not incorrect but it’s like saying ‘I have written some writing’. Just don’t.

What does SEO stand for?

Search engine optimisation.

If you are wondering whether or not you are using this one correctly in a sentence, simply expand it (in your head) to see if it makes sense.

You may say –

‘Sex and Johnny Depp are great words for SEO’

You may not say –

‘The word sex has great search engine SEO’.

Is it okay to use the word Facebook as a verb?

Technically yes, but try not to say it to me. If someone says ‘Facebook me!’ what I’m hearing is this –

‘Like, totes Faceboook me babez! OMG! LOL!’

I will occasionally say this but only in jest and always accompanied by a mock hair flick.

I also hate the words ‘party’ and ‘gift’ being used as verbs. Just FYI.

Is it okay to use text speak like lol and OMG?

I’d prefer it if you didn’t but if you must make sure you know what your text speak abbreviations stand for. ‘lol’ means ‘laugh out loud’. I know a lot of you are thinking ‘Yeah thanks Captian Obvious!’ but I see people on Twitter quite regularly finishing tweets with ‘lol’.

For example ‘Sooooo cold today! lol’. Really? Is that funny? Are you laughing out loud?

Public service announcement – ‘lol’ is not a full stop.

Happy blogging!

Perhaps you’d like to leave me a blog…? (comment?)

And like totes Facebook me! Lol. And follow my Twitters!

Love

Smaggle

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