Today is Mama Smaggle’s birthday.

She’s a total fruit loop, and in honour of her getting older and battier I’m going to publicly list her finest qualities.

* She manages to say ‘vagina’ at least once during every dinner party.

* When she disappears during one of her nephew’s 18th birthday celebrations, you’ll usually find her in the kitchen doing body shots off their friend’s chests.

* If there’s a reality medical show on like RPA, she can guess without error, whether or not the patient is going to die. It totally ruins the show.

* Similarly if there’s a non-reality medical show on like Grey’s Anatomy, she screams panicked, emergency instructions at the actors because clearly, they are doing it wrong. She’s a nurse, by the way.

* She makes amazing food. Then asks you twenty times whether or not you enjoyed it.

* If I am wearing white around her, she WILL spill some kind of red drink on me. Wine and strawberry daiquiri are her favourites.

On top of all of this she sneakily edits Smaggle every day and has done so for almost four years.

So raise your glasses of red drink and be sure to spill it on someone else! To Mama Smaggle!

Happy Birthday!!!

Feel free to lavish love on her in the comments. Don’t go too overboard though. She has a nasty habit of stealing my friends.