My man and I both travel quite frequently with our careers. He’s been interstate for the last week and I admit, I always get a teensy bit excited when this happens, because I get to indulge in my Lame Defiant Behaviours. These are not the same as Secret Single Behaviours, the things we would never want our boyfriends to see us do. Lame Defiant Behaviours are little things that I seem to only do when the Mr is away, and I get really smug and self-congratulatory about them despite the fact that a) he wouldn’t give a shit if I did these things when he was around, and b) none of them are even remotely cool enough to warrant any kind of secrecy from him.

I just get utterly delighted when I do these things, living in a temporary solo situation.

* Eat porridge for dinner every night.

* Eat said porridge for dinner at 4pm.

* Use his pillow, and sleep starfish style, smack in the centre of the bed.

* Use all his man products in the shower. I shave under my arms using his fancy facial foam and wash my hair with his minty man shampoo.

* Keep the house utterly spotless.

* Go to bed early and watch TV shows on my laptop.

* Go grocery shopping and return with only yoghurt and a magazine.

* Buy weird stuff at the service station on my way home. Like chocolate milk or liquorice.

* Put sauce on everything.

* Watch movies that I’ve seen dozens of times, like Dirty Dancing or Pretty Woman.

* Wear socks to bed.

What are your Lame Defiant Behaviours? Do you wear your pyjamas all day? Live off purely processed foods? Listen to your favourite music at ear-splitting volume?

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