Smaggle

I’ve been very lucky to be mentioned in a few publications in the recent months and I finally got around to scanning them today. Here’s a little fashion shoot that my man and I did in February this year.

So I guess the cat’s out of the bag… my man’s name is Ben. That felt like a Mr Big = John moment. Oh and we are totally aware that Ben sounds like a knob jockey and I sound like a Stepford wife, but as with most print media, there was quite a bit of creative paraphrasing going on. ‘Stop violating my design sense!‘ has become a favourite family phrase. Oh and he’s also not 25. Ah, look at the photo… he’s all ‘Get me my shirts… bitch.‘ Good times.

I was also interviewed by the gorgeous Rachel Hills for her bridesmaid feature in Sunday Life Magazine in June. I released a podcast about How to Be The Perfect Bridesmaid and she was picking my brains about appropriate bridal etiquette.

I also helped out with an article in the July (current issue) Cleo magazine. It’s all about how to make time for yourself. I KNEW being a self-indulgent Virgo would pay off eventually.

You can click on the pictures to get a readable image.

I’m done bragging now.

Okaaaaaaay… this has been sufficiently awkward.

Hey look! A banana!

I have recently developed an unhealthy obsession with Mummy Bloggers. It started years ago with Fat Mum Slim and now includes a bevy of sassy mamas include the hilarious Kerri Sackville. Kerri wrote a book, When My Husband Does The Dishes, which I read in one sitting. Hilarious. Completely relatable, and I don’t even have children. I am, however, utterly obsessed with Boo – Kerri’s smart arse toddler who often has me in stitches over my morning coffee. Kerri is this weeks very talented guest poster and I’m kind of giddy to have her here at Smaggle.

Kerri Sackville is an author, columnist and mother of three. Her blog, Life And Other Crises, details the daily dramas of her life as a 40-something wife, mum, friend, bunny wrangler and owner of an improbably white house. Kerri’s recently released book “When My Husband Does The Dishes…A Memoir Of Marriage And Motherhood” (Random House Aust) is a funny, honest account of what marriage looks like after 150 years of togetherness and three children. Kerri is an avid reader and obsessive Twitterer, and in her free time enjoys eating Nutella, drinking caffeine with friends, and lying very still on the couch.

Every few years, my bras fall apart and have to be replaced.

This is a problem for me, as my breasts have also fallen apart, and though they really should be replaced, I have ethical (and financial, and practical) problems with this. So I have to stick with my breasts, and just work around them as best I can.

I’ve been wearing the same bras for three years now, since my breasts returned to normal after the birth of Toddler (using the word ‘normal’ in the sense of ‘not at all like a supermodel, or indeed any woman whose breasts have ever been lusted after by a man’).

Sadly, my breasts did not grow back after the inevitable post-breastfeeding deflation. To the contrary. Over the past three years, they have kept on SHRINKING. I do not know this was actually possible, as I didn’t think one could get much smaller than an A cup, but apparently it is. So now my tiny little breasts swim in their cups, leaving a pocket of space that is quite handy to store tissues or loose change, but that rather undermines the nice shape I am trying to achieve.

So last week, I had to bra shop. I don’t much enjoy bra shopping. This is partly because it is a pain to take off all my upper garments and try on 750 bras whose straps and hooks need adjusting before I can get them over my shoulders, and partly because it’s rather humiliating having a firm bosomed young woman fiddle with my flappy waggly wigglies.

Still, I made the effort. And I cannot quite describe what went on in that tiny changeroom. I mean, I could, of course, but I think it would be dangerously disturbing for my female readers, far too traumatic for me, and WAY too exciting for those men amongst you who have only clicked onto this post because it had ‘breast’ in the title.

Suffice it to say that I ended up with three different bras:

1) A very lovely black strapless bra, that keeps my breasts nicely in place whilst remaining hidden from view, unless I’m wearing something white, which I usually am, in which case my very lovely black bra is going to be an extremely prominent feature;

2) A delightful, lacey, blue push-up, that creates an illusion of cleavage in low-cut tops, with the unfortunate but manageable tendency to allow my nipple to continually slip out in eye-popping wardrobe malfunctions; and

3) An ‘adjustable’ flesh coloured bra, with clear straps, that cleverly makes my four breasts look twice the size they usually are. Which is great, except that I really only want two breasts, and until I put this particular bra on, that’s what I had.

So as you can see, none of my bras are quite ideal. But then again, neither are my breasts, so it’s not like I had a lot to work with. And really, so far they’re working quite well.

Four-breasted nipple flash, anyone?

What’s your biggest bra gripe? What design flaws frustrate you? I hate lacey bras. They are itchy and you can see them under everything. I also hate strapless bras because my breasts are too small to keep them in place. Do you have a favourite brand? Do you wear matching underwear? Lets talk about our smalls!

A wee little while ago I shocked you all with my confession that I’ve never been to a movie alone. I know right? Up tight much. So, on your recommendation, I took an afternoon off from writing, got all gussied up and took myself on a damn fine lady date. That’s me above. I’m trying out ‘sultry’. On myself, apparently. I’m so getting lucky on this date.

So, I went to see Bridesmaids for the second time, because I needed to see Kristen Wiig’s one eyed, penis impersonation again. And the Wilson Phillips dance montage. (Note to self – get Hold On on iTunes and sing it in the shower ASAP)

Here is how my afternoon went.

1pm – I bought myself my favourite movie treat – non-brand specific, sugary, pink-flavoured, blended ice drink.

1.05pm – I bought my ticket. Then I lost my ticket. Then I found it again… and lost it once more before I got to the door.

1.10 – Seated in theatre. Text boyfriend to brag that I’m seeing a movie alone.

1.11 – Boyfriend texts to ask if I’m enjoying some form of frozen pink beverage.

1.12 – Realise I’m frighteningly predictable. Send boyfriend MMS of said frozen pink beverage.

1.15 – Movie starts.

2.oo – Snort loudly at John Hamm.

2.40 – Mouth the line ‘You smell like pine needles and you have a face like sunshine.’

3.00 – Get very uncomfortable about watching a raunchy sex scene. I have no idea why.

3.30 – Groove a little too enthusiastically to Wilson Phillips. (Hold On is now on my iPhone. Word)

Result?

AWESOME!

Thanks for egging me on ladies.

Stay tuned for my eating alone in a restaurant review.

It’s the dead of winter here in frosty old Melbourne and my standard diet of salads and smoothies hasn’t been seen since April. Because it’s so cold I just want to drown myself in potato mash and pasta, but carbohydrates are no friend of mine. It’s hard to avoid them in the winter months though. This stew is made with lentils and brown rice, which are slow burning carbohydrates. They’ll keep you full and warm without that stodgy feeling you might get from white bread and starchy vegetables. It’s also delicious and your boyfriend/husband/father/son/ravenous male will never even know that it’s healthy.

Ingredients

1 kilo of chicken breast

Olive oil

2 cloves of garlic

1 large red chilli

Two boxes of frozen spinach

1 tablespoon of turmeric

1 tablespoon of cumin

3 tomatos

1 cup red lentils

3 cups of cooked brown rice

5 cups of chicken stock

Salt and pepper

Juice of one lime

Coriander leaves

Natural yogurt

Instructions

1. Heat oil in saucepan. Fry chopped onions, crushed garlic and chopped chilli for 5 to 6 minutes until soft.

2. Add chicken. Sear. Add turmeric and cumin and fry for a minute.

3. Add tomato, chicken stock and red lentils. Bring to boil, then simmer for fifiteen minutes.

4. Defrost spinach in the microwave for about 5 minutes. Squeeze out excess water. Add to the pot. Leave to simmer for at least 10 minutes, but the longer the better.

5. Stir in cooked rice. Serve with a spoon of natural yogurt, a sprinkle of lime juice, salt, pepper and coriander leaves.

This recipe makes about 7 to 8 serves, depending on whether or not people eat second helpings.

Please let me know if you have any questions. You can comment on Twitter and Facebook too!

Happy stewing!

Just a few little clicky things to keep you amused on your lunch break… or afternoon tea break… or before bed.

I loved Molly Landreth’s Tender Vintage Portraits of Modern Gay Life. Via Brainpickings.

The Sartorialist photographing women in Florence and Milan. Perfect for my pre-summer wardrobe planning.

These Toilet Paper Owls are adorable. Fabulous for an afternoon kiddy craft project.

Also from SwissMiss is this  Checklist for Great Talks.

And now I want to bake rustic chocolate cakes all day.

This guest post comes from my girl Sarah Von. When she was visiting we were dicussing how sad it is that all our greatests posts are dying in our archives. I’ve dug out a piece she wrote on how to craft an awesome group of close friends. Enjoy.

May I wax immodest for a moment and tell you that I have an amazing group of friends? Really. I count some of the funniest, smartest, most accomplished, most amazing people in the land as my nearest and dearest. How lucky am I, right?

Making friends as an adult can be a tricky business, can’t it? You see a cool girl in the bookshop, wearing a concert t-shirt from your favorite band and perusing the hiiii-larious new David Sedaris book. How do you talk to her without her thinking you’re trying to pick her up? And how do you ask your super funny, single (male) co-worker to go rock climbing without prefacing the whole thing with “butivegotaboyfriendihopeyouknow!”

How’s about we work out step-by-step instructions for The Cultivation and Maintenance Of A Fulfilling and Fun Social Circle?

Consider What You Want In A Friend
I, personally, want friends that inspire me in some form. Maybe they do great things at their job as an inner city social worker (Hi, Tara!). Perhaps they’re impressively zen, balanced and non-judgemental (I’m looking at you, Kathryn and Meghan). Or they might just make me laugh so hard I choke on my Diet Coke (Darcie/Tamara/Winona/Ashley/Emily/Steph). Regardless, they all bring something to the table that I gladly gobble up.

So have a good think about the things that are important to you and what you’d like more of in your life. Do you need someone who will kick your ass (metaphorically, of course) when you don’t follow up on that job lead? Do you want a friend who will joyfully trade parenting war stories with you? Or a girl that will join you when you want to dance on top of the bar? All good friends to have!

Go Do Stuff
I’m sure this will come as a huge surprise to you, but you won’t actually make new friends sitting at home by yourself, dressing your cat in vests. You have to go out and meet people! It’s not unlike dating, guys. Put yourself in situations that are likely to present interesting, like-minded people. Volunteer. Go to the rock climbing wall. Take a community ed class. Join a church or temple if you’re religious.

Places I’ve met friends? A party hosted by my ex-boyfriend’s co-worker. Italy. A bachelorette party. An internet message board. The gene pool of my ex-boyfriend.

Take Some Initiative
Okay, so now you’ve met someone awesome. Make it happen, dude. Find them of facebook and friend them. Tell them you had a great time discussing obscure Russian artists with them. Invite them to something that you know would interest them. What’s the worst that could happen?

As a side note: when I meet someone I want to befriend, I have zero qualms about announcing to them “You’re awesome. We’re going to friends now, I hope you know.” You’d be amazed how effective this is!

Awesome People Beget More Awesome People
If you’ve got one awesome friend, chances are pretty good that she knows other awesome people. I picked up Laura at a Halloween party (we bonded over mini butterfingers and our shared desire to conquer the world) and recently met her fantastic friend Elizabeth at a valentines-making party. Elizabeth and I are now knee-deep in plans for manicures and margaritas. Operation New Friendship accomplished!

Make Things Happen
Having an active social life doesn’t just happen. We’re all busy folks with jobs and families and classes and that bacon isn’t going to eat itself! We all fall off the social wagon from time and time and before you know it, you haven’t been to a party or gotten a non-telemarketer phone call in ages. It’s easy to get a bit paranoid, wonder what you’re missing and convince yourself that your friends aren’t that into you. Don’t.

Be the do-er. Get a group together to try that new Korean karaoke joint. Or to go to the races. Throw a miracle berry party. Sociability begets more sociability.

Make Your Friendships A Priority
Not unlike long-term romantic relationships, we might take long-term friendships for granted. Make the effort to stay in touch if you’re not in the same city. Remember their birthday. Tell them how much you appreciate them. Cultivate the inside joke.

Hold Up Your End of The Friendship Deal
Pick them up at the airport at 3 am. Help them paint their apartment. Listen to them rail against that awful co-worker. Go with them to the Heidi Montag concert. Tell them when the skirt looks better with a different top. They’d do the same for you. And if they wouldn’t? Maybe they’re not your friend.

Don’t Be Afraid to Toss Out The Bad Eggs
Of course, there are going to be friendships that cease to work. People and circumstances change. Don’t be afraid to objectively evaluate your friendships and consider if they’re still working for you. If you emerge from an interaction with a friend feeling drained, negative or insecure, you know that they’re no good for you. If it’s just one specific behavior that’s getting under your skin, try to (diplomatically, kindly) discuss it with your friend.

And if nothing seems to work? Stop calling. There’s a good chance that that person has been feeling the disconnect as well. If they’re still intent on hanging out, limit it to group interactions or the occasional coffee after which you have a (real or imagined) appointment that limits the interaction to an hour or so.

What’s your friend circle like? How do you meet new people? Do you think that you’re a good friend?

P.S You can follow Sarah Von on Twitter here and like her on Facebook here. You can tweet me and facebook me too! You can also listen to our joint podcast here.

It’s freezing. Can you tell?

* Skirt from SES around ten years ago

* Tights from Big W

* Boots Fryes Veronica

* Singlet top from Supre

* Merino wool vest from Big W

* Gloves from the Portrait Gallery Gift shop

* Pashmina gift for my 21st

* Leather jacket from Ms Selfridge

I’m travelling for the next week so I’ve had to postpone my fashion challenges from Facebook AGAIN!

I’ll be on it as soon as possible. Please feel free to add more! Or Tweet me. So far my readers have requested really mean things like no black, no neutrals, colour blocking and pattern mixing. I’m a monochromatic whore. Wish me luck.

As a young women in a committed, long-term relationship, it’s often falsely assumed that I must be twitching to get my man down on one knee as soon as humanly possible. Or at least casually browsing in Tiffany’s every second Saturday.

When I say that I don’t want to get married any time soon, this statement is viewed as an act of self-preservation. It’s decided that my partner isn’t ready, or that perhaps our relationship isn’t in that ‘serious’ stage, or we are focussing on our careers and have set a time in the future when we will get engaged. My standard reply evokes varying levels of pity. The inquirer thinks that I desperately want to get married, but I’m hiding some reason why it’s not happening.

That’s not true at all. I’m just incredibly ambivalent about marriage. Honestly. Some days I think a wedding might be nice. Other days, I think I couldn’t be bothered with all the preparation. I have no intention of changing my last name. Defacto couples have the same legal rights as married couples. I’m as equally un-interested in children at this point in my life. I’m not religious. I also can’t bring myself to want to participate in a legal union that homosexuals are excluded from. It makes it less valid for me. As if the fact that I have a vagina and my boyfriend has a penis is so important to the longevity, love and commitment of our relationship. Personally, I feel like marriage in Australia is cheapened because of its exclusivity to straight couples.

Having said that, I LOVE weddings. Hugely. I’m a serial bridesmaid. Two of my dearest friends are getting married this year and I can’t wait. The first of my generation of Smaggles just got engaged and we are all so excited. Weddings are grand. As long as it’s not mine, I’m all over it like a fat kid on cake.

It’s just not something I want to do any time soon. I have the perfect relationship. Believe me, there is no room for improvement. So why get married? This isn’t to say that I won’t ever get married (or have children) but I’m a woman in my mid (to late-ish) twenties, who has been in a relationship for five years with an amazing and committed man. If I’m not pointing out potential engagement rings or renewing my Cosmo Bride subscription, when will I? It just doesn’t excite me and I’m beginning to wonder if it ever will.

What about you? How do you feel about marriage? Are you married? Did you feel social pressure to get married or did you just really want to? If you aren’t married, is it something that you definitely want? I’d love to know your age, marital status and what you think!

Please feel free to comment on Facebook and Twitter too.