Why You Need to Ease Up On Yourself Right Now.

Today we have our regular contributer Kimberley Smith from Dream. Delight. Inspire. telling us why we need to ease up on ourselves and cut back on our relentless striving for total perfection.

I have written a couple of posts lately about perfectionism and supporting the women around us rather than competing with them, and I’ve discovered that this is something that a lot of women are really struggling with. I think most of the time we put it down to being “normal” and tend to say we’re simply “high achievers”, but it gets to a point where nothing ever seems good enough and THAT is not healthy.

I know too many women that are hung up on not being a size 6-8, being in a less than thrilling job, not having met The One yet (well, the straight one anyway), and just generally not being where they thought they would be in their lives by now. I’ve seen it eat away at them and start to become the focus of their lives. You probably know people like this too and perhaps you recognise these traits in yourself.

How much time are you spending being unsatisfied with your life? How often do you find yourself planning huge changes to attain something that someone else has (and you’re not sure that you even want)? How often do you look at yourself in the mirror and wish that you were more this or less that?

JUST STOP.

Stop comparing.

There comes a time when you have to accept who you are. Comparing yourself to others doesn’t help you get to where they are any faster. You might never get there. I would kill for Miranda Kerr’s skin and über toned way-too-much-yoga-and-a-shot-of-noni-juice-a-day body, but that will never happen. My genes guarantee me mild rosacea and child-baring hips and I’ve come to accept that. Focus on being the best version of yourself you can be, rather than wanting to become someone else.

Stop rushing.

Take time to relish what you’re learning and how you’re growing as a person. You will reach your goals eventually, there’s no need to constantly be impatient and irritated at the rate at which you’re progressing. Why rush through things? Enjoy the journey. Be the tortoise and not the hare!

Stop complaining.

When we’re consistently hard on ourselves and striving for bigger and better things, we often vent our frustration in the form of an unconstructive whinge-fest. Settle down and be grateful, not just for everything you’ve got but everything you’ve achieved. Too often I see women who have so much going for them and have had great success in their lives that can’t even see it themselves. Open your eyes and acknowledge your wins.

Stop pushing yourself.

It’s okay to have a day in bed reading or watching DVDs. Sometimes what your body (and mind) needs is for you to just relax. Perfectionists tend to wonder why they get sick often – because they never give themselves a break. Listen to your body and slow things down when it’s telling you you’re pushing it too hard and fast.

Put an end to the self-loathing, the unrealistic comparisons and the unachievable goals. Realise what you’re good at and what you’re capable of and let yourself shine without measuring the wattage!

So give yourself a chill pill okay? Do the best you can at a sensible pace. There’s no rush and there’s no time limit. Just breathe.