One of the things I actively try to decrease in my life is guilt. We women do guilt very well – we condemn ourselves for eating a second (okay, ninth) piece of chocolate, for taking too long to respond to a friend’s text message or even putting off that god-awful gynaecologist appointment for months. But how is this guilt useful? It certainly doesn’t make us pick up the phone and book a pap smear any quicker!
I think the trick to decreasing this ridiculous bone-crushing guilt is balance. Ah, the ever lusted after concept of balance! We all know that complete balance is a myth, but we can focus on a simple give and take system.
Consider this, what if you were to do something that you’ve procrastinated over or dislike doing and once it’s done let yourself relax and indulge a little? Say you have 56 unanswered emails – get onto them and afterwards treat yourself to a DIY manicure. Perhaps you’re someone who always pushes their cardio session to “tomorrow”. Why not suck it up, get running and at the end of a fortnight of consistent runs, buy yourself a sexy new workout top?
One of the reasons that we feel guilty when we do something indulgent is that deep down we feel as though we don’t deserve it. That is crazy talk woman! You always deserve something lovely but if that tiny irritating voice of reason is telling you to earn it, why not tick something off your to do list first?
The important thing to focus on is doing something you may not want to (but has to be done) before you let yourself ease up and enjoy a treat. If it’s the other way around, you’ll be motivated by guilt rather than smug satisfaction.
Try to approach each day as a fresh start. Don’t try to bargain with yourself over weeks or months, you’ll lose track of what you owe where (and more than likely end up in a cake-induced coma). You do something virtuous, you reward yourself a little the same day.
This is what works for me in terms of managing my personal guilt – what about you? Any tips or tricks you’d like to share?
Kimberley is a regular contributer at Smaggle, writing about productivity and positivity. You can visit her blog Dream. Delight. Inspire. here and follow her on twitter here.
4 Comments
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Love this! I used to always feel guilty, especially about spending money, but it definitely is easier when you work hard and reward yourself for it! This post is a great reminder for women everywhere!
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I will often leave things for a while, but when I find myself thinking ‘I should get onto that’ for the third or fourth time, I will try and just do it. Honestly, just kick my own arse and do it.
The other thing I do is schedule time for it. When I get really busy and just can’t fit everything in, I’ll make a note in my diary. So this week, when I was out most nights, I wrote ‘Home day – dishes, washing, bacon-buttermilk scones, chocolate cake and choc-chip cookies’ on Saturday. Hmm, should get onto that.
Just kidding, I’ve had the washing on while I played on the internet, and now I’m off to deal with that and do kitchen-y stuff. Reward? Cake!
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Each day I make myself a list of three tasks that I must accomplish by the end of the day. Once they’re taken care of, I ease up on myself a bit. I don’t stop working, but I reassure myself that the most important things are out of the way.
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‘”YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, BUT NOT EVERYTHING”‘ This statement is very nice for choosing one way life no that every way, T hanks for sharing it .
