Be your best self.

Reasons Why Being Productive Is Counterproductive.

Reasons Why Being Productive Is Counterproductive.
Carly Jacobs

I totally suck at being cool with hard work paying off. I discovered this yesterday when two fairly minor good things happened to me. One was being hired for a shit-paying-but-fun writing gig and the other was having someone pass on an article of mine to someone Very Important. While firmly stating that this was no guarantee that the Important Person would give a shit with a caveat that the Important Person most probably wouldn’t give a shit.

My brain clearly thought this was equal to a monthly feature in Vogue and a meeting with Anna Dello Russo and promptly crapped out.

So what I did do? I dicked around all afternoon, swanning about my house, eating porridge, googling things. I was like ‘Two potentially great things might have happened as a direct result of my own productivity. I no longer need to try at life.

And that’s how I wasted an entire weekday afternoon. I’m not even sure what it was that I did but it involved lots of clothing changes. I was trying to find the most appropriate frock to sit around being a winner in. I made a cup of tea with a saucer. Because that’s what winners do. I also spent 2 hours making my Wii Fit Mii really fat and bald, then a princess, then Asian, then a transexual. I let my semi-success devour me.

I think today, I’m offering some advice. Don’t peak too soon. If three semi-interesting, bordering on okay events occur in the same day it’s probably best to get your guard on. Counter act it with premeditated acts of defence. Lick the face of a sick person. Throw out a $10 note. Cut your own hair. Anything to avoid that smug fog of achievement that leads to the total annihilation of productivity.  Also… really, no one likes a show off. Check out the kid in the photo. He was too awesome with his magic trophy and shit got serious. Just be careful today. Okay?

Tell me… have you ever been too awesome? 

14 Comments

  1. Sally 12 years ago

    This should be sent to the Important Person…. awesome article!

  2. Melissa Robinson 12 years ago

    This is exactly what I needed to read right now so thank you 😀 A lot of things fell into place for me yesterday and then I somehow found myself watching Bones re-runs all afternoon because I ‘deserved it’. Oh and as always, thanks for another amazing post 🙂
    x Melissa

  3. Hannah 12 years ago

    Are you me? It’s like I get a few gig booked in and then…get lazy. Then the next month I am scrambling to get gigs booked in in order to, you know, pay the rent? i think I just get overwhelmed and don’t know what to do with myself. So I do nothing instead. Mr. BB is convinced I have performance anxiety and am scared of succeeding fully…or something. I promise he means that in te nicest possible way, too. 

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      I think we’re all a little scared of succeeding fully. My fear is to be awesome at somethine and then have to maintain that level of awesome forever. It keeps me awake at night! 🙂

  4. Kimberley 12 years ago

    I was chuckling through this whole post. You are such a crack up C! I can just imagine you sitting there being a winner, grinning at how amazing your transexual Mii looks. 

    I think part of the reason we tend to procrastinate once something good is in the pipeline is that we’re waiting to reap the benefits of that amazing win and nothing else will be quite as awesome. We feel as though we’ve tapped out our stash of magic and might as well just roll around in the magic that’s already been created. Although, in saying that – your “day of a winner” activities were right up there on the Scoreboard of Awesome in my opinion. x

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      Ha! That’s pretty much how it went. 

      Too true about reaping the rewards. You are a wise one. 

  5. Katherine 12 years ago

    Oh this is too funny! I haven’t had the luck to have quite so much success but I will keep this in mind on the off chance that I do have something super awesome happen 😉

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      Believe me shitty freelance work and false promises aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. 🙂

  6. M E Beissel 12 years ago

    I loved this so much. Whenever I achieve anything I always seem to wrap myself in a cloud of doom, as if to ward off jinxing myself 😛

  7. JessB 12 years ago

    Sadly, I have not ever felt that I am too awesome. But I can totally believe that you are super awesome. 

  8. Erin0083 12 years ago

    Pretty much dealing with that shit right now – aced my first essay; now along comes essay number two and do I put as much or indeed any effort in? Nope. Why? Because studious Erin already won and therefore no longer needs to prove how amzeballs she is at that whole academia thing.

    Balls. this thing is due tomrrow…

  9. Dr Na 12 years ago

    I am the opposite, I think. I have a good run of luck and I turn into a sickening, obnoxious virtue machine. Something doesn’t go quite right and my brain goes WELL WHAT’S THE POINT IN DOING ANYTHING AT ALL I MAY AS WELL JUST LIE IN BED AND WAIT TO DIE.

  10. Bek 11 years ago

    Love it – this is so me.

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