Before we begin I just need to clarify that I DO know what these words mean. They just break my brain a little when I hear them because they don’t sound like they should mean what they mean. Here are 5 words that regularly confuse me until my brain sorts out the real meaning from the fake meaning that’s inexplicably stamped in my memory.
Vitriolic
What My Brain Thinks It Should Mean
That someone is admiring someone in an almost religious way.
What It Actually Means
1. (Chemistry) (of a substance, esp a strong acid) highly corrosive
2. severely bitter or caustic; virulent vitriolic criticism
Why This Is A Problem
When someone makes a ‘victriolic’ speech I’m like ‘Oh how nice of them!‘
Nonplussed
What My Brain Thinks It Should Mean
Not fussed. Because it rhymes. It’s so obvious.
What It Actually Means
1. To put at a loss as to what to think, say, or do; bewilder
2. A state of perplexity, confusion, or bewilderment
Why This is a Problem
It’s not really, because I’m fairly sure that most people don’t know the real meaning of this word anyway.
Incarcerated
What My Brain Thinks It Should Mean
Someone got set on fire.
What It Actually Means
1. To imprison; confine.
2. To enclose; constrict closely.
Why This Is A Problem
My heart leaps into my throat every time I hear the word because it sounds so disastrous. I mean going to jail isn’t the greatest thing that can happen to a person but it’s a hell of a lot better than getting set on fire. As you can imagine the 7 o’clock news can be very distressing for me.
Concur
What My Brain Thinks It Should Mean
Whenever anyone says ‘I concur!‘ I think they’re saying ‘I object!‘.
What It Actually Means
1. To accord in opinion; agree: Do you concur with his statement?
2. To cooperate; work together; combine; be associated: Members of both parties concurred
3. To coincide; occur at the same time: His graduation concurred with his birthday
4. Obsolete . to run or come together; converge
Why This Is Problem
Almost daily major confusion, often coupled with outrage. For example I’ll say something like ‘Every one should have the right to get married regardless of their sexual persuasion.‘ and then someone will say ‘I concur!‘ and for a second I’m all ‘Bitch I will cut you.‘
Digress
What My Brain Thinks It Should Mean
You win, I give up.
What It Actually Means
1. To depart from the main subject in speech or writing
2. To wander from one’s path or main direction
Why This Is A Problem
I frequently think I’m winning an argument when I’m really not.
What about you? Are there any words that don’t sound right to you? Or that you’ve simply invented a new meaning for? Does this happen to everyone? Or am I just a moron?
13 Comments
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You know what, (as I’m not a native English speaker) I didn’t actually know that concur meant agreeing, I really thought it was thinking the opposite! Nice to know 🙂
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Hahaha… this is funny cos I thought your definitions were much better. ‘Nonplussed’ is one that I have never used as I had no clue but thought it was something like “Yeah, not fussed”… thanks for clearing it up.
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Paradigm shift – I like to think of it as a movement of shapes (e.g. hexagon, octagon).
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Totally agree with incaration! Ive always thought that too – i wonder why 😕 xx
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My brain goes to the same place with the word “incarcerated”. I think it might be because it sounds like ‘incinerated”
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I don’t have the same problem with any of these, but I DO have the same problem with some other words.
I always thought bemused was kind of mildly amused.
I always thought dearth meant “a lot of” as opposed to, well, the opposite.
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Hahah I do the same with nonplussed – for some reason I think of it someone being really blase lol.
And bemused is not mildly amused??!! Wow.
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I do not have this issue with the meaning of words and when to use them – my issue is that sometimes I look at a word and it doesn’t look like a word anymore. Like, if I look at it too long it just becomes a jumble of letters. Bizarre-o. This is especially an issue in exams when one doesn’t really have the time to assess whether assess should ‘look’ like it does. Oh, dear!
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My little sister invented ‘molly polish’, which for her meant nail polish. We have no idea how she created this, but everyone in my immediate family uses it now, to the confusion of strangers.
‘Could you pass the molly polish, please?’
‘What lovely molly polish!’ -
My brain has so much trouble with ‘incarcerated’. And can I add one please? ‘Rapport’. What the shit is with that word? Surely, surely, it has SOMETHING to do with rapping. Alas, no.
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LOL, cousin, LOL.
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This is gold! I used to struggle with the word “laud”. It took me a very long time to mentally accept that being lauded is a good thing! I’m not sure why, but to me it always sounded so negative!
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Duly – I always think of as double, so, “duly noted” is noted twice. I always have to think “due-ly, not dual-ly”! ( luckily I don’t also confuse with duel-ly as things could get unnecessarily violent)
