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What’s Your Worst Ever Shaving or Hair Removal Story?

What’s Your Worst Ever Shaving or Hair Removal Story?
Carly Jacobs

I’m a little weird about admitting to this but I’ve based a fairly regular beauty buy upon a line from Empire Records, one of my favourite movies of all time. If you haven’t seen it it’s about a group of misfits that work at a record store. At one point in the movie they throw a fake funeral for one of the characters, Deb and she admits that she tried to ‘Kill herself with a Lady Bic. A pink plastic razor with daisies on it and a moisturising strip.’

I’m an aural learner – if I hear something it stays in my brain forever, which is why I can still sing every song on Alanis Morrisette’s Jagged Little Pill album… and the Spice Girls Spice album. It’s also why whenever I go into a supermarket to buy razors I have an inner monologue of…pink plastic razor… moisturising strip… and naturally that’s what ends up in my trolley. I hope Bic and any other company that makes cheap generic pink razors is pleased with that product placement because they’ve had one hell of a return in my personal sales alone.

Anyway this all brings me to the point that I don’t actually know what I’m looking for in a razor because I’ve been using the same cheap pink crap since I was 14 – partly from fan girl crushing on Robin Tunney and partly out of habit. All because of a random line in a random film by one of the most underrated actresses in Hollywood. I’m an advertiser’s dream. The emotional and habitual buyer.

So Schick recently sent me their Hydro Silk for review and I admit I was a little skeptical. I’ve had a long standing relationship with my disappointing pink plastic wonders. They’re like a friend that I made when I was a teenager who I don’t really like very much but keep hanging around with out of familiarity. With reluctance I gave the Hydro a whirl around my hairy bits. Sweet silky armpits, that’s a good razor. Here’s a few things I’ve noticed about the Hydro Silk.

It’s Really Big

Compared to my prissy little girl razors, this thing is a beast. One under arm swipe and I’m done. Bonza.

It Comes With a Little Suction Holder For The Shower

Genius. I didn’t realise there was a solution to the inevitable razor rust.

It Has 5 Blades. 

When I read that on the package I was like ‘Pffft! Who needs 5 blades? Is that even a thing?’. Yes. It is a thing. A very, very good thing. Silky smooth, one might say.

It’s Not The Cheapest Razor At The Supermarket

The pink plastic ones are the cheapest. And that’s why I’ve had a nightmarish scar on my ankle since 2008. Just FYI, I’ve been using the Hydro for a few weeks now and I haven’t drawn blood once. That might be because I’m brand new to the world of fancy razors but I believe not bleeding is always enjoyable.

It Has Water Activitated Moisturising Serum

Serum is my favourite beauty buzz word. It’s like elixir but you don’t drink it. And it’s water activated. I love science.

Here’s what Smaggle razor winners had to say…

Kelly

Now I have to be brave here and admit that I had not shaved my legs for about 2 months before yesterday (winter long pants and opaques have allowed me to be lazy) and so the razor had a bit of a workout.  I found that the razor did a great job – blades worked together and I did not have to go over any section – blades rinsed easily – and the moisturising strip thing was great (you could actually feel it working).  The morning after is always a telling sign for me – usually my legs are quite dry but this morning they felt lovely and I can only assume that it was the moisturising strip.  I would definitely recommend this razor to others – and the suction cup holder for the razor was a great added bonus!

Lisa 

After a winter of significant neglect, I wondered whether the shaver could Tame my hairy legs.
It did! Hurrah! Suddenly I could see smooth skin again.
It was a revelation.
Spring here I come.

Fiona

I loved it on my legs, perfect results.

Hayley

Quite impressed with the moisture content, 4 shaves in and it’s stillgoing strong – better than my usual Venus. I love the suction cap instead of adhesive for hanging it up, much smarter and doesn’t take up as much room as my Venus. (converted!) Also like how it moves with the curves of your leg, it’s not fixed into position.

Tell me, what’s your worst ever shaving story? Or waxing story? Or just hair removal in general?

Massive thanks to Schick for sponsoring this review. 

43 Comments

  1. Karli 12 years ago

    Worst story about hair removal, my mum telling me she gets Brazilians. Some things you just can’t unhear.

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      No one. Is worse. Than my mother. Sexual health nurse. Nuff said. x

  2. Tara 12 years ago

    You have the best taste in movies. I was just quoting Empire Records today (‘a little tribute man…’)!

  3. Gembalina 12 years ago

    When I was 15 and using a gilette daisy (pink, plastic, hideous) I took a 12cm long strip of skin right off the top of my shin.  15 years later I still have a faint scar there.  It hurt so much and bled so badly I didn’t shave my legs for about 3 months after that, and I never used a pink plastic razor again.  These days (and for a few years now) I use a schick quattro, maybe I’ll make an upgrade to the hydro when my spare shaver bits for it run out!

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      It’s pretty slick. I’ll be honest.

  4. Gembalina 12 years ago

    Also, I’M BRINGING REX HIS LUNCH!

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      I was talking to God she says ‘Yo what’s up?’ and she wants you to lose the gun.

  5. Shannon Kate 12 years ago

    About 4 months ago I decided to get all fancy and wax a heart in my pubes. 

    It didn’t go well. And it took forever to grow out.  :/

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      That’s commitment man! If wasn’t weird I’d ask for a photo.

  6. Sally Sister in law-ish 12 years ago

    One day in yr 8 a girl came to school with matching red raw cuts 3cm wide and the length of her lower leg. Nasty.

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      Oh no… poor thing pressed to hard!

  7. Katromig 12 years ago

    When I was 5 I decided to shave my face just like Dad after watching him get ready to go out. I took his razor and took a big swipe down my cheek and took off a whole lot of skin. Lesson learned- ladies don’t shave their faces!

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      Oh sweet pea. No, ladies don’t shave their faces.

  8. kel 12 years ago

    My worst story is a painful one that still brings a tear to my eye. It involves waxing which unfortunately was unintentional.

    Mum and I never sat down and had the ‘birds and bees’ talk or the period talk. All I knew about periods I learnt in Judy Blume books (unfortunately being 1990 all that stored information about pads being attached to belts was no longer so relevant).
    Therefore, the first time I got my period I decided to use pads. Simple, no? No insertion involved. Unfortunately, my sweet little 13 year old self failed to realise which side the sticky side went on. When it was time to change my pad I also got my first bikini wax. Painful AND unexpected!

  9. Nessbow 12 years ago

    Oh my goodness!  I adore Empire Records, and I too exclusively purchase pink plastic Bic razors.  

    I think my worst hair removal story occurred about three years ago, when I went to the salon to have a bikini wax.  The novice beautician managed to use wax to glue a very sensitive part of my body shut.  I had to lie there for several minutes in a state of intense anxiety while she tried to free my lady garden from the wax-trap she’d created.

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      Oh my goodness! It makes you wonder how things like that happen.

  10. Megan 12 years ago

    This is not a story as such buy this week I was enlightened about the world of brazilian laser hair removals. You need to shave before you go and apparently if you forget there is $35 shaving fee. I honestly cannot think of anything more intimate than someone shaving your lady bits! I highly doubt anyone ever forgets.

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      It’s intimate enough having someone rip all the hair from your inner labia.

  11. Helen Perris 12 years ago

    I was 14 and doing my first musical (Les Mis, playing Little Cosette) and I was in a hurry to shave my legs before rehearsal: so much of a hurry in fact, that I managed to shave off an entire strip of skin on my shin, from ankle to knee. The strip remained intact – just over 1.5cm wide and about 25cm long. I remember screaming, my mum rushing into the bathroom and me holding the strip of skin up to show her while my leg bled profusely into the bath mat. It was horrid and I’ll never forget it. I had to creatively hide my bandages in all of the program photos which were taken the next day because everyone knows they didn’t have elastoplast in 19th century France.

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      The scar I’m referring to in the post is from a cut I got on opening night of our production of Cosi! How weird that you had a similar story.

  12. Grit & Glamour™ 12 years ago

    Oh, I don’t just have a story about hair removal, I have a whole post I wrote back in 2008 when I had 14 blog readers: http://www.gritandglamour.com/2008/02/29/only-women-bleed-and-choose-to-have-their-nether-regions-electrified/

    I’m normally a three-blade Daisy kind of girl, cause it strikes a balance between cost and blood loss. Recently I branched out into a five-blader, too, when I read an ad for  the Venus with Olay that guaranteed it to be the best razor you’ve ever used. I had a coupon so I bought it and tried it out. I had many of the same revelations as you did with the Schick. My only complaints with the Venus are the price and lack of precision in the bikini area. Other than that it really was the best…it has this water-activated gooey, moisturizing slime that really is the bomb. No nicks, no cuts, but it was all over in a week. If I score another coupon, I’ll buy, but looks like the Schick, which I’ve never tried, but is less expensive here in the States, is a great alternative!

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      You’ve ruined me! I had no idea laser treatment hurt that badly. That’s one of my things I want to do when I have a decent disposable income. Sigh!

  13. Nicole Moore 12 years ago

    First of all, BEST MOVIE EVER. Every time I have a bad day at work I end up saying, “what’s with today, today?” 

    My worst hair removal experience happened when I was 13ish. I didn’t want to shave my legs so I got a bottle of Nair that came with a free sample of their new facial hair remover. So I slathered it all over my legs and decided to groom my eyebrows for the first time ever with this facial Nair. Horrible mistake. My legs were covered in a red rash for days, and my eyebrows became very thin and very, VERY far apart. I walked out of the bathroom and my older sister said, “What happened to your eyebrows?! They were perfect! You look horrible!” Lovely experience.

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      I’m terrified of that happening!

  14. Alliesm11 12 years ago

    Last year, about this time, I tried waxing my lady bits. I’ve never waxed before. I bought a Sally Hansen kit from Target and stripped down as soon as I got home. I was super excited because I had a male visitor coming that night, and I’ve never been able to get a really smooth finish when shaving. My hairs always grow back quick enough I could watch them and then I just have a five o’clock shadow and that is so unattractive.

    So I heated up the pot in the microwave, took it up to my bathroom and smeared a huge glob on, and then he knocked on the door because I have an ability to assume time stops, and was way, way behind schedule. I don’t know why I didn’t read the instructions or why I put my underwear on with a hot glob of glue stuck to my vag, but I did. And you can bet your ass I didn’t get any that night, because pulling, cutting away, and soaking down both your jeans and underwear which have now claimed a tender part of your body as an extension of themselves is a time consuming and delicate task.

    I will never wax again, because I’m far to retarded to be putting hot glue like substances on my bits. I don’t even think you’re supposed to wax that area.

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      Holy jesus. That was brilliant. Maybe stick to professionals? 🙂

  15. Nicole 12 years ago

    I basically know that movie word for word. I bonded with my husband over his knowledge and love of that movie. SO good!

    I have two equally bad shaving stories. First, being the ranga that I am, I have very fair body hair. I didn’t think I needed to shave my legs at the age of 11 because of the appearance of my hair, just because my friends let on that it was the thing to do.
    My Mother and one of my older brothers (weird, right?) would just constantly tell me that I was too young to shave my legs and there was no need because the hair was barely visible. But being the person that I am, Curiosity didn’t kill the cat. Curiosity fucked up my leg!
    I was home alone with said brother so while he was watching TV, I locked myself in the bathroom and went to work. Took my Dad’s crappy, orange handled $2 store razor that had been sitting on the side of the bath and had gotten a bit rusty -he likely hadn’t used it for months – place it dry on my dry ankle, pressed down as hard as I could and dragged the razor.  About a second or two later, blood started gushing out of my leg. I guess it might of been near something because holy crap was there a lot of blood. But I didn’t want my brother to know I’d been shaving so I just kept bundling up wads and wads of toilet paper, unsuccessfully trying to stop the bleeding.
    I eventually had to just go in and show him because it wouldn’t stop. I think he freaked out about it more than I did. Long story short, I still have the scar. I don’t shave my legs anymore. Not because of that though. Just that they were right, my hair is barely visible and I’m in the couldn’t be bothered enough to care camp when it comes to leg hair.

    My other bad shaving story was probably a few years later. Nobody told me that shaving your lady garden (especially the first time) could result in some of the most uncomfortable itchiness in a place where you really can’t scratch. Holy crap, my walk to 8th grade was horrible for weeks!

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      I don’t know how people do that. I have a friend who shaves her cooch EVERY DAY! I’m all ‘Where do you find the time?’

  16. Nicole 12 years ago

    P.S. I used to use lady razors, but I think the price difference comes down to parts that aren’t functional and instead put in place based on gender stereotypes. I now use whatever brand razor my husband buys. They’re cheaper and work – for me – just as well.
     I don’t use shaving cream of any kind when shaving my pits. But instead have found the method to which I actually shave has allowed me to go sans cuts or razor bumps. I shave with the hair growth first, wash with body wash and then shave against the hair growth.

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      Just quietly I only started buying my own razors when I moved out of home. I’d always just use my brothers to quickly swipe my pits!

  17. Amanda @ Hungry Vegan Traveler 12 years ago

    When I was 18, I tried Nair for the first time. But not on my legs… Not on my pits… My cooch. I got the specially-designed-for-the-nether-regions formula, claiming to have a “French Vanilla scent.”

    Fast forward to my frantic rushing around the bathroom, desperate to wash the evil concoction off of my lady bits, the burning putting in me into panic mode. Post-rinse off, I discovered that my hoo-ha was fire engine red. That redness lasted for THREE DAYS. 
    And nothing smelled like French Vanilla. 

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      I’m having sympathy pains in my lady garden.

  18. SwarleySteiner 12 years ago

    Empire Records, open ’til midnight….MIDNIGHT!

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      I don’t regret the things I’ve done but those I did not do!

  19. Carla 12 years ago

    Didn’t happen to me, but my older sister. She was getting a brazilian at this salon, and get this, they RAN OUT of whatever kind of fancy antiseptic swab/cream thing (?) they use before they wax you. So the waxer (hair removal technician? Idk, I don’t get ‘waxed’) decided to do it anyway. 

    I don’t know how that didn’t ring alarm bells for my sweet sister, but. She ended up with serious infection – like, had to live without underwear for a week, massive welting pores on all of her soft lady bits kind of infection. I’ll stick to my sensitive skin wax strips and hair removal cream, thanks…

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      Oh my god! I wonder what the infection was? Yuck.

  20. Jess 12 years ago

    I no longer shave any of my hairy bits because of too many scars caused by shaving accidents! It’s waxing all the way for me. 

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      I actually never shave anything but my arm pits and that’s because I can’t stand hairy armpits. I can handle legs and muff but armpits are a no go for me.

  21. Carolyn Beaumont 12 years ago

    so I’m pretty much fine with shaving the typical girl bits (legs/armpits). But men shaving freeeeeaaaakkks me out to no end (total throwback to a few very acne-prone guys in HS who also had to shave). The sound of a scraping razor against a guys face makes me need to leave the room. Even a commercial (where they totally amplify the face-scrape sound!!!) makes me cringe and hide my eyes until its over.

    • Author
      Smaggle 12 years ago

      It’s such a scratchy sound isn’t it?

  22. Anonymous 11 years ago

    Also a lady bits waxing horror story that ended in me wondering if I’d have to go to the hospital and soaking myself in hot water while trying to cut wax away from my skin. HORRIBLE. Will never attempt by myself again. Also waxing HURTS, even when done properly. I discovered I’m not so into that.

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