I’m about to be very, very brave here. I try to avoid doling out advice in areas that I have no experience in. Like parenthood. However, I have one massive gripe on that topic that I need to talk about. Here goes.
When people take their children to a public place, say a museum or a food show, most of the people there are going to be okay with their kid doing normal kid things. I get that sometimes I’ll cop a sticky hand print on my dress, or I’m going to be held up by a pram stuck in a narrow corridor, or a kid will just randomly scream bloody murder for three hours. All of this is fine because it’s out of the parents’ control. I once sat behind a couple on a flight to New York and their baby SCREAMED for 22 hours. It just did not stop. This poor woman looked like she was going to cry and kept apologising to everyone. I just kept reassuring her that it’s fine, that she was doing a fantastic job and that no one minded. Obviously it wasn’t an ideal situation but short of sedating the kid what options did she have? None. Therefore I’m logically quite okay with that scenario.
What I’m not okay with is parents allowing their children to push in. On the weekend my man and I went to a science museum with friends of ours. It was a very hands on experience with buttons to press and games and all that stuff that kids love. Twice while we were there I had a child push in front of our group. Both times the parent of the pushy child just awkwardly ignored the fact that we were standing there, clearly in line. I got an apologetic smile from one parent and a total snub from the other. We had been waiting in the line for 15 minutes. We PAID to get in to the museum while the pushy children were admitted for free. Perhaps these parents thought that adults like us should let kids skip the line, because apparently that’s what adults do.
That’s not what this adult does. This childless adult is not going to stand for that kind of bullshit. It’s not that I don’t like children. I have a niece who is the greatest human being alive and I even teach kids sometimes. I’m not a wicked witch. I’ll happily stand in line behind a six-year-old for 20 minutes while they choose what ice cream flavour to have, it’s a big decision when you’re six, but I will not tolerate kids that push in and parents who allow it. Not okay. If someone’s kid chucks a tanty and the parent gives in and buys what ever the kid wants, go for it. It doesn’t affect me at all. If a parent allows their child to treat me and other people badly they are basically grooming an adult arsehole and that does affect me.
What do you think? Legitimate gripe? Or am I just being a cranky old lady?
25 Comments
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Fair enough complaint 🙂
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This is totally legit, and I’m glad you posted it. Personally, I am so tired of the sense of entitlement these young mums have. As you noted, when something is happening beyond their control, and they are managing the best they can, so be it. But just the other day I had a one park her trolley smack in the middle of an aisle at Target and she watched me try to shimmy by and did absolutely nothing to move it. They just have this sense of, “I’m a MUM, and because I popped a couple kids out, I must be allowed to do ANYTHING I want.”
Women have been popping out kids (with less help, hand-holding, and drama than modern mums) for centuries. Like you, I have a niece and nephew I adore and have spent a lot of time with, so I’m no kid-hater. But this generation of whingeing mums—who don’t even have to hand wash a single nappy, yet think they have it so tough—and their horrifically spoiled offspring make me very, very, very irritated.
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Totally agree with you, after years of being an ECE teacher and now a Mama to One Darling Dinosaur, 10months. I am trying to raise a considerate human, kids do annoying things but some things are not o.k and need to be addressed. Taking turns is important and fair!
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Totally fair gripe. I think part of your responsibility as a parent is to teach your children appropriate behaviours and these parents are clearly not modelling manners at all.
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Valid complaint. And it’s so easily rectified. Telling a kid to wait their turn and talking to them while they wait, why is that so hard?
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Totally fair gripe but the most frustrating thing is not being able to call the parent on their shit. Imagine saying ‘Your kid just pushed in! No fair!’ you’d come across as the biggest sook.
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awesome post… totally agree, a lot of these precious little darlings become the buttheads we see and have to work with everyday. Just this morning a group of girls pushed through a VERY crowded train and were vocal about their intentions and I suggested if they simply said excuse me we’d all be happier and lots of other adults agreed. Exactly what are parents teaching their children about manners?
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This is absolutely too legit to quit. I have two kids and would absolutely NOT stand for that B.S.
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I’m not an aggressive person at all – but pushing in INFURIATES me. It’s the one thing that will cause me to pick an argument with a complete stranger, even if they are bigger and meaner- looking than me. I’ve never had a child push in front of me, but I think I would have to say something to the parents.
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Legitimate gripe. I was at my local this morning getting a coffee and there was two women there with three kids. The mum with two kids handed $10 to one of hers and told her to go with the others and pick a cookie each. Then the kid that did not have a sibling there pushed in front of me and the mother of two pulled the kid back explaining that he had to “wait behind the lady who was about to order”. That little boy’s mum then grabbed the other mum and said she’d appreciate if she did not discipline her son. The mother of two looked exactly how I felt. Extremely confused.
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I agree. Last year I was at a convention, waiting in line to have my picture taken with The Delorean (as you do). I’d been waiting for ages, and this woman comes up to me with her son and tries to push in. I pointed out that there was a queue and she replied, “Oh, but you wouldn’t mind if he goes first, he’s only six”. To which I replied, “Yes, I do mind”. She looked at me and shook her head, and angrily marched away.
Turn-taking and patience are two really important life skills that kids should start learning early. You don’t get to cut in line just because you’re little.
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I agree! I have a shop and I am amazed how people have children but don’t seem to want to parent them. Last week a mother complained to me that she had to pick up her son from daycare because he had conjunctivitis after she had just let him try on all our sunglasses (!?) 🙁
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Oh man, you know how I feel about this crap, this is totally legit!! I would never let my 3 year old do that, nor would I when he is 6, 9 or any age! And if he took it upon himself to be a pain in the butt, I don’t just pretend like it’s his right as a child and expect a free pass for bad behaviour. And I really freakin hate it when I am lined up somewhere WITH MY CHILD and other parents decide to push in front of us, because I already have a kid, I understand how busy and important they must be….wtf? Not ok! Wait your turn like everyone else!! Ok, rant over…
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I’m a Mum and this irks me no end. I don’t expect special treatment, and I don’t expect it for my child when she’s old enough (she’s only 10 months so can’t queue jump presently – can’t even stand). Just because you have a kid doesn’t mean you have some divine right to go first. Kids should be taught respect and manners from a very young age.
On the flip side, there are heaps of things non-parents (or parents without kids in tow) do that really irk me. Try waiting at the airport for 15 minutes while some inconsiderate idiot (sans baby) uses the only baby change room in the terminal as a toilet. Happened to us on Monday. Try waiting for ages while perfectly able bodied people use the lifts and won’t get out when there is a perfectly good escalator next to it (which I can’t use because of the pram), or despite you waiting for ages for a lift to come along with enough room for your pram, sneak in ahead of you into the lifts. So yeah, it can go both ways… Kids and parents aren’t the only ones who can be inconsiderate.
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Little tip Kitty, try going in backwards to the lift. That lets you stand close to the lift doors, but to the side to let people get off, and still makes it easy for you to step straight on as soon as you can, pulling the pram after you. Press the button for your floor as you step in, and you’re sweet!
I saw this exact thing happen just a few weeks ago in Myer and was in awe at the smoothness of it all.
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I feel like you’re being restrained. I have a long list of things parents let their children do in public that irks me. 😉
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Totally legit. And as a parent let me add- when I’m telling my child to stop being obnoxious or to follow my orders, dont tell me “it’s ok, I don’t mind,” and encourage my darling 2 year-old to be a brat. I MIND, and I’m trying to raise a decent human.
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I agree with you Marie. Would you stupid non-parents please stop undermining me when I am trying to reinforce the very good manners I have taught my daughter?
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AGREED!!! There are just so many terrible parents out there, I have seen so many instances where parents encourage their children to push in aswell! I don’t know, I’ve just started to generally dislike kids the older I get as I start to notice the bad behavior more than I used to. For example, out grocery shopping with a friend there was this woman with her daughter in the next aisle, and her daughter looked at my friend and then loudly declared to the entire checkout area “LOOK AT THAT BIG FAT WOMAN GETTING ALL OF THAT FOOD TO EAT”. Just says how much of a f*cking bitch that girls mother must be if her child is already judging those around her like that! Anyway, I have far toooooo many instances of strangers children behaving badly to list, so I definately agree you have a very valid point!
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fully legit! I’m a mum and I try to teach my kids to take turns and wait in line. It’s my job.
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Completely legitimate, and I have to say, I would have said something. It would have been nice, and with a smile, but pushing in is not cool.
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Not even close to being cool, just dam rude. My Miss is 3, and if she happens to forget her manners, her father and I remind her! There are too many parents who just shrug at their childs horrid behaviour. Children need to learn social graces, otherwise they will grow to be a rudearse, selfish and very lonely adults.
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Basically, if that had been me as a kid, you would not have received an apologetic from either of my parents.
Why you ask?.
Because, I would have had my arse kicked (verbally, not physcially!) for being so goddamn rude and my parents would have made ME apologise to yourself and your group for pushing in.
Oh and it would not have happened again.
I see less and less of this these days and it really, really pisses me off.
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Oops, apologetic smile****
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It’s all about being mindful and not a Sociopath-my favorite word at the moment. Whether they have kids or not ( people using kids loo’s while my 3 year old is about to wet herself is a lovely) people need to realise you are not entitled to anything you have to be mindful and aware. Taking turns and waiting is as important in a line to push buttons as it is when you stop a red light or a traveling on a road. We all have something to do, somewhere to go and places to be. Why are you more important than me? ( rhymes Dr Seuss style.)
