I left a message on a friend’s Facebook wall yesterday saying how I thought her relatively new boyfriend was really hot. She was pretty pleased.
Then about an hour afterwards (because retrospective worrying is like, my most favourite thing), I started questioning whether or not she really was pleased. I don’t think she could have been angry or threatened but she might have thought it was a touch unnecessary. Which is totally true. Me slapping my admiration of her hot lover on her Facebook wall is pretty pointless and possibly a little bit weird but I comforted myself with the thought that she knows Ben and knows we’ve been together forever and I didn’t mean it in a creepy ‘Imma steal your boyfriend!‘ way, I was just saying he’s a cutie. I then realised that I had given myself a weird immunity because I’m in a relationship. Which is really silly, because a single girl doesn’t want to steal her man anymore than I do but for some reason it feels like because I’m seriously attached, that gives me some kind of right to go around casually declaring that I think my girlfriend’s men are total spunk rats. I’m not sure if I’d comment in the same way if I was single… because that would be a bit weird wouldn’t it?
The thing is… I don’t know. I can’t remember if I ever did that when I was single. Well, not to their face(book wall) anyway.
It also makes no difference to me who says they think Ben is hot. I’ve had it from attached women, old men, gay guys, single ladies. A family friend once said she loves Ben’s butt and that it’s like two firm oranges. I agree and I’m quite chuffed that someone else noticed. So I’m wondering if this odd paranoia I have that everyone thinks I’m a dirty perve is all in my head and that most women, like me, are genuinely pleased if someone points out that their significant other is a bit of alright.
Do you think it’s okay to compliment other women on how hot their partner is? Do you think it makes a difference if you’re single or not? If a woman told you that your partner was hot would you care? Would it make a difference if she was single?
19 Comments
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Eh. It all depends on the commenter to me. There are some people to whom I’d respond, “I KNOW, RIGHT?!” and others I’d give the stink eye. It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with their singledom, but what I think of them as people in the first place. If there’s evidence that you’re a ginormous flirt who flits from one guy to the next, I might be suspicious of your intentions. Otherwise, I see no harm in making such a statement. Everyone likes compliments!
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I agree! My mother does it so often that our family friend’s grown up children call her Aunty Pervy.
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It depends – I’ll tell friends that their new partners are cute and they’ll say the same about mine and that’s just a nice compliment, but when a drunk stranger came up to me at a festival once and told me how hot my then-boyfriend was I felt irritated. Mind you, that could have been more to do with the (badly behaved) boyfriend than anything else…
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True… a badly behaved handsome one can be an issue.
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I think that if it is a new bf and an old friend who said something like, “Oh he’s cute, where’d you find him?” kind of thing, I’d be pretty pleased, because she’s just reaffirming my good taste. But if it’s a boyfriend I’m in a long term relationship with, and all of the sudden an old friend starts mentioning that she thinks he’s a babe, then I’d be a little more territorial because it’s much more out of the blue and kind of shady.
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True that would be weird. I would never say that about my old friends who have been with their partners for ages.
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Yes! I love hearing people tell me my boyfriend is hot. But then it happens quite a lot, him being a famous movie star and all.
Oh… sorry…. are we talking about husbands too?
Because that’s cool as well.-
People tell me my boyfriend is hot ALL the time, and I don’t mind.
(He just turned 40, is a famous rapper.)
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Your boyfriend is sexy as hell. And he shares my birthday. Which means that clearly we are soulmates. Sorry, Eden.
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Ladies. Eminem is for sharing. x
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Kerri’s boyfriend Simon Baker is hot. That’s hardly opinion though, just a simple fact.
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lol – Eminem? Rawr!
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If heard rumours that your hubby is really hot… so…
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May be a little controversial, but I’d love to hear whether people think it’s ok for gay guys to use their ‘gay-immunity’ to say stuff like, “your boyfriend is super hot and I would like to do *insert x-rated homosexual activity here*, *here* and *here* to him”. Sure, my boyfriend is delicious, and is a sensitive type so girls and boys (of any age) always love him. Which is great and I don’t mind hearing about it! But if a girlfriend of mine told me about freaky sexual fantasies she had about my boyfriend, I would get pretty pissed and ask her what her deal is. I’ve had this from a few close gay guy mates (usually when drinking), and I have to say it really shits me. They think Im being uptight because my boy is not gay, so there is no chance, so theres no problem, right? But I’m pretty non-discriminatory about gay/straight, it’s all just a big sexual blur, so reckon it’s pretty disrespecful no matter what gender/sexual barriers are in place. Am I being silly? Usually laugh it off and make a smartarsed comeback about them being horny ferals and to find their own boyfriend, but I actually want to get a bit Beyonce on their arse and tell them to watch their mouths…I don’t know whether they would think I was being a psycho?? I don’t actually feel threatened that they will steal him or that he would stray (particularly across the sexual fence), but it just annoys me…
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Oh good question! Going to re-post on Facebook to see what other people think!
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No problem with me at all. In fact if you didn’t say that my man is a spunk rat then I’d be pretty annoyed. I’d be like “Girlfriend, can you not see his sexiness??? Sheesh”. Also, I don’t think I’ve used the word “sheesh” before.
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Your man is SUCH a dreamboat though. You must get it ALL the time and therefore are rightly miffed when someone pretends to not notice… now that I think about it I think I told you I thought he was hot when I met him! At that bar after Kidspot? When were drinking all the pink alcohol?
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You could say I have double standards, but I think there is a limit to when saying such a thing is appropriate or not! If you are good friends – then I think YES! I always tell my friends if I think their new boyfriend is hot and I don’t think twice about it, and I don’t think they do either. And when they tell me that mine is – it’s fine. Providing they are a real friend and not someone I’ve only met a handful of times. Like this one aquaintence who said that she would love to paint a portrait of my partner because of how attractive he is. Needless to say that I no longer speak to her because I feel she was talking out of term. I thought what she said was pretty damn creepy for starters.
If a strange woman comes up to me and starts telling me how attractive my boyfriend is when he is right next to me… I just want to f*cking kill her. That sort of behaviour is SO not on, it’s threatening and frankly she may as well be saying “I want to suck your boyfriends diiiiickkkkk.”
This happened recently and this woman who was in her 50s probably (so she should have known better and what the f*ck was she thinking anyway) was all “oh you are so lucky to have such a good looking boyfriend.” And then went on to question my boyfriends heritage and ect. All while we were having lunch in the city. And the whole time I was thinking – WHAT AM I, CHOPPED LIVER? Am I that fugly that I have to put up with some stranger telling me how “lucky” I am to have an attractive partner?I still think of this encounter and boil with rage because I was just so insulted. So yes, as you can see, I have very strong feelings about this issue, but only if such a comment comes from strangers.
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You could say I have double standards, but I think there is a limit to when saying such a thing is appropriate or not! If you are good friends – then I think YES! I always tell my friends if I think their new boyfriend is hot and I don’t think twice about it, and I don’t think they do either. And when they tell me that mine is – it’s fine. Providing they are a real friend and not someone I’ve only met a handful of times. Like this one aquaintence who said that she would love to paint a portrait of my partner because of how attractive he is. Needless to say that I no longer speak to her because I feel she was talking out of term. I thought what she said was pretty damn creepy for starters.
If a strange woman comes up to me and starts telling me how attractive my boyfriend is when he is right next to me… I just want to f*cking kill her. That sort of behaviour is SO not on, it’s threatening and frankly she may as well be saying “I want to suck your boyfriends diiiiickkkkk.”
This happened recently and this woman who was in her 50s probably (so she should have known better and what the f*ck was she thinking anyway) was all “oh you are so lucky to have such a good looking boyfriend.” And then went on to question my boyfriends heritage and ect. All while we were having lunch in the city. And the whole time I was thinking – WHAT AM I, CHOPPED LIVER? Am I that fugly that I have to put up with some stranger telling me how “lucky” I am to have an attractive partner?
I still think of this encounter and boil with rage because I was just so insulted. So yes, as you can see, I have very strong feelings about this issue, but only if such a comment comes from strangers. (Sorry if this posted twice, half of the time I comment my comments don’t show up..)
