Relationships 101: How To Be An Awesome Partner.by Carly Jacobs
Sometimes I feel like a complete tool writing about my relationship because it’s so humble braggy. My boyfriend rocks but there’s something that makes me want to apologise for it. When I talk about Mr Smaggle on the blog and on social media I generally try to keep it light and funny to stop people from vomiting in their mouths over their morning coffee. I’m just super considerate like that. People are always telling Mr Smaggle and I how lucky we are to have each other and I completely agree. However we put heaps of work into our relationship and I’d hate for anyone to think that what we have is effortless. It occurred to me that no one really sees what goes behind our closed doors so I thought it was time to share a few things that I believe make our relationship so damn pleasant and might just help you get your relationship back to happy dance level.
Don’t Be So Serious All The Time
You have to have a laugh. Every day. For example, you know that moment when you turn on the tap in the shower and wait for the water to heat up? I use that time to do a nudie run around the house and wiggle my naked butt at Mr Smaggle. Sometimes I sing a song or just simply shriek ‘NO PANTS! NO PANTS! NO PANTS!’. It has a 100 percent laugh success rate. He likes to send me texts of piglets wearing gumboots or piles of sleeping puppies. Just try to be a bit delightful every now and then.
Hold Each Other’s Hands
Why on earth do couples ever stop holding hands? It’s lovely. Do it on the couch, in the movies, when you’re walking down the street and when you fall asleep at night. Kiss. All the time. Hug each other. Throw your legs over each other on the couch. Casual intimacy is a crucial building block for deeper intimacy.
Don’t Be A Dick
I’m often quite horrified by couples that I see out and about and the way they talk to each other. I heard a guy say to his girlfriend in the supermarket ‘Oh for f*cks sake! You’re a f*cking nightmare!‘ when she said she didn’t like sweet potato. Dude. I’m sure there’s underlying issues there and she may well be a nightmare but for god’s sake don’t be such a dick. There’s no need to ever speak to your partner like that. You can disagree but never resort to name calling. It’s really hard to recover from a fight where you called your girlfriend a bitch or your boyfriend an asshole. Mr Smaggle and I have had disagreements obviously but we’ve never, not once gone down the petty name calling path. It’s nasty. Don’t go there.
Get Each Other’s Rocks Off
Sex is rad but when you’ve been together for a while it can often take a backseat to everyday life. You don’t need to be jumping each other’s bones seven days a week but a sneaky couch shag on a Wednesday night or a quickie in the kitchen before dinner can be such a little life boost. Come on, it’ll take 15 minutes on a good day. If you have time to watch half an episode of Home and Away, you have time to pleasure the pants off your partner.
Be Away From Each Other Sometimes
I once went to a hen’s night where one of the bridesmaids brought her boyfriend. Yes, you read that correctly. He was so bored, she had to babysit him all night and it totally changed the tone of the evening. Mr Smaggle and I rarely socialise together. Quite a few of my girlfriends are single and I love nothing more than having a few drinks and a natter with them on the weekend. It would bore Mr Smaggle to tears if I made him come. As much as my girlfriends love him, they love him even more if he drops me off at their place and then goes home. His idea of a perfect evening is to stay in with his mates and play video games. Yawn. We’ll often have an early dinner together on a Friday evening and then go our separate ways afterwards. Then we snuggle into bed later with cups of tea and tell each other about our fabulous evenings. It’s way better than either of us tagging along after the other one and having a mediocre Friday night. We spend heaps of time together alone so we don’t feel the need to be each other’s handbags all the time. Try it, it’s remarkably freeing.
Be Kind To Each Other
Sometimes I hear couples complain about having to do things for their partners, like pick them up from the airport or go to the chemist when they’re sick. Often it’s the little things that they would do for their friends without a moments hesitation but the second their partner needs a favour it turns into a giant inconvenience. I find this completely bizarre. If your partner asks you nicely to make them a cup of tea and they’ve made you one in the not too distant past, make them a damn cup of tea. Even if you’re pissed off about something else. Make them a cup of tea because it’s very nice and pleasant to do things like that. Geez.
Ask Them How Their Day Was
Do it every day. Even giving your partner ten minutes of air time at the end of the day will make them feel appreciated and important. I cannot tell you how much better our evenings are when we’ve taken the time to talk about our days with each other.
This is just stuff that’s worked for me and Mr Smags but I know that every couple is different.
So tell me…