Screen Shot 2013-08-05 at 11.55.09 AM

Image

You feel inexplicably tired whenever you spend time with them.

That horrible, slightly hungover feeling you get from spending all afternoon being aurally attacked by your friend who’s giving you a blow by blow of a hideous three day ‘relationship’ she had five years ago but is still obsessing over.

You often end up apologising for their bad behaviour.

Like that time you had to apologise to your whole family at your own wedding because your toxic friend spent the day hitting on your cousin’s wife and then puked in the backseat of your Dad’s convertible.

A text message from them will render you paralized with fear…

… and you have to carefully control your face in public, in case she’s lurking around a corner, ready to pounce on you for grimacing at her name on the screen.

They have no ambitions.

Like your mate from high school who for no real reason doesn’t have a job, still lives at home with his parents and is in no hurry to do anything other than play Xbox all day and borrow money from you.

You spend lots of time with them, yet they know nothing about what’s going on in your life.

You know exactly how many freckles her new boyfriend has on his back yet she isn’t even aware that you just bought your first home. Also you’ve told her. Twice.

You’ve never really felt like you can trust them.

There always seems to be way less beer in your fridge when your mate has been over to your house and you’re pretty sure he’s been dealing drugs in your driveway.

Everything you do is wrong.

Like that time you dared to actually go to work on the day your toxic friend got a bad spray tan, instead of holding her hand and stroking her all day like you were supposed to.

Have you ever had a toxic friend? What warning signs did you see?