What’s Your Relationship Deal Breaker?

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Once, in my not-too-distant relationship past, I had a guy pull a Ted Mosby on me. For those of you not well-versed in How I Met Your Mother, the Urban Dictionary defines “doing a Mosby” as “telling someone romantically involved with you that you are in love with them, completely out of the blue”. For Ted, this was on his first date with Robin. Her reaction was to freak out and call a stop to the relationship – leading to the rest of the definition: “… making them be completely repelled by you in any romantic way”.

My fellow let it slip after only a couple of dates but, unlike Robin, I didn’t freak out and it wasn’t the end of the relationship. I chose to laugh it off. We’d both had a bit to drink and it was in the heat of … the moment… and I knew that it was accidental and that he didn’t really mean it, so I let it go (with some gentle mockery). He was pretty embarrassed, but he apologised and we got over it. I figured it was really just his way of saying that he really liked me and was enjoying himself. No harm, no foul.

When I told one of my besties this story recently, she said, horrified “I wouldn’t even have bothered to throw his jocks after him as I shoved him out the front door. Total deal breaker”. She followed up by saying that a premature “I love you” was up there with being rude to her mum, excessive back hair or a drug habit.

Everyone has relationship dealbreakers, it’s just whether they’re acknowledged or not. Those things that you just can’t abide in a potential partner. Some of them are pretty universal: infidelity, lying, non-existent personal hygiene, abuse, wanting to control your every move. These are things that no one should accept in a mature, equal relationship.

Outside of the big ones though, deal breakers can be very personal. My deal breaker list really only has three things on it: shorter than me, bad teeth and saying “I voted for Tony Abbott”. Now, I have nothing against guys who are under 5’6” or who weren’t blessed with perfect dental genes (or the thousands to pay an orthodontist to replicate them). But when I look at my man, I want to look up at him. And when he smiles at me I don’t want to be thinking of Austin Powers or Cletus from the Simpsons.

While researching for this article, I came across the #icantbewithsomeone hashtag on twitter, which presented some fascinating deal breakers like “not having a freaky side”, “never gets mad at me”, “goes to church” and “has a big top lip and no bottom lip”. People want what they want…

How would you react to someone saying “I love you” too early? What’s Your Relationship Deal Breaker?

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  1. yb 3 years ago

    an underbite

    • Smaggle 3 years ago

      Interesting! Does it have to be super prounounced? Or is even a slight one a no go?

  2. Pam Power 3 years ago

    Ha! Yep I could NEVER go out with a Liberal Party voter. Same goes for a tight arse and relating to the Tony Abbott thing, anyone that is racist or homophobic.

    • Smaggle 3 years ago

      I wouldn’t even TALK to someone racist or homophobic let alone consider a relationship with them. Blergh!

  3. Pekopeko 3 years ago

    Biggest turn off, stingy bastards. Nothing worse when u end up paying for dinner or the taxi because your wallet was out first… And he lets you!

    • Smaggle 3 years ago

      Totally! Especially when it’s early days of the relationship!!!

  4. realitychickaus 3 years ago

    Big top lip and no bottom lip! Classic. Mine are on a tier system but infidelity and abuse sit right at the top…

    • Smaggle 3 years ago

      I though that one was HILARIOUS!!! My main dealbreaker is generally not being a dick.

  5. susan 3 years ago

    lack of personal hygiene

  6. Jenna 3 years ago

    Guys who can’t spell. I know that is such a judge-y snobby thing! But I just can’t tolerate it. Not knowing the correct your, you’re, their, there etc…deal breaker.

    • Courtney 3 years ago

      I’m totally with you on this – ‘knowing what words mean’ is kind of up there with ‘able to regularly wash self’ for me.

  7. Harlow 3 years ago

    Personality wise – guys who insist on paying for everything. I find it OFFENSIVE.Sorry but it IS sexist and demeaning. I can pay for my own dinner thank you so fucking much. I like my independence and as far as I’m concerned it’s an age old trick for the guy to get his obligatory after dinner fuck – so yeah, I pay for my own dinner 🙂 I don’t believe in chivalry, I find it creepy and seedy…
    I knew my partner was a keeper when he didn’t do that on our first date. He used to open doors for me but he knows not to do that now 🙂

  8. Bel 3 years ago

    Still wants chicken salt on his hot chips.

  9. Maudie279 3 years ago

    I ended a really super committed (like lifelong commitment type) relationship because he kept telling his mates he broke up with me but kept dating me in secret. Worst feeling ever.

  10. Hailz 3 years ago

    Smoking/drugs. HELL no!

  11. Nicky 3 years ago

    The one that stands out is the guy came to my flat with pre mixed gin and tonic (he had made this himself adding gin to a bottle of tonic, not even tins of pre mixers). He also wore dungarees. This was the late 80’s.


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