How to Rock Horizontal Stripes When You Have Junk in Your Trunk

How to Rock Horizontal Stripes When You Have Junk in Your Trunk

I’ve always avoided wearing horizontal stripes because I read in Vogue when I was 12 that they make you look super wide. Now that I’m a grown up I have a care factor of zero, I’ll wear whatever the damn hell I like. However I do still want to look my best so here’s a few tricks that I keep in mind when rocking the stripes so I don’t draw too much attention to my money maker. 

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Dress from ASOS * Cardigan from Country Road * Shoes from Melissa * Bag from New York * Bangles from Vietnam and India * Silver bracelets gifts from Mama Smaggle * Necklace from my grandfather * Ship ring from William Griffiths * Earrings and turquoise ring from Thailand

How to Rock Horizontal Stripes When You Have Junk in Your Trunk

Make Your Stripes Bold

If you make your horizontal stripes high contrast and bold, there’s so much going on that no one will notice that your butt looks a little wider than usual.

Wear Your Stripes With Heels

The ultimate visual slimmer. A pair of high heels will make your legs appear slimmer and more toned. They’ll also lift your butt and make your stripes work that ass. 

Go Loose

I purposefully ordered this dress a size too large because there’s nothing more unflattering than too tight stripes all stretched and distorted over an ample derrier. Do as the French do and size up. It’s a classy, comfy and flattering way to buy your clothing, especially when stripes are involved.

Give Zero F*cks

Do you want to look thin or fabulous? I know which one I’d rather. (HINT: It’s FAB-ulous!)

What are you wearing today petal? I’d like a full Claudia Kishi like description in the comments please.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about visit Kim. She’s all over it.

Carly is the founding editor of Smaggle which launched in 2007 back when blogging was weird. She has appeared in The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age, Cosmopolitan and Cleo magazines. Hoop earrings are totally her thing and she almost got run over by Myf Warhurst while out jogging one day.

8 Comments

  1. Tinawheeze 11 months ago

    Challenge accepted! Today I’m wearing a black and white polka dot dress with a pleated skirt. To brighten things up I added a red skinny patent leather belt matched with a red three-quarter sleeve blazer. Unfortunately my red shoes died in a rainstorm so a pair of cream-coloured ballet flats with bows on the toes had to suit. To top it all off are teeny diamond studs in my pierced ears. Dibbly-fresh!

    (Ok, maybe needs more accessories to be Kishi-worthy.)

    • Author
      Smaggle 11 months ago

      You’re a genius. Send me your postal address. You’ve just won comment of the week. I totally made that up but it’s a thing now and you get a prize. Why? Because fucking dibbly-fresh. That’s why.

      • Tinawheeze 11 months ago

        Comment of the week? Woohoo!

  2. Nessbow 11 months ago

    Today I’m rocking a full-length white satin vintage slip dress to combat the heat. On my feet are a pair of towering black and gold platforms from Zu that have awesome cut-outs in the soles. My fingers are covered in rings and I’ve got about a dozen bracelets jangling on my wrists. The icing on the cake is my vintage gold locket necklace : a gift from my grandfather to my grandmother on the anniversary of their first date.

  3. Erika 11 months ago

    Sad :(
    Blue jeans, dark teal t-shirt with sleeves and neck line cut to my preference (sleeves just above the elbow, v neck), black Dansko cloggie things (think hospital style), brown leather necklace, amber earrings and wedding rings. Oh, and reading glasses. Working from home seriously brings down the clothing bar. Particularly when I have to be ready for a dog to launch onto my lap at any given moment.
    On the plus side, I did brush my hair.

    • Author
      Smaggle 11 months ago

      Why sad?

      • Erika 11 months ago

        Just how little effort went into getting dressed. Today it’s an old national parks t-shirt which will be washed and then cut up and popped into the rage bag. It’s definitely bad better days!!!!

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