The 7 Habits of Truly Charming People

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou. 

It’s difficult to break down exactly what the magic formula is for being a charming person. Charming people are everywhere, I personally meet them all the time. They’re all different. Some are very boisterous and extroverted while others are quieter and tend to work their magic in more subtle ways. I’ve noticed that there are a few things that all charming people do, almost without exception.

The 7 Habits of Truly Charming People

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1. They Ask People Questions and Listen to The Replies

Charming people are always good listeners and when they ask a question, they are genuinely interested in the person’s reply. They’ll often ask additional questions and add insightful comments to the conversation as well. A charming person will never talk for 45 minutes non-stop about their super cool new training program at the gym or ask someone a question and then walk away in the middle of their answer.

2. They’re Generous With Compliments

 Charming people will find a way to compliment everyone. They might say how much they enjoyed the brownies that you made or say how much the colour of your shirt suits you. A charming person spreads the love and can find something lovely to say about everyone.

3. They Are Positive With Both Their Actions and Their Words

There’s nothing negative about charming people and you won’t hear them saying anything bad about anyone else. If it starts to rain at an outdoor party, a charming person will laugh and help the hosts move everything inside. A charming person would never grumble about their ruined hair or wet shoes in a situation like that.

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4. They Remember Your Name

It takes a bit of effort to remember a person’s name and that’s why it’s so pleasing when someone gets it right. Charming people will take the time to engage with a person they’ve just met and make sure they remember their name for next time. If a charming person happens to forget your name, they’ll be so apologetic about it that you’ll hardly even notice.

5. They Engage with Introverts

A true charmer will never allow another person to have a miserable time at a party or a gathering. A charming person will approach people who don’t appear to be involved a conversation and will have a casual chat to them. A charming person would never ignore someone else at a party, even if they’re an introvert themselves. 

6. In Conversations, They Make Someone Else The Hero

Charming people lift other people up. A charming person would never dominate a conversation by talking about themselves. They’d say something like ‘Oh hey Sarah! You have to tell everyone about that amazing guy you met when you were in Africa!’. Charming people facilitate conversation, rather than dominate it. 

7. They Make Everyone Around Them Feel Comfortable

A charming person will never let a conversation steer into negative territory. They’ll notice if someone is feeling nervous and will help to make them feel more at ease. They’ll grab a plate of food and work the room, chatting to the guests and getting to know everyone. There’s no such thing as awkward when a charming person is around.

Over to you…

Any tips on how to be charming? What qualities do you think make a person charming?

Carly is the founding editor of Smaggle which launched in 2007 back when blogging was weird. She has appeared in The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age, Cosmopolitan and Cleo magazines. Hoop earrings are totally her thing and she almost got run over by Myf Warhurst while out jogging one day.


  1. Karrine Beasley 2 years ago

    What a great list of things to aspire to be and do. I think there is also a certain x factor that truly charming people have that I can’t define or explain.

  2. Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella 2 years ago

    A great list! There are so many people that never listen to the answers of the questions that they ask. And yes learning someone’s name is a small way of making someone feel special.

  3. katypotaty 2 years ago

    Oh wow – I want to keep this list on my phone for handy reference! I do know a few charming people, and they definitely have a way of lifting others up, and they do it so easily!

  4. Al 2 years ago

    I’m good in my job because I do all those things – never mind that I can barely get my kids names straight – I make a point of remembering all the kids at our school and their parents too… I’m a high school front office chick and I like to break the stereotype! Plus in my downtime I’m a hermit :)

  5. Love this! Charming people have a sparkle about them, a joie de vivre, that just makes you want to be around them. It’s almost intoxicating!


  1. […] I aspire to this list of the 7 habits of truly charming people. […]

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