o yesterday was Mr Smaggle’s birthday and I thought I’d get all fancy pants on him and take him to a fine dining restaurant. You know the kind where there’s a $100 fee for the guy that delivered water from the Himalayas while riding a goat bareback, all the sauces are called ‘jus’ and they insist on getting you a clean glass for every new wine despite the fact that your wine drinking vessel of choice is usually the cleanest looking coffee mug at your best friend’s house.
I’m not very accustomed to the whole fine dining thing but it was such a pleasant evening, the food was great, the service was wonderful and if I ever get the hankering to drop a week’s rent on one meal again, I’ll certainly go back.
However when the bill came I got all confused about the tip situation. There’s always that pesky little space on the receipt that suggests that I should leave a tip and I can never figure out what to do. The decision stresses me out for a variety of reasons.
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1.I’ve just spent an obscene amount of money on dinner and dishing out extra money on top of that for good service feels like rewarding something that should be a basic expectation. As a consumer in a country with fair working conditions I’m just not convinced that this is necessary.
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2.Compared to most other countries we’re fairly well protected in Australia when it comes to fair pay and wages which is why everything is so expensive in general. It’s not like in the USA where the waiters live off tips because their pay is so terrible. We have things like penalty rates, overtime and minimum wage for a reason so it seems unnecessary to tip under these circumstances.
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3.People who work outside of the hospitality industry don’t get tips. When I was a teenager I worked in a newsagent and earned my $8.70 per hour which was the same as what my friend at Woolworths earned. Our mutual friend worked at a Lebanese restaurant and earned the same hourly rate but would sometimes end a shift with an extra $50 in her pocket. Which is great for her but it seems unfair when people who earn the same hourly rate cleaning toilets at shopping centres don’t get tips and they’re probably the ones that deserve the tips the most.
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4.Generally speaking, people who work in fine dining restaurants have a higher hourly rate because they’re trained in silver service and have to learn about the meals and accompanying wines. If I’m expected to tip anyone in Australia, I’d much rather tip the lovely girls at my local cheap Vietnamese takeaway who are probably working for peanuts at the family business rather than earning a higher than average hourly rate at a beautiful restaurant.
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5.I don’t know if a tip is expected in a fine dining restaurant. Do all the waiter’s roll their eyes and think I’m a tight arse when I leave? Or are tips just pleasant bonuses that occasionally happen?
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6.If I’m supposed to be tipping, how much should I tip? In the US 20 % of the bill is appropriate but dining in restaurants in Australia is ridiculously expensive compared to other countries in the world. 20% of last night’s bill was not an insignificant amount of money.
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7.Is it possible to tip too low? Popping an extra $10 or $20 on the table sometimes feels a bit lame. Is it better to not tip at all than to tip an insulting amount?
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I’m genuinely very curious about this because it causes me a lot of grief whenever I go to a semi-fancy restaurant.
What’s the general consensus on this? Does anyone else find tipping as stressful as I do?
33 Comments
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If the waiter or waitress has been really lovely I will usually leave $20- I figure I’m already spending so much money an extra $20 isn’t too much skin off my nose, but I’m sure will be appreciated by the server. As you say, our pay conditions don’t warrant leaving a large tip, so I think $20 is a perfectly fine amount (unless you have, say, been part of a rowdy table of 10+ people- then I would leave more!). Also the criteria for me tends to vary. I expect the service to be top notch already in a fine dining restaurant, so I only leave a tip if any of my dining companions (or myself) have been a bit painful to deal with (imo, haha) or we were in a large group and the server managed that really well, or they had a really nice attitude and were really friendly and chatty and went above and beyond the norm.
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I always do that too if I’m in big group of people. I would leave $20 but then I’m never sure if that’s a lame amount or not or where the tip is going. It’s all so confusing!
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I’m not a fan of tipping unless the service is exceptional. I would love to get some tips, at the end of some days teaching I feel I deserve it!!!
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I know right? I’m a sometimes teacher too and after a bad day I would LOVE a tip!
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I’m really anti-tipping for a few reasons.
the first and most obvious is what you mentioned – waiters are paid fairly here and the price of eating out reflects that.
the second thing is that because tipping isn’t officially a ‘thing’ here, you don’t know what’s happening to your tip – it’s not necessarily going straight to your waiter. I worked at a smallish but good neighbourhood restaurant in Canberra where the boss would put all tips in a locked box for the whole YEAR and they would be divided up equally between whoever worked the New Year’s Eve shift. A friend’s boss would take all the tips ‘to put towards the Christmas party’. A lot of places split the tips between the staff at the end of the week but there can be a lot of disagreement over who is entitled to a share… is it the entire restaurant staff including kitchen, just the servers, only full timers…? As you said, it’s so weirdly arbitrary who gets tipped and who doesn’t.
Finally, studies have shown that as much as Americans like to think they tip based on service, there are overwhelming trends towards the gender, age and appearance of the person which means that a young white female waitress is paid significantly more than say, an older asian male waiter doing exactly the same job. It’s a discriminatory system of payment.
sorry for the mini rant, I just reeeeeally don’t want a full tipping culture to develop in Australia! Freakonomics did a great podcast episode on this, you can listen to it or read the transcript at the bottom of the page here: http://freakonomics.com/2013/06/03/should-tipping-be-banned-a-new-freakonomics-radio-podcast/-
I totally agree, I don’t want a tipping culture here either and I LOVE Freakonomics. I’ve seen a similar experiment done with people applying for jobs and the most physically attractive person usually gets the job.
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I’ve never tipped and never will. I don’t get tipped in my job [aged care] and I’m fairly low paid considering what I do and the study I’ve done for my job but I figure, if I’m not happy with my pay, I can look for another one [outside the field obviously because the industry is shockingly paid, a bit like childcare]. It’s not up to my clients to ‘top up’ my pay and I don’t believe it’s up to me to do the same for restaurant workers.
We’re heading to Hawaii next year and I’m already dreading the eating out situation because chances are, we aren’t going to tip unless the service is EXCEPTIONAL and even then I think it will take some convincing to get Guv to tip, so I’m thinking we’ll be visiting most places only once lol!
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I really don’t mind tipping in countries where it’s the norm particularly countries in Asia where it costs be so little to tip but means so much to the person who’s receiving the tip. I totally agree though, people who work in professions like yours deserve tips and don’t them so why should people who work in fancy restuarants get them?
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Oh wow. Rach, I beg of you. Please tip your servers in the US. If you go to another country you MUST abide by their customs. I can’t emphasize this enough. In the US, it is not only expected, but it is all but MANDATORY to tip 15-20% of the bill for your server unless you have been given truly abhorrent service. Servers in the US makes NO MONEY per hour. Actually, it’s about $2 and it gets eaten by taxes. Whether or not you tip them, they have to “Tip out” their busboys, bartender, and kitchen staff 10% of their earnings. So if you do not tip them THEY WILL BE PAYING FOR YOU TO HAVE EATEN. Whether or not you agree with the way the US handles their servers, it is UNETHICAL of you to eat at a restaurant without tipping properly. Meals are priced accordingly in the US as well.
If you do not want to tip your server DO NOT EAT OUT.
And ESPECIALLY in Hawaii, where the servers depend on tourists like yourself to raise their family, you MUST tip.
And yes, as a server in the US, you are absolutely rolling the dice – it’s a total crapshoot about what kind of money you’ll make each night. But don’t punish them because things aren’t that way in your country. That’s how nasty stereotypes of other countries get started. I know I DREADED getting Canadian or Chinese tables when I used to be a server at a fine dining restaurant- it would be 2 hours of me being my most gracious, kind, helpful self, giving them true over-the-top hospitality, praying for a miracle, and being left with $5 on a $200 bill. (Doing the math on this, I paid $15 for them to eat)
Your friend in hospitality, Abby
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Thanks so much for sharing Abby. I’m definitely a tipper when I’m overseas for those precise reasons. It’s really no skin off my nose though because a fancy pants meal in the US could cost me $100 at the most and in Australia you wouldn’t get change from $250 for 2 people, so I get a giant saving anyway!
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Sorry Abby but tipping is only mandatory in the US in some restaurants on some occasions when there are large parties, i.e. 6 or more. And just to clarify, servers in the US do make an hourly wage. And all US states have a minimum wage and it is well over $2 an hour. Also, I would like to clarify that as a former waitress I know you are to tip out your bus boys, bartenders based on the TIPS you earned.
Tipping is always optional (maybe an exception is large parties). Even in the US.
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This isn’t all true – while servers do make an hourly wage, it is far below the minimum wage for other types of work determined by the state. Waitstaff are exempt from defined standard minimum wages.
The statement about tipping out isn’t true either – while this may have been the case for you, not every restaurant/state does it this way.
There’s also a difference between legally mandated and socially obligatory. This definitely falls into the latter category. If I were on a date with someone, or out with friends and they did not tip (or did not tip well) I would seriously reconsider that friendship, as that is ignorance and dismissal of the quality of life of another person.
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“This isn’t all true – while servers do make an hourly wage, it is far below the minimum wage for other types of work determined by the state. Waitstaff are exempt from defined standard minimum wages.”
In what United States’ state is this not true?
“The statement about tipping out isn’t true either – while this may have been the case for you, not every restaurant/state does it this way.”
No restaurant would ever require that you pay out others more than you are making.
“There’s also a difference between legally mandated and socially obligatory.”
Somewhat agree. Legal vs “Socially obligatory”. The latter is up for personal judgment.
“If I were on a date with someone, or out with friends and they did not tip (or did not tip well) I would seriously reconsider that friendship, as that is ignorance and dismissal of the quality of life of another person.”
Good for you.
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I must echo the sentiments of Abby! I waited tables all through college and you pretty much live off your tips. Hourly pay was very, very minimal. I worked at a nicer Italian restaurant where the tips were fairly good, and I also worked at a country club doing weddings. As an event server, you should make tips but any $ that the hosts of the event gave to the head server were NOT distributed to us. She kept them for herself, it was really uncool.
And to Rach who is going to Hawaii, they definitely need the tourist dollars there and you should tip. I’ve been to Hawaii twice and loved it so much both times. The food and the service was indeed exceptional, but all sit-down restaurants (not take-away) expect you to tip. I generally tip 20%. And Carly, I had no idea that fine dining in Australia was so pricey! $100 is about standard for a fancy meal out unless you are super swank and doing bottle service/wine pairings and multiple courses.
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If the service was good, for sure… If not, absolutely not. I get your point about fine dining though, once you have spent a lot it makes it difficult. Just leave the left overs of what ever everyone chucks in, or maybe a gracious and sincere thank you if just a couple. Tight? Not sure.
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I’m a big fan of leaving the left overs from a chip in dinner in a group, I think that’s good manners. When it’s just my partner and I though it feels a little unessessary. Also leaving a cash tip is very different to writing an amount on the credit card receipt. It requires too much brain effort. Don’t like!
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Adam and I usually leave 10%, a little more if we really liked the service, a little less if we didn’t. It would have to be pretty bad for us to leave nothing, like if we’d had to send something back (which, by the way, I’m absolutely ok with doing!).
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You know I don’t think I’ve ever sent any thing back to the kitchen… although I don’t usually notice when food is bad. Like I know if something is off, but if it’s just not a particularly good version of the thing I’m eating, I rarely notice until someone points it out.
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I don’t have any solutions but I do commiserate. My mother-in-law lived in Australia for several months and we’re all from the US. It was very hard for her to figure out whether to tip or not. When we visited for a week, we also had a difficult time especially while fine dining because the service was not amazing. She said that she often experienced a less than attentive server besides that experience. I’m curious to read what other people say, especially people living in Australia. It’s one of those difficult things traveling abroad where you want to get it right and not insult anyone.
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I always tip in the US because it’s the done thing and it’s much more affordable to be able to do that. We certainly got into the habit of giving less for mediocre service though. It seems like it’s really not much of a thing in Australia at all, which I’m grateful for because the cost of living here is appalling!
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I’ve worked as a waitress, got a few tips and it was great! Never expected it though. When I tip I always sneak it to the person, I don’t want it to go into a tips jar. Not sure if tipping is right or wrong to be honest!
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Totally, if I get a particularly amazing waiter I’ll always make sure it goes right to them. It’s the big pot situations where the good waiters miss out!
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I’m just commiserating as well… Tipping for waiters in Canada is the norm, but we don’t have the same rules as the US for paying wait staff, so they’re making at least minimum wage and tips are an added bonus. Thing is, like you said, for anyone else who offers a service, this isn’t the practice for them. (I’m a freelance web developer. I do a service, I do a good job, but I don’t get tips). I don’t usually do the fine dining thing, so the tips aren’t usually a break the bank total, but I do tend to tip based on service. If the service is atrocious, my tip will reflect that, and I’ve left a note on more than one occasion so the waiter knows what my issues were. But my tip will reflect exceptional service as well…
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I actually really love the idea of leaving a note for waitresses! Pleased to hear that Cananda have a minimum wage like Australia! I’m the same as you – freelance writer and blogger – and no one ever gives me tips! 🙂
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That’s a really lovely idea Laurie – I must remember that for future 🙂
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I always tip $20 or so at cocktail bars if the bartender/waiter has been particularly delightful and made great drinks. I got into the habit when I was overseas but in Australia I *ONLY* tip bar staff since from my experience, the staff at places that are regarded to be “fine dining” are generally dicks who roll their eyes when I mispronounce “thyme”.
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I generally do the same thing but it’s usually because I’m tipsy and feeling generous! 🙂
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I agree with you Carly – hospitality staff in Australia are paid at least a minimum wage, which is better than most places in the world. And I expect that if I go to a place where customer service is part of the job – be it a restaurant or a department store – I expect to receive at least a basic level of common courtesy and job competence.
As a rule, if the service is good and I’m paying cash I’ll round up to the nearest $10 and leave the change; if the service and/or food is exceptional I leave an extra $10-20 depending on how generous I’m feeling and how flush I am that week. If I’m paying by credit card I generally just pay the bill then maybe leave a little something in cash. But it has to be above and beyond what I would expect from a place for me to do that.
Conversely if the service or food has been bad you can bet damn sure that I’ll have something to say about that and there will be no tip! In certain circumstances I have asked for an offending dish (eg incorrect order brought more than once, under or over cooked, or not as specified in the menu / by the wait staff) to be removed from the bill before I pay.
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I’m the same if I’m paying cash, I round up and leave tip if the service was great or the food was particularly amazing which is weird because would chefs even get tips? Same if we’re on a large table of people and there’s left over after we all chipped in.
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I don’t tip and I really don’t care what the staff think. Okay, I might round up. And if I’m in a big group, I always leave extra because I figure it’s a PITA for staff having to deal with that.
A bit off topic but one of my biggest peeves is when you go out as a group — for a work thing esp, and everyone rounds up their owings to tip but the organiser collects all the money then doesn’t pay, not even their share of the bill but uses the tip money to cover it. Wrong. So wrong.
Btw, this probably isn’t as relevant nowadays with PIN credit cards but a friend who worked in hospitality told me that if I pay by card and there’s a space for the tip, to make sure I put something (a cross or whatever) in that space and put the total at the bottom again. Otherwise staff can put their own tip on the receipt after you’ve signed it.
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I’m a fine dining waitress and yes I get paid a casual award wage. But I get no sick leave or holiday pay and really only get 25 hours a week in work if I’m lucky. In any other job you would get more hours or better still full time wages. Most people who can afford to dine with us tip 10%, we do get irregular diners who don’t tip however. I’m really grateful for the people who do tip because I wouldn’t earn a living wage otherwise as our restaurant is open from 6pm and I’m usually clocked off by my manager by 11.
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Tipping is a false economy and has been one of the great tricks to disguise the actual level of GDP and economic wealth that American has been representing for all these years.
Put simply: GDP and economic health / currency comparisons focus on the sum of the average of a shopping basket of all the goods and services in the economy comparing with others in a debit and ‘credit state’ market place. If a large part of the economy (i.e the service sector) is made to seem 15% cheaper and more competitive than actually is (because of an unwritten social agreement) then we are essentially cooking the books be understating the price at a restaurant, which over time would eventually lead to a bubble burst.
Be transparent. Be vigilant of false economies and tricks to misdirect and deceive. Put it back on the employer to pay the fair market rate – after all, waitpersons can’t be expected to run round kissing everyone’s behind to maintain good employer relations and get paid.
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Do not tip in anywhere Australia, yes – even at a fancy restaurant.
I was paid very well for many years in hospitality in Melbourne, this was all prior to the recent media exposure about illegal underpayment of hospo staff.
I never expected anyone to tip, but they sure did. I actually felt bad for the kitchen staff who only got a small cut.
I never had any respect for my tip money and used to waste it every week, buying beers and getting Ubers home instead of using PT.
Because I had no respect for that tip envelope every week (my paid income was good), I became a very wasteful person. Buying crap I didn’t need.
Do not tip because it isn’t fair to other people, such as mentioned – the girls at the Vietnamese restaurant and kitchen staff.
