When Sex and the City first hit Australian screens in the late 90s, I thought Carrie Bradshaw was freaking rad. I wanted so badly to have a teeny tiny 7-year-old-girl figure, a giant closet full of barely fashionable shoes and a job that required me to do dick all, except punch out one rhetorical question riddled article per week, while eating two-minute noodles in my underwear.
Honestly? I bloody love that show. It’s kind of like my favourite band. If I’m cooking dinner, I’ll pop an episode on in the background to listen to while I chop my veggies. Mr Smaggle went away for a week quite recently and I slammed through almost the entire series in his absence. I’m no Carrie hater and I actually think the show is quite brilliant HOWEVER, re-watching this show as a bona fide grown up, made me realise just how big a dick Carrie Bradshaw really is.
I get that TV shows need conflict to be entertaining (Screen Writing 101) but there was some nasty, shady, indecent and quite frankly unstable behaviour from our curly-haired friend.
Here are a few dick moves of Carrie Bradshaw that would leave her permanently friendless and single if she was a real life human.
She…
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1. Abandoned her friend at the opera because she saw her ex-boyfriend in the audience
If one of my friends ditched me at the theatre because she saw her ex-boyfriend of almost a year ago on the other side of the audience, I’d be pissed. If we were at a bar and she politely asked me to relocate, no issue. An overly dramatic run away from a $200 plus ticketed event? Dick move Bradshaw.
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2. Relentlessly stalked her lover’s ex-wife so she could off load her guilt, to the point where she followed her to a restaurant and forced the poor woman into a confrontation
If one of your friends successfully broke up a marriage and then went all Single White Female on the betrayed woman, you’d be quietly stroking her and telling her that everything was going to be okay… while surreptitiously dialling the mental health ward at your local hospital.
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3. Cheated on The Best Boyfriend In The World
It’s never okay to cheat on anyone ever but Aiden? It’s like kicking a Golden Retriever puppy in the guts.
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4. Showed up to her lover’s church and demanded that she be introduced to his mother
This is typical How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days material. Why the rush on meeting the mother? He was dating other women just the week before! Honestly, season 1 Carrie needed a good shake.
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5. Hated on her new boyfriend because he was ‘too romantic’
I mean there really is nothing worse than being treated too well is there?
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6. Went away for the weekend with her boyfriend to his country cabin and then invited the guy she cheated on him with
‘Hey babe, remember this asshole? He put his dick in me while you were buffing my hardwood floors. He’s here for dinner. The one you cooked because I think it’s adorable to be an incompetent human! LOL!’
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7. Broke up with her boyfriend on her friend’s wedding day
Short of wearing a white gown and trying to bone the father of the bride, this is amongst the worst bridesmaid behaviour imaginable. If she was going to actively break her boyfriend’s heart, she could have just waited 12 hours until it wasn’t her BFFs special day and then gone back to being a selfish princess. Gosh.
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8. Guilt tripped her friend into loaning her money
Friends don’t usually go around lending each other house deposits, especially if one them has a really terrible track record with money. Friends also don’t yell at their friends for politely refusing their unreasonable requests.
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9. Blamed her friend Miranda for getting her jilted at the altar because of a throw away statement she emotionally garbled at the groom to be at their rehearsal dinner
Big was a man-child who had a veritable buffet of commitment issues, none of which had anything to do with an emotional and slightly liquor laced remark from a broken-hearted bridesmaid at their rehearsal dinner. Carrie was an uber-bitch for letting Miranda wear the guilt of that.
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I still love the gal though. She was there for Miranda when she was alone on New Years Eve, she talked Charlotte through her humiliating up-the-butt conundrum and she was right beside Samantha for every step of her cancer journey. She’s also fictional, so let us learn from her nutbag ways and promise to never to buy our friends bullshit bagels, never ditch our friends for our new Russian lovers and never spend $40, 000 on shoes we can’t afford.
Are you a Carrie fan?
44 Comments
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Haha yes, I think once we all really look at SATC properly and unfortunately- like adults!- Carrie can be so eye-rolling sometimes. When Miranda damaged her back and Carrie got Aiden to check up on her- a total no! Friends never would do that. Actually, I think Charlotte was the one who drives me slightly mad when I watch it now. Just, so annoying. Still, LOVE the show and would rather be watching re-runs than doing other monday duties. Sign.
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I was fine with Charlotte until the movie and then she just really started pissing me off. They’re the only DVDs I won’t throw away. It’s just such a great show.
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Yes totally! And particularly in the later seasons she seems to get extra self-absorbed and treats the girls a bit shit because of it. Still love her though 🙂
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Totally like when she was supposed to meet the girls for brunch and then just didn’t show up and Samantha called and she was all ‘Oh I’m all warm and snuggly with my new boyfriend.’ Not cool.
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Wow, she really did pull some massive dick moves, didn’t she?! And yet, yep – still a fan!
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I just can’t hate on her. And I I won’t hear a bad word about her fashion sense. There were one or two VERY interesting outfits but the most part, she just looked awesome!
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Man, those WERE dick moves. I never really saw all that when I was watching the series. I was a huge fan of SATC and have rewatched the entire series a few times. Even though I was secretly hoping she would get back with Big, I was really pissed off at her for breaking up with Aidan. Until now I remember her keep going back to him like they could be friends again or something and he finally broke and shouted “YOU BROKE MY HEART!”
Sigh.
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That was horrible that scene! And then she just RAN AWAY! What a bitch.
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Sooooo true!!! I always hated when she guilted Charlotte into lending her the money for a place. I wouldn’t even do that to my parents. I also agree about the Miranda thing in the SATC movie. As if that silly comment was enough to make a man leave you at the altar. Come on, Carrie!
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Why stop at 9, so many more…
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I’d also quite like to discuss the worst Carrie outfit – there has been some shockers. My nomination goes to the red croissant she wore on her head to the birthday dinner that no one turned up to. You know why no one turned up Carrie? Because you’re a pretty rubbish friend.
Sorry – I sound like a total Carrie hater, I do love her, but as an adult her behaviour really gives me the irrits..
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Ha, this is a hilarious post! I love the show and have watched each episode at least 20 times (possibly more!), but agree, sometimes Carrie’s actions are questionable and she does act like a complete doushe!
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I think I’ve watched every episode at least 20 times too! Some of them I know by heart. #shame
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I do love the show, but yeah… sometimes Carrie is too dramatic for me.
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Oh I still ADORE the show I was just shocked at how all that behaviour totally went over my head the first time I watched it.
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Agree with everything except 5 and 8 –
5 – I hate Petrovsky. Hate hate hate. And I completely understand her not being too comfortable with him at first.
8 – I see your point, but I kind off interpreted that whole moment as blaming Charlotte for not even offering, for simply ignoring the problem, and I think that was a shitty move. If she was of the opinion that she shouldn’t loan money, fine, but just ignore what her friend is going through? Thumb down for Charlotte.
All in all, Carrie is a bit too much sometimes, but hey, it’s a TV show character, so it makes sense 🙂-
I didn’t mind Petrovsky. I though he was a bit of a prick but he was super open about it. I agree though, I thought that whole story line was really shallow. I get your point on 8, she should have said something but Carrie barrelling over to her house to yell at her that she doesn’t even have to work was rude! 🙂
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I was talking about this with some friends the other day, and everyone then started saying (as there were four of us), which one was most like which character… and NO ONE wanted to be Carrie. She used to be the hot favourite!
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Totally! I’d put myself as Samantha these days… not for the sluttyness just for the no bullshitness. And also because I’m not like any of the others.
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Love SATC!! How freaken nice was Aiden.. I felt so bad for him!
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I recently binge-watched the entire series again (oh, the sordid and exciting life I lead as a heavily pregnant woman!) and found myself cringing at the EXACT. SAME. THINGS. Not to mention all those scenes where Miranda was struggling with early parenthood and Carrie would be calling/popping over to discuss the most inane topics… (Remember when she spent a good 20 minutes or so ranting about Nina ”The Face Girl” Kantz?! Aye yi YI, Carrie!)
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Yes! Like the time she called in when Miranda couldn’t get Brady to breastfeed so after talking about herself for like 2 minutes Carrie was all ‘this looks hard for you. Ok bye!’
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This is so funny! Thanks for the memories. I still watch the re-runs.
I thought I would die when Miranda pulled her back out and Carrie sent Aiden. That was a bitch move.Oh, yes waiters do think you are an asshole if you don’t tip. Unfortunately that is how they make their living 🙂
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Love it! The final 3 series she used to irk me with SFB (Selfish Friend Behaviour) namely shooting down there problem with a lament of her own or the time she brought poor embarrassed nudey sore neck Miranda Bagels just so she could overanaylse another Big-conundrum
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oops I am from the US where the wait staff makes nothing so please excuse my response 🙂
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I am a Carrie fan – it’s a bit hard when you read the post above but after 9 or 10 seasons, there are sure to be some dick moves in there. Were human!
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Sleeping with a married man didn’t rate a mention? Now THAT was a dick move. I’m a big SATC fan, but if you binge watch that show, Carrie is really neurotic, needy, defined by externals and kinda yuk.
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Im still unable to get over the way she treated Aidan. I always hated how she kept the ciggie between her teeth…but man oh man I wish I could wear big ass cottontails the way she does. SATC is my fave show of all time…
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Yes that cigarette between the teeth thing is so annoying! And when they go to Aiden and Steve’s new bar and she practically dictates to Miranda and Samantha was they are not allowed to talk about because seeing Aiden must be at the top all of their priority lists. And then when Big leaves her at the alter, their holiday is all about Poor Carrie, when Miranda being cheated on by her husband hardly gets any sympathy.
Still addicted to the show!
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I always loved the cig between the teeth.
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I love SATC and have all the DVD series too but all the girls have their little annoying habits…now that you mention it Carrie was a bitch…I loved Aiden and thought Carrie was an idiot for going back to Big…loved this post Ms Smaggle! Now better go & re-watch a few episodes..
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Hah – love this post to be honest I got bored with the series after a while same old same old but totally loved the film. The one episode of the series that I loved was when Carrie found out Big was moving to California coz he was buying a vineyard and they were dancing around the apartment to old time music think it was Sinatra. Going off track a little I hated how Miranda treated Steve when he’d slept with another woman in the film. Im not making excuses for Steve sleeping with another woman but he idolised Miranda and she was just too afraid to fall so deeply in love. Sure she may have worked crazy ass hours as a hot shot lawyer but she had the money to pay for help. She would have moaned if he wasn’t interested. Love this post brings back happy memories of the SATC.
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Carrie was a self absorbed disaster! I did love her style though.
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Another super rude thing Carrie did was “paper covers rock” when she got broken up with by Berger and when Charlotte got engaged. I do love all the characters though and like most of you have watched them over 20x each. Fab show!! The good fight is my fav ep:):) aahh love it. Thanks for the post!
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Let’s not forget when Miranda and Samantha were trying to look after Brady and she pestered them with the first world problem of a woman giving her a funny look.
Also when Miranda was preparing to have an abortion and she turned the whole thing around to herself and how she’d had one 20 years prior. Miranda is the only character I can actually stand, but this is hands down my favourite show!
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Does anyone remember when Carrie practically begs Samantha to attend her book party after Sam already tells her she had a chemical peel? Still, she whines until Sam agrees to show. When she arrives, Carries pretty much embarrasses her out the door. Making snide comments and yelling at her until she leaves. Shes an awful friend. I love the show, but Miranda and Samantha are the only true friends. Id kill to have ladies like that in my life. Carrie and Charlotte dont know what it means to be true. Charlotte is way too judgemental with all the girls, when she is the dumbest and most desperate character in the history of TV. Carrie is selfish needy and rude. She is loving and kind when she wants to be. But why not be there for your friends when theyre all you have?
All of the “Dick Moves” listed here are great- I didnt know other women thought the same things as me! I forgot to mention a few though. Someone tell me if you agree! (; When Carrie needs to buy her apartment and pretends to seriously ask Big for financial advice, when she knows she only went to Big for sympathy and a pity check. Another is when Aiden buys her a new laptop and she treats him like garbage right after landing him back. If Big bought her a laptop she would start tearing up, and then she’d blow him. Why would the writers write Carrie in that way?! Yes..shes fabulous. Always will be. But its nice to vent and to see others venting about the show. ???? -
I’ve watched the series a million times, but never in chronological order, really. I had always loved the show. Recently, I decided to start the series from the very start and I wound up here by googling “Carrie Bradshaw dick.” Lol! Needles to say, this time around, watching as a full blown adult; Carrie is a shitty friend and quite the psycho lover. Hmmm
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I like the show but i think carrie is an awful selfish bitch
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I think one of the biggest Carrie dick moves was when after she practically begged Aiden to take her back, she refused to change her relationship with Big, insisting that Big was “in her life” and wasn’t going anywhere. It’s one thing if it’s just an ex you’re still friendly with but this is the guy you cheated on your perfect boyfriend with! That was just a giant fuck you to Aiden’s feelings.
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Apparently some of us need a life. Namely me!! L.OL consumed still with Carries mistake in choosing Big over Aidan . He was perfec for her and supppsedly represented all we want in a man whereas Big was a hole personified. I never forgave him for the way he treated Carrie over that stupid hair brush so you know I. was never a fan!! Will keep writing the alternate ending in my head. Or perhaps the third movie. It can not take me any longer than it has taken them!
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I love how were all still watching in 2017!! I’ve become re-obsessed. Anyway, yes I agree Carrie had some real dick moves. She always managed to make every single thing about her. I think she changed after the first break up with Aidan. Samantha was the best, Miranda second for great friends. I agree with most of the post except for one (and I’m the unpopular opinion here) but I totally think Charlotte was the dick for not offering her the money. I don’t think Carrie guilted her but being so entitled as she is she had to call Charlotte out on being a stingy friend and on why she didnt just offer. (IMO Charlotte was cheap and should have offered but it’s also my opinion that Carrie wouldn’t have given her the money if she had it and tables were turned) Sam and Miranda = Solid friends. Ahhh I just LOVE sat c either way. Love love love!
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Damn you nailed it! It is funny how now that I’m older and rewatch I’m like WTF? The one that upsets me the most is her telling Aiden – after they had gotten back together that Big was a part of her life and she wasn’t going to stop talking to him. What?!?!
Pingbacks
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[…] and I dressed like a stick of fairy floss for at least three years. In my early 20s, I went I bit Carrie Bradshaw. Vintage clothing, sometimes questionable pairings of patterns and I wore high heels every day. […]
[…] and I dressed like a stick of fairy floss for at least three years. In my early 20s, I went I bit Carrie Bradshaw. Vintage clothing, sometimes questionable pairings of patterns and I wore high heels every day. […]
