I have a theory that most women fall into one of two different categories. They’re either a Casual Girl or a Deliberate Girl. What kind of girl do you think you might be? [divider type=”thin” width=”1/1″ el_position=”first last”]
The Casual Girl
* Can take one pair of shoes on a 2 week beach holiday and not even wear them
* Can style her hair by shoving a few bobby pins in it and it will look like she just walked off the NYFW runway
* Always gives very excellent life advice
* Orders the weird sounding thing at restaurants and ends up with the best meal
* Has a rad boyfriend that she stays friends with when they break up
* Knows all the lyrics to every song on the Spice World album but still listens to obscure dub step and jazz
* Has a hidden talent like rollerblading or circus tricks
* Never rushes. She’s usually on time but if she’s a bit late, it’s no biggie
* Isn’t picky about food
* Doesn’t care who she sits next to at a dinner party because she’ll chat to anyone
* Is just as comfortable at a fine dining restaurant as she is at the pub
* Can lose her phone for a full day and not even notice
* Never takes longer than about 15 minutes to get ready including a shower
* Pretty much says yes to everything including camping trips, tequila shots, midnight visits to the emergency room and seconds of dessert
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The Not So Great Bits
Casual Girls can be a little bit flighty. They might disappear from your life for a few months and then come strolling back as if nothing has happened. With their fabulously positive attitude they can also accidentally trivialize your problems and not give you enough air space to have a whinge about whatever is bothering you. They can also be a bit crap about paying back money that they owe you or returning clothes that they borrowed. Casual Girls tend to have lots and lots of friends so if your bestie is a Casual Girl, it can be difficult getting one on one time with her.
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The Deliberate Girl
* Is always dressed appropriately for every occasion
* Takes very good care of her friends when they’re sad
* Loves to party… sensibly.
* Speaks to most of her friends every day
* Is adored by everyone she’s ever worked with because she’s the perfect combination of lovely and efficient
* Has grown up things like throw rugs and water filters in her house
* Would much rather spend an evening on the couch with her best friend and a bottle of wine than go to a concert
* Can make a gluten, sugar, lactose and fat-free cake that tastes like heaven
* Never keeps anyone waiting
* Remembers your mother’s name and makes sure to stop and say hello when she sees her at the shops
* Has a handbag full of hair elastics, bobby pins, hand cream, sanitizer and breath mints that everyone is welcome to use
* Listens to all your problems, even the boring non-juicy ones
* Replies to text messages straight away or at least on the day that you sent them
* Is a champion at any activity that requires preparation like trivia nights, job interviews and wedding planning
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The Not So Great Bits
Deliberate Girls can be a bit clingy and tend to take things personally, so they require a little bit more attention than Casual Girls. Deliberate Girls are fantastic, engaged and loyal friends but they expect the exact same thing in return. They can also be the fun police and will try to stop you from having one night stands and spontaneously booking expensive tickets for OS holidays on your credit card. You’ll resent Deliberate Girls because they’re usually the voice of reason in your head and they’re usually correct.
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Most of my friendsΒ fall strongly into either of these categories. They certainly all have traits of both but there’s definitely dominance of Casual or Deliberate in all of them.
Me?
I’m a Deliberate Girl with a few Casual Girl traits. I’m very well prepared, I’m an excellent listener and I’m a kick-ass bridesmaid which makes me a Deliberate Girl. However I’m also a great hand bag.Β You can take me anywhere and not have to babysit me. I don’t get nervous talking to new people and I’m pretty upbeat and positive – all significant traits of the Casual Girl.
BUT…
If you try to do something stupid, I’m definitely going to try to stop you. I’m not a clingy Deliberate Girl but I’m definitely a fun ruiner.Β I panic if I’m not near a toilet and I never talk to strangers even though I’m an adult. I plan everything and I get stress-by-proxy if you tell me you’ve lost your passport or you’re driving around in an unregistered car. I present as a Casual Girl but I’m a Deliberate Girl deep down.
I don’t intend for this to sound judgemental or mean. I just think it’s important for people to recognise the differences in each other and be understanding. So next time one of your friends is being really weird because you didn’t call her over the weekend, just be nice about it. She’s a Deliberate Girl and you probably broke her brain a little bit. And when your other friend hasn’t called you since she went overseas and then acts like it’s no big deal, stress less. She’s a Casual Girl.
Are you a casual girl? Or a deliberate girl? Or a super magical unicorn mix of both?
P.S There’s no excuse for being a dick. It’s doesn’t matter if you’re a Deliberate Girl or Casual Girl you MUST be a Kind Girl.
32 Comments
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I love this! I’m more of a casual girl, but am deliberate about a few things. I often leave my phone places and don’t notice until hours later, I’ll eat pretty much whatever is put in front of me, and I can go from lying in bed to driving to work in about 10 minutes if need be. On the other hand, I am decidedly not a party girl, and I am a great listener.
I don’t think I’m a perfectly balanced unicorn person, but I’m perfect for me and and that’s enough for now.
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I never, ever not know where my phone is. It’s usually in my hand or next to me on my desk. A bloggers life! That’s what I think is so great about the categories – I think everyone is dominant in one area but then has sprinklings of the other one. I’d LOVE to be more casual but I’m just not. I’ve accepted it. π
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Mrs woog has 2 categories – fruit (casual) or nut (deliberate). I have also heard circles and squares- you guess which is which. I am always the deliberate girl – totally have to make sure everything is as it should be. And stress by proxy – it is a real thing! But as in everything there is balance – and if we have a friend or loved one who is the opposite – then together we must make a perfect unit.
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Oh of course! The fruits and nuts. I’m a nut… but again I present as a fruit. I have the WORST stress by proxy. My bestie constantly loses her wallet and it drives me mental.
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Are you sure there isn’t another category? I don’t relate to either of these at all.
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Of course there’s another category! Super Magical Unicorn Mix of Both! π
Surely there’s some similarities with one of them… it’s kind of like are you easy going or more intense?
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I just read through them again and there was only one thing: Replies to text messages straight away or at least on the day that you sent them. I don’t think one thing is enough to really categorise me as that type of person. Not trying to seem a “special snowflake”, I would love to say I fit one of these, but, I guess I don’t.
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It’s made up anyway so don’t stress. It’s not like that episode of The Simpsons where Bart sells his soul and can’t open automatic doors anymore. π
Also you have a hidden talent you sneaky little amazing drawer you!
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Oh, I wasn’t stressing, just adding another answer to the bunch. I think it’s really fascinating to see similarities in people. I really hope I can open automatic doors and don’t have to rely on terrifying revolving ones or *gasp* use my arms : P
That reminds me, I often start sentences with “it’s like that time on The Simpsons…” That show is full with life lessons and familiarity.I always think of a hidden talent as something quite remarkable that genuinely surprises me.
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I love this post! I went through ’em all and I’m most definitely a Deliberate Girl with a bit of Casual Girl thrown in. I’m the one who waits for people (and then get annoyed when they’re even 1 min late). And I have water filters. Lots of water filters.
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You are definitely Deliberate Girl. I was thinking about this with the cast of Girls the other. So Hannah and Jessa and Casual Girls and Marni and Shosh are Deliberate Girls. Does that make sense?
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Jessa was exactly who I was thinking of when I read casual girl. I must be a deliberate girl because it irritates me how she flits in and out whenever she wants. Although I also love her
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That’s precisely the relationship between Casual and Deliberate Girls. Deliberate Girls are usually annoyed with Casual Girls and Casual Girls be all ‘Uh what?’ about it.
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I’m a combo for sure, but mostly a deliberate girl. Fun post!
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I think most people are combos but there’s always a LITTLE lean in one direction over the other. Like I said before I’d LOVE to be more casual but that’s just not a thing for me. π
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I remember when you explained this theory to me a while ago and I was SO THRILLED you thought I was a casual girl. It was the best compliment ever.
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The concept started with the Casual Girl and you’re the only true Casual Girl I know (only the positive stuff though… although you’ve definitely lost some important things before). I would love to be more Casual but I’m Deliberate through and through.
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80% deliberate girl (will talk to anyone, any where, any time) 20% casual (Lose my wallet in my own home, sometimes pay bills on the reminder notice and can do fine dining or pub with no preference). I am honest to the point of brutality if I think you are being a dick with your own self worth.. but will then encourage creative safe risk taking (holidays and beautiful shoes with this weeks rent). Loyal to a fault but will give people a second try.
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Sounds like the perfect combo! Let’s be friends! π
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A mix of both. More deliberate than casual. Love helping people and really shy. V x
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You just an inspired a blog post! Stay tuned! π
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Oh loved this Carly. I am a deliberate girl and I think I pretty much conform to every one of her characteristics as described here except I am def not clingy and always talk to new people. In Year 12, I did not drink at parties as I had two very close friends who would get drunk and do crazy things like run across the road or try to throw ex boyfriends in pools (true stories) and do other random self destructive acts. I was basically looking out for them. I generally like being the way I am but I confess that I have high expectations and can feel disappointed easily although my expectations are only a reflection on how I would behave myself. I wish it weren’t so, but it is. I could do with some more casual girl for sure π x
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I’m the same! I wasn’t a huge drinker in high school was always the ‘mum’ of the group. Like other girls mums would let their daughters go places if they knew I was going too.
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haha definitely neither… maybe 40% of each? Not sure where the other 20% of me hangs out…
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It’s interesting that there have been a few people that haven’t been able to define themselves… maybe I do need another category!
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Oh you gave me a good giggle. I think based on the amount of internal stress I felt in deciding, then I must be mostly a deliberate girl. Though when it comes to sewing other creative things, I’m casual.
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Oh Deliberate Girls can be creative! Absolutely! I’m Delliberate and I’m a write and actor… I’m just very fussy about the way I do it. π
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I am a deliberately casual UNICORN!! Yes I am. But text me back – you’re not running a country! Your text can say, ???? project due soz
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Deliberate Girl definitely! Sometimes I relax and be casual, but most of the time, I’m intense all the way!
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I’m definitely more of a deliberate girl but I do have a few casual girl traits like saying yes to tequila shots and losing my phone π
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Great post! I’m a deliberate girl for sure, although I do have a few redeeming casual girl features! I’m learning to loosen up a little as I get older.
I reckon anyone making a strong point about not identifying with either is a deliberate girl, for sure… π -
Lady, this is awesome. I think it’s really easy to take people’s behaviour personally when really they’re just being them. I guess I was a full blown casual girl, but motherhood has whooped my arse into some deliberate action. Although, I’ve always been shy about talking to strangers and probably always will be x
