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Things I Did That I Never Told My Parents About

Things I Did That I Never Told My Parents About
Carly Jacobs
I

am super lame at breaking rules. In high school I thought ‘being a rebel’ meant necking three vodka Cruisers at a backyard get together and having my best mate drive me home just after midnight. You’re only young once right?

I was out for dinner not long ago with a group of people I didn’t know very well and the conversation turned to all the stuff that we hid from our parents when we wereΒ teenagers. You know like heroin addictions, 25 year old boyfriends, STDs, infected tattoos, court orders and secret abortions.Β I literally had zero comparableΒ anecdotes to contribute other than ‘I stole some Tim Tams and smoked a stale rollie with Sue on the golf course.

So I thought I’d share my top 5 list of rebellious teenage acts for you. Just a warning: they are in no way incriminating or juicy. I was the world’s worst rebellious teenager.

Close up of pink sneakers worn by a teenager.

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Drove my car before I had a license

Literally once around the block with my mate one weekend when my parents were away. I then spent three hours trying to get it in exactly the same position that it was in before. Actually three hours. Major rebel fail.

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Drank one nip of my father’s bourbon

Again whenΒ my parents were away, aΒ mate of mine and IΒ shared a nip of dad’s Jim Beam in a glass of Coke. We both though it was gross and didn’t want to drink anymore so we spent the rest of the evening watching the Michael Jackson Thriller DVD and learning all the choreography. Total. Animals.

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Had a boy to sleep over when they were away

Even this one wasn’t impressive because it was my best guy friend and he slept over all the time and they didn’t even say he couldn’t stay over while they were away.

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Used their ensuite toilet every chance I got

Mum hated me using her ensuite but it was just SO CLEAN and I didn’t have to share it with my stinky brother. Anytime they were away, it became my default toilet. What can I say? I was a troubled teenager.

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Had a (very small, incredibly dorky)Β party (that they knew about), broke a mug (that came free with instant coffee) andΒ hid it in the rubbish

They never even noticed.

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Were you a rebellious teenager? Or a total line-toeing geek like me? What did you do as a teenager that you’ve never told your parents about?

45 Comments

  1. Tahlia Meredith 10 years ago

    I was a total geek like you! Our parents always knew if we were going to be drinking at a party (and most often hosted them at our place anyway).

    I think the worst thing I ever did was sneak into a pub with a friend when I was 16 (yep, we were trying to impress some guys). But I felt so bad about it I ended up confessing to my mum anyway! I was terrified because a guy I really like was having a party and I thought I’d get grounded but my mum was really cool about it. Probably because she knew I was really a total square πŸ˜‰

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      My dad actually walked me into a pub when I was 13 (I looked very grown up for my age!) and no one blinked an eyelid. My parents didn’t really make lying and taboo things very exciting so there wasn’t a lot of appeal for me to be ‘naughty’.

  2. I was also the world’s worst rebel. I drank a G+T when I was 14 in my bedroom, which made me throw up (in the rubbish bin in my toilet and I destroyed the evidence. WOW! That even did however put me off gin for over 10 years.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      A G&T? That was seriously your first drink? That’s so grandma of you! Hilarious.

  3. Nic 10 years ago

    I’ll see your geekiness and raise you! The only thing I can think of is one night a girlfriend and I went out to a pub, after my parents said I could go to her place, but not out anywhere. I was like you – my friends got wasted but I was the ‘sensible’ friend who didn’t drink much. Oh, and one day my bf and I were almost sprung having sex by my mum – she said she was going out for a while but came back after about 15 mins – I think to deliberately catch us! I was probably about 19 so it was hardly a scandal…

    • Parents are SO MEAN like that! If my 19 year old was living at home and not datina total douche bag, I seriously can’t see that I would mind them having a little nookie while I was out. I certainly wouldn’t come back and try to spring them!

  4. Hahahaaa this is so me. I never drank at school, never tried a single drug and never smoked.
    The most rebellious thing I ever did was going to parties that had no parents in attendance (after telling my parents that there WOULD be parents there.) Sooo lame!

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      I was a little bit naughty and had the occasional cigarette (I was a theatre kid, it kind of went with the emo territory) but I was by no means a smoker. I was always the girl who’s parents would be all ‘Oh is Carly going? Well you can go then.’

      • Nic 10 years ago

        Apart from a ciggie at the age of 5 (my dad was smoking with a friend and I bugged him relentlessly to let me have a puff) I never actually tried to smoke. One Christmas we were all sitting around late at night and my sister decided it would be a good idea for us all to try a cigarette (from the container on the coffee table that had a few stale cigarettes for a family friend who couldn’t cope without one, but never brought any!). I couldn’t bring myself to inhale the smoke, so i was a complete failure, at age 25. Needless to say I never tried a joint! Although when I visited Amsterdam a few years ago I tried to cajole a friend, who used to be a huge pot-head in his early years, to take me to a cafe for a try but he refused! Said in hindsight it was a stupid thing to do…

        • Author
          Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

          I’ve had whacky tabaccy a few times but I don’t like it. I’m a control freak and being out of control is the LEAST relaxing thing in the world for me. Alcohol is all I indulge in these days and I’m currently doing Dry July! I’m such a grown up!

  5. Bek 10 years ago

    I went to a different school before joining you at yours in year nine – and the reason they made me go to an all-girl’s school was because I wagged 52 days in a single semester and used the free time to smoke bongs and shoplift. I also accidentally drove my friend’s parents car into a retaining wall. Then, once I got to St Clares I think I had most of it out of my system and ended up being a total drama nerd who edited the school literally magazine and duxed a bunch of subjects. It was rather bizarre actually, literally was like two different people.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      That does not sound like you at all… It sounds like you in 20s but that’s because you made bad boy decisions. 52 days in a single semester? I don’t think I ever properly wagged school… I had a few mental health days but that was definitely with permission from my mum. Of course! Personally I think most drama nerds grow up awesome! πŸ™‚

      • Bek 10 years ago

        Bahaha it totally was me in my early twenties too! Now I’m a sensible homeowner – I wonder if in my thirties I’ll revert back to crazy me?

        • Author
          Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

          Whoa. Maybe is decade dependent… watch out Mike! Crazy Bek is MENTAL!

  6. Noneya Bidness 10 years ago

    I had a 25 year old boyfriend when I was 16…he kind of looked like Johnny Depp and worked with one of my dads friends. I know for certain that my parents would have murdered him! My relationship with my parents is funny though, they were always too scared to confront me about anything lest it ruin the charade that I’m a good girl.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      Ha! Hilarious! And totally worth it for a Johnny Depp look alike. Had been able to attract to a 25 year old hot boyfriend I would have been ALL OVER THAT.

  7. Tamsin Howse 10 years ago

    I used to run away a lot when I was in primary school, but my parents always found out. I got the cops called on me a couple of times. As a teenager I don’t think I did much rebellious. I drank occasionally, but mostly after 18 and my mum found out about my drinking at my 18th and hit the ROOF.

    I think the worst thing I did was making out with boys. And I did quite a lot of that until I was abused at 15 by my boyfriend, which I never told them about. After that my mum read a letter where I referenced kissing a boy (at 16) and got really angry about it. I remember thinking “if only you knew”.

    My cousin & I went to see a scary movie once without her parents’ permission. Rebels, we were.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      Oh actually I went to an M15 movie and got my guy friend to buy me a ticket. That was awesome. I was like almost 15 though. Drinking wasn’t a huge deal in my family for some reason. If I had a beer after a play my mum wouldn’t blink an eye, I think that’s why alcohol was never a big deal for me. I didn’t even really drink until I was in my 20s.

  8. Hayley Ashman 10 years ago

    I was a terrible teenager. My mum was quite strict so I chose to rebel. Not allowed to go out? No worries, out the window I went. I really hope karma isn’t a real thing.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      My parents were so clever. I lived really far out of town with no buses so if I wanted to go anywhere they had to drive me. There was no other option. Smart cookies.

  9. Tamara 10 years ago

    I was such a little nerd and never did anything remotely scandaless. Have never smoked or done drugs and barely drank until i was 17. Funnily, I think my dad always thought I was worse than I was until a few years ago when my friends set him straight that I was the good angel in their shoulder πŸ˜‰

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      Ha! I’m the same. I was such a whistle blower if any of the parents asked me what went down on the weekend, I’d just tell them. Worst friend ever. πŸ™‚

      • Tamara 10 years ago

        Haha! I’m sure the parents loved you.

  10. Natalie 10 years ago

    Nope! I was a total goody goody! Anything naughty I did, I usually told my parents about anyway! I’ve only recently realised how much of a prim and proper life I really have lead.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      I’m the same. I was so sheltered as a kid. I ended up teaching special needs and teaching in jails so there’s not a lot I haven’t seen now and holy shit I’m a lucky gal!

  11. thedailymark 10 years ago

    Haha this sounds exactly like me. I was never allowed to go to the blue light discos and resented it so much. Now I realise they were saving me from a very ordinary night. I even remember when I was 20 getting acrylic nails put on and being SO nervous about what Mum would say haha Such a wuss!

    Madeleine, The Daily Mark

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      I was never allowed to go to Blue Light Discos either! The looked pretty lame though and kind of possibly dangerous. Our Constable Mike who did Kenny Koala and the Blue Light Discos turned out to be a paedo… not cool.

  12. countrygypsies 10 years ago

    Oh you rebel you :-). I find the older I get the more I tell my parents ( who are now quite elderly). Although most of the time, they have told me they already knew about it anyway!!!

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      The only thing I haven’t truly confirmed to my mother is the circumstance under which I lost my virginity. SHE’S DYING TO KNOW and I’ll never tell her. Mwah hah ahahaha.

  13. Nicole (@dorkabrain) 10 years ago

    I don’t think I was overly rebellious or a goody two shoes, maybe somewhere in between. A lot factored into what I did and whether or not it was a big deal if my parents knew or not because 1) My parents (my mum, I’ve spoken before about my meh Dad who left 99% of the parenting to my mum) were the type to be totally open. It probably comes from the territory of her being someone who started working at a bar when she was 15. She didn’t stop one of my brothers smoking as a teenager because she did the same thing and figured it made her a hypocrite to say no. That sort of thing. 2) My oldest brother was probably what you would think of a rebellious teenager, but it was never done with spite, he just hung with the “wrong” crowd. So by the time I came along, my parents had seen some SHIT! and 3)Most of my “bad” things were because of having a mental illness and being undiagnosed till I was 18 and having no idea what to do about it.
    SO, onto the things.
    In tenth grade, I was basically jigging school 2 or 3 times a week. Often sleeping outside public restrooms in the park.
    Once, in 7th grade, accidentally helped someone break into a house.
    Oh, and my mum used to collect different kinds of 50c coins and I would sometimes steal them to buy lollies at the corner shop next to our house. Left the worse one till last : P

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      Stealing from the coin collection??? How do you sleep at night? πŸ™‚

      • Nicole (@dorkabrain) 10 years ago

        haha yeah, the accidentally breaking into a house thing is fine, but stealing from your parents 50c coin collection, The Worst : P

  14. Rae Hilhorst 10 years ago

    Well I must have been very bad as I smoked and drank from 15 years of age, and that is something my children will never ever know – I’m going to hell!!!!!

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      Ha! Yes! Straight to hell! I think Mama Smaggle was way worse than me actually and told me all about it… perhaps you SHOULD tell your kids?

  15. Shannon Kate 10 years ago

    I was a terrible child from when I was 14 – smoked, drank, had people over any time my parents were out, broke curfew, ran away, had older boyfriends, talked back to my parents and stole my mums tampons. Instant karma when I fell pregnant at 17 and had to forgo all the 18-25 year old party years! Now I’m so insanely good it’s gross.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      Ha! Oh I kind of love that story, I knew a few girls who had the same thing happen. Sort of go hard then go home kind of thing! πŸ™‚

  16. I was a total geek, and I would say even more so than you were! I didn’t do any of the 5 things you mentioned. The onlyyyyyy thing I have hidden from my parents was going to a bar after my final IB exam with friends. We played cards and drinking games, but I stuck with my bottle of lemonade while the rest of them had their fun with alcohol πŸ˜› -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      Oh shut up! You’re so adorable. I used to go to pubs all the time but my parents knew where I was. It was a theatre kid thing, bars just seemed to let us in.

  17. Rachel Ann 10 years ago

    The only thing I can think of is the one time my friends and I were dropped off to go bowling and then went and hung out at the music store in the strip mall instead. We drank energy drinks and listened to music samples and when we got bored we called my friend’s mom to come get us. We even made up bowling scores, but it was really a sub-par evening.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 10 years ago

      Ha! So funny! I remember once going to a disco and meeting my friends but they all left and went to a party instead. I was like ‘Nuh uh.’ So I called my mum and she picked me up and we went out for dinner instead. It was rad.

  18. Tine 10 years ago

    Ahem, I was quite a sneaky teenager. E.g.
    – Mum insisted I go for Chinese extra-curriculum classes on Saturdays. For the two years I was supposed to be in school, I went to school and then left to hang out at my friend’s home. It never occurred to Mum why I always got Ds in my report card for Chinese. πŸ˜›
    – When I was too lazy to practise the piano and wasn’t ready for my next piano lesson, I’d phone my piano teacher saying that I wasn’t able to attend the class because my parents weren’t free to fetch me there. Then I’d tell my parents that the teacher called to cancel the class. Easy!
    – I studied in an all-girls’ school and the nearest school to us was an all-boys’ school. In between the schools was a large Maccas. My parents forbade me to go to that Maccas lest I go there to meet boys. I don’t, of course, but guess where I was most Friday afternoons after school? πŸ˜‰

  19. Helen 10 years ago

    I’m a total nerd. I wagged class to practice violin in the music block. I once wagged a whole day of school because it was athletics carnival, but I just rode my bike to a friend’s house and hung out with her, reading magazines and listening to Guns n Roses. The worst thing I ever did was when I was 17 and the corporate string quartet I was in was playing at a big opening and after our set, we found the function’s stash of rum and coke and had one each. NERRRRRRRD

  20. tinawheeze 10 years ago

    Oh yes, the sneaky ensuite usage! It always seemed so much cleaner than our bathroom… And I always thought I was the only one to have to scrape the barrel to find even mildly rebellious behaviour – thanks for this! Let’s see, other skeletons include 1) going to a mass sleepover at a boy’s house when I told my parents I was sleeping at a (girl) friend’s place. My friend’s parents drove us both the half hour out of town to the boy’s place (and thinking back now, quite possibly they told my parents what was going on). 2) Once in Year 12 I skipped an afternoon of school and … went to a class at my boyfriend’s school. Yup, I wagged school to go to another school. Biiiiiig rebel.

    • Tahlia Meredith 10 years ago

      Oh you just reminded me, in Year 11 we had a mixed sleepover to watch Disney movies. Yep. My friend’s parents to this day don’t believe we would actually do that and that ‘Disney movie marathon’ MUST be code for a massive party πŸ™‚

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