ne of my favourite questions to ask people is ‘How did you find out about menstruation?’. My own experience was so deeply traumatic that I always like to check in with other people to see if my reacton was normal or completely hysterical. I think it was a combination of both.
You see, Mama Smaggle is a nurse so I got all of my sex education information in matter-of-form with absolutely no cushioning. Mama Smaggle got her period when she was just ten years old (poor poppet, I want to cry every time she tells me about it) and as a result she jumped the gun and warned me a little bit too soon about my own impending periods. I was eight years old on that fateful day, however she had little choice but to tell me then because I was a voracious and precocious reader. I’d already grabbed a Cleo magazine out of my auntie’s bag at the age of six, read an interview about a prostitute and then casually asked my mum what anal sex was and why you’d charge more for it. The poor woman was on a clock to tell me things before I read about them so it really was for the best. Here’s the incredibly distressing (for me) conversation that we had that day.
Mama Smaggle – ‘Carly do you know anything about periods?
Me – ‘No… what’s that?’
Mama Smaggle – ‘Well it’s a private thing that happens to women as part of their ovulation cycle. In order for women to have babies they need to bleed from their vaginas…’
Me – ‘VAGINAS???’
Mama Smaggle – ‘Yes, it’s not that bad. It lasts for about 5 to 7 days…’
Me – ‘DAYS??? Like actual blood coming out of me for days? Do I have to go to hospital?’
Mama Smaggle – ‘No you just use pads and tampons and get on with your day. All women do it.’
Me – ‘What do you mean all women? Like all the women I’ve ever met? They just walk around BLEEDING FROM THEIR VAGINAS as if nothing is happening?’
Mama Smaggle – ‘Yes. I’ve been doing it since I was 10.’
Me – ‘What does that even mean? Have you been bleeding this whole time?’
Mama Smaggle – ‘No it happens for 5 to 7 days one month, then it’s all over and you do again the next month.’
Me – ‘Next month??? How many months do I have to do this for???’
Mama Smaggle – ‘Every month until you’re 50…’
Me – ‘Oh my god. No. I’m not doing that. Just… no.’
Mama Smaggle – ‘The only way to really stop it is to get a hysterectomy but they don’t let little girls get them.’
Me – ‘You are joking aren’t you? This can’t be true.’
Mama Smaggle – ‘I’m sorry darling but it is true. It’s actually a good thing! It’s means you’re healthy and fertile.’
Me – ‘Do you promise you aren’t joking? It’s really mean if you’re making this up.’
Mama Smaggle – ‘You’ll get used to it, I promise!’
And you know what? I’ve actually never really gotten used to it.
After fifteen years I never, ever have my period and think ‘This is totally manageable, not all painful and doesn’t impact on my life in any way – By golly Mama Smaggle was right! I DID get used it!‘.
Mothers obviously have to tell their daughters that periods are easy to manage, otherwise we’d never leave the house again but honesty, they really are just supremely crap. I was absolutely gutted that day – I knew it sounded really bad and as it turns out, I was dead right.
I also feel really sorry for parents of daughters who have to tell them. It’s just so comically awful to have to tell a little girl that’s what’s going to happen to her. It’s not fun for anyone… but it usually makes a bloody great story. So tell me…
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How old were you when you got your period? And how did you find out about it?
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P.S – If you want more awesome discussions about lady gardens and nightmare inducing childhood memories, be sure to follow me around on the net – Facebook, Twitter, Bloglovin, Instagram, YouTube and the Smaggle weekly newsletter. Let’s be cyber buddies! Or something less 90s sounding…
35 Comments
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with you 100% lovely. I was 11, watching Saturday arvo cartoons when mum said she had to talk to me. I was all like “busy here, watching cartoons!”. But we turned tv off and had the talk. Felt like my world as I knew it ended there. I was gutted – every month forever?! (50 something was forever to an 11 yo). Also totally peeved that I had to suffer them alone, as mum had had an hysterectomy not long after I was born (wasn’t my fault people). But now I am 50 something, and have finished with my menstrual cycle – YAY to the nth degree. Xx
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I still feel really ripped off and like I just can’t believe it was actually true. I think it’s a bit of a cruel joke. I’m quite looking forward to finishing mine! Been hanging out for it actually!
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lol! you are adorable smags!
my mother told me about a week before I got mine! she didn’t talk about anything like that!!! … sex!
the best time is now after menopause! … I don’t bleed anymore! yay!! … now that is worth celebrating!
if I want some red colour in my life, I paint it out of me! how much easier is that?
what a s… load we women are blessed with … once a month, going crazy with hormones … horrendous headaches! … in the past thank goddess! lol m:)X-
That’s true too! I’m usually an extremely even tempered person but I get moody, emotional and really low for the few days before my period. It sucks. 🙁
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Oh God, Im dreading the day I have to tell my daughter about it. The school she goes to have a fantastic Sexual Health education that the kids do every year from Reception. All about safe touching, parts of the body, and yep, where the babies come from. You know, the shit for their age, that their minds can grasp. No doubt they will broach this subject too. As a result of the kids talking about this stuff together, my girl has asked me a few questions, and I reply honestly. I would rather her be correctly informed than given a fairy story.
I don’t think my mum ever said anything to me about it. I reckon she just relied on school and Dolly mag to do that!! She bought me a few supplies for when it struck, and let me have the first day off school when it got me. That was about it I reckon!-
My mum was pretty brilliant. She bought champagne and strawberries and tried to make it a celebratory thing. It really was the best way to go about it! I think being honest and giving them all the information they need is the best. One of my mates mothers actually told her she wasn’t allowed to wash her hair when she had her period. How ridiculous is that???
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I was 13 when I got mine (same week as I had my first kiss) – I remember all of that but I don’t remember how I found out about periods. Now, some 17 years later, I still fucking hate them. I can’t be on the pill (long story), my cycles are all over the shop (the last one was 40 days), my moods go cuckoo and the crimson wave hangs around for 7 days. Not my favourite week of the month for obvious reasons!
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I got mine when I was 13 too! One month after my 13th birthday actually. I ignored for a whole weekend until my family was like… ‘Why are you going to the toilet 25 times a day’. It’s sounds like our periods are similar! Mine last 7 days, sometimes longer and I’ve gone up to ten weeks without a period for no reason. I go very batty in the week of my period too. I’m just about to write about PMS actually!
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I approached my mum after reading Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. I was nine. I had been given the original “talk” much younger, but this newer version of the talk was expanded to include periods and homosexuality.
The only problem was Margaret used pads with belts, and that’s what I was expecting, which sounded awful.
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You know I’ve never read that book? I’ve been meaning too but I couldn’t get it on my Kindle and I keep forgetting to grab it in a second hand book shop! On my list! Mama Smaggle had a belt for hers… so horrific!
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I have no memory of being told about the monthly pain, but I’m sure Mum did, I’ve just got absolutely dreadful recall. And I had no idea that the stomach cramps that put me in sick bay were periods until I had to go to the toilet. Heavy, painful, inconvenient….
They’ve gotten easier over the years, but I’m so looking forward to their cessation. Crap piece of design, if you ever wanted proof that the Universal Being was male with a warped sense of humour, periods would be it. Only the higher primates have to deal with them.
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I’m not even sure if Mama Smags remembers – I’ve never forgotten though!
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This post is brilliant and funny Carls. Mum gave me the ‘talk’ after I watched ‘My Girl’ and the scene where she gets hers – I think I was maybe 11 or 12? Anyways, I didn’t get my own until I was nearly 17. I totally thought there was something horribly wrong with me while all my girlfriends had theirs since they were 9. Whether you get told early or late, it always seems to have a little bit of non-trauma trauma associated with it!
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Oh you’re so lucky not getting yours until you were 17! I got mine one month after my 13th birthday!
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I was about nine when I found out what menstruation was. I started having terrible cramps and the doctor attributed to the onset. I don’t remember the conversation about it, so I must have repressed it due to trauma lol. I got my period when I was 10 and while I was in school. It was such a mess, but thankfully nobody else noticed. They let me call my mom and go home early. I didn’t suffer from cramps, but it was heavy, irregular, and lasted for seven days. Years of this led to a severe iron deficiency despite being on the pill. Last year, I got an iron infusion (and an energy boost) and I got Mirena; no more periods.
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Oh you’re so lucky to not get cramps! I feel my uterus is trying to hack it’s way out of body for a full 24 hours every month!
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I just had my older sisters asking for advice on this topic, such a hard thing to talk about with your kids! One of my nieces is at that in between stage where she is a baby but she is growing and looking more like a lady everyday, and she asked me to take her into Sportsgirl for a look the other day and as we were wandering I thought tearily ‘oh how she is growing up’, and then I saw her One Direction pillow pet sticking out of her backpack and felt okay again, and off to Smiggle we went!
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My neice is creeping me out big time. She’s such a little lady now. She says the best stuff and I need her to slow down because she’s still such a little baby to me! We’re not really in charge of those chats though – my brother and her mother aren’t together so I’m not sure how all the important talks will go!
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I can’t remember if/when we had the conversation, but I remember knowing about it and expecting it to happen when I was 13 or 14. But I was 11 when I first got mine and all I remember was going to the toilet, seeing blood in my undies and then going out to Mum to say, ‘Ahh, I think I got my period’ – she then came into the bathroom with me to check and showed me how to use pads etc.
The next day she let me have the day off school and we talked more about it (I was a bit upset the second day).
I remember always HATING it growing up – these days I’m less emotional about it. I guess I also have the joy of using the pill to control when not to have them too, so that helps. 😉
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The pill totally messed with me so I’ve been going natural for almost my whole life! I also have particularly terrible periods. I have girlfriends who barely notice theirs and I’m writhing on the couch in pain for a full 24 hours each month.
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I guess I’ve been one of those lucky ones who is still on the same brand of pill I first ever went on – no hormonal issues at all. My periods are also quite short – 3 days mostly. But I know quite a few women in the same situation as you, just can’t handle the pill in their bodies – does horrible things to them.
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I got mine when I was 16 – 3 weeks after Mum and Dad went overseas for 3 months. The one and only time in my entire life that I wanted my mother! I had a hysterectomy at 38! Best thing I ever did!!!!!
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Oh no! My mother was away on the weekend when I got mine too! She NEVER went away and I was devo. But she came back like 2 days later.
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Mum got a book from somewhere – a brochure probably by mail order from a pad company. She didn’t say anything just gave me the book. I don’t know how old I was but I do know I was exactly 13.5 when I got my first one. I hated them, they stuffed up everything, like family holidays with my dad – I hated anyone knowing. Later on I found the pill and the ones that you could keep on taking and have no periods, yay! Also, I could never use tampons (never have, couldn’t get them in when I was young and later on just couldn’t be bothered). Now I have a Mirena and no periods. Wonderful. I am 47 so I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m in menopause and don’t know it but who cares? My GP told me I was peri-menopausal when I was about 42 and started heating up 🙂
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Oh no! That’s was rather typical back then I think. I’m so lucky to have had a nurse mum. It was embarrassing sometimes, but I always had the true facts and never felt ashamed or weird about anything.
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I’m not sure when I knew, I had the concept floating around but not much detail and then got my period in grade 6. My mum sat me down for the talk and I basically said um too late!
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I was like that with sex. I have no recolection of learning about it, I just kind of always knew about it.
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I got mine when I was a 11 the day before we were flying to the UK to spend 3 months sightseeing and living with family. I’m now 41.5 and still have nothing but trouble with it. I finally got a Mirena on my 40th birthday which has helped a bit but hasn’t stopped them completely. Still having periods that last for 14 days, with migraines and cramps.I have wanted a hysterectomy since my early 30’s and have been told I’m too young, I might want more children, blah, blah. Told my GP just before Christmas that this is the year that it all comes out. But I’m holding off for a few months as I might possibly become an egg donor for friends who are desperately trying for a family.
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Oh no that’s the worst! I still have trouble too, I think that’s why I’m still angry about it because periods have never been that easy for me. How lovely of you to donate an egg! Good luck – if it goes through!
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Only yesterday I had “the talk” with my 10 year old daughter. Her school had some basic Puberty intro classes last year. Getting ready for the new school year, we packed an emergency kit of a new pair of undies and a couple of pads into her school bag. She looked repulsed and as if she was being sentenced to something horrible. She’s resisting allowing me turning it into too much of a bonding experience!!
I’m 42. I started mine when I was 12. I was on a school camp & remember feeling a bit yuck, the devastated when I realised why. My mum hadn’t prepared me, I think it was just assumed that because I had an older sister that I already knew more than I did.
As well as the usual tummy aches, mood swings etc, I also get real deep aches in both my knees on he 1st day. I’ve never heard anyone else complain about period knees? -
I don’t think there is any nice way to say it, and if anyone figures it out let me know so I can use it on my 2 daughters! I had 3 older brothers and I remember mum sending them all out of the room so she could explain to me what a period was because I heard other girls talking about it at school, I think I was about 8 when I found out and about 11 when I ‘became a woman’. I’m terrified, because everything I hear recently says that girls are starting earlier.
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Haha, I was verrry late to the game (15 and a half), so no one cared – including my mum! She just said “well, surely by now you know what to do, so here are some pads, tell me when you need more”! I was seriously into dancing then, and all it took was one dance class wearing a pad for me to immediately lock myself in the toilet and not come out until I figured out how to use tampons, haha. Growing up with two older brothers and their turd mates meant I prematurely found out about all manner of revolting shit, so I can’t pinpoint when I found out about periods. But I do remember being about 7 years old, in the living room with Mum and Dad, and somehow the topic came up. They clued on to the fact that I apparently knew what periods were, but didn’t believe me at all. They demanded that I tell them what it meant right then and there if I was so clever, but I was so embarrassed to say it out loud that I had to whisper it in Mum’s ear “it’s when blood comes out of your fanny!” and she and Dad were mortified and laughed their arses off. She asked if I knew why that happens and I was like “there’s a reason?!”
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Ugh, traumatic! I learned about it in 4th grade, 10 years old, in health class. They separated the boys and girls. I was horrified! My friends didn’t seem too worried, so I pretended that is was no big deal.
So, I got my period at my family reunion, my absolute favorite thing about summer, when I was 12. I was angry, I don’t remember being so angry at anything in all my years. I felt like crap, I didn’t have any supplies and certainly wasn’t going to ask for any. I just wadded up toilet paper and hoped for the best. Did I say I was angry?
Every single time I got my period after that was awful, I wasn’t good at keeping track. It ruined vacations and generally made my life hell, especially the last few years I had it and even the days I didn’t. One of the best things was the day I had a hysterectomy, I was 37. Best thing I’ve ever done. I have endometriosis, so the doctor cleaned all that up during the surgery as well. It’s been 5 years now. Still feeling great!
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1956 – 12 years of age – In toilet, shock horror, what was wrong with me, called for Mother who opened door and with only arm showing handed me a booklet, a belt and hand made pad of old material (white) shaped as a pad. No prior knowledge and no discussion after. I started High School the same day – a w k w a r d . Funnily enuf the primary memory is of the little booklet, not the content but the feel of the pages, a bit glossy, overall effect of cleanliness and good health which the blue and white of the booklet seemed to convey to me.
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Got mine when I was 12 1/2. Was at my grandma’s and by then I already knew what it was all about because both my cousins who were the same age as I was, had already had them. Let’s just say, I was totally ecstatic to finally get it (youngest of the 3 cousins) and because it meant I didn’t have to get nagged at by my mum to pray (Muslim women are excused from praying and fasting when they are having their periods) and that I could use that as an excuse whenever I was too lazy to pray! Hahahhaha bad of me I know. :p
