was chatting to one of my mates recently and she told me this horrific story about her husband’s mother who was a victim of an internet scam. It wasn’t just your typical ‘transfer me $10,000 so I can move to Australia and marry you’ kind of thing, it was much more calculated than that.
This guy had convinced her mother-in-law to film a sexy video and then he’d used it to blackmail her for money. He said she had to pay him $25,000 otherwise he’d send the video to her boss, who he’d already managed to friend on Facebook. Her mother-in-law is recently divorced and this was her first ever experience of online dating. My friend’s husband thought he’d given her enough warning about the potential dangers of online dating but scammers are getting sneakier and we need to make sure that our parents are protected. If your parents are over the age of 50, it’s highly likely they aren’t as internet savvy as you think. Single retirees looking for love and friendship online can be sitting ducks for internet scammers so it’s really important to take these steps to make sure your parents’ retirement funds aren’t wiped out leaving them broke for the rest of their life. Here’s some advice on how to protect your parents from online scammers.
Check in with them often
Internet scammers prey on lonely people so the more isolated your parents are, the more likely they will fall into the typical traps of fraudsters. If you have a parent who is single and using the internet to meet people, it’s mandatory to talk to them about the dangers of online dating. Make sure you enquire about the people they’re speaking to, where these people are from and what kind of things they’re talking about. Internet scammers are masters at luring vulnerable people into trusting them with lengthy and intimate conversations, where they make their victim doubt their family and start trusting them over everyone else.
Teach them to be defensive online
Make sure your parents know not to share personal information online. Obviously they should never share birth dates, bank information or drivers licence information but they also need to be careful with less obvious questions. If they’re chatting to someone who keeps asking them questions about their first pet, or their first car, it’s likely that they’re trying to get security question information that banks use to verify your identity. They don’t have to be totally paranoid online but just make sure they’re aware of scams like this.
Look for warning signs
Internet relationships that remain on the internet for an extended period of time should be setting off alarm bells. A legitimate person should not be hesitant about video calling or meeting someone in real life and scammers will rarely do either of those things. If your parent is regularly video calling someone, make sure they know to be careful what they say and do because they could be recorded. If they’re going to meet someone in real life, make sure it’s in a public place and that they tell you where they will be and for how long.
Be patient and answer their questions
It can be really frustrating when parents ask seemingly obvious questions but I would much rather my mother text me ‘Is it okay to buy things on Etsy?’ rather than get scammed online by a store than doesn’t exist or is notoriously dodgy. If you act like a brat every time your parents ask you an internet question, they’re going to stop asking you and they might just accidentally transfer their retirement money to scam superfund and lose it forever.
Teach them the one golden rule
Never, ever give money to anyone ever. They can buy products from reputable stores but they are never, ever allowed to transfer money to people they have never met, spoken to or video called.
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Do have an older single parent? Are they dating online? Does it worry you?
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12 Comments
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Oh I feel so sorry for this lady Smaggle. I hope that she got it all sorted. Great article and great reminder, I am constantly reminded that my parents aren’t as internet savvy as they make out!
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They’re still trying to sort it now I think. It’s pretty horrific. Mama Smags is pretty savvy but every now and then I have to properly explain things to her.
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<3 … you are a gem smags! looking after the senior citizens!
good on you! … yes we need help!
you are so right we aren't anywhere near a internet savvy as you guys!
I'm not single or doing those things but I am so paranoid about this that I limit myself!
my daughter helps me and sig other is quite good and reasonably savvy and his son helps too!
I don't go on facebook or instagram and still feel a bit vulnerable when skyping my daughter!
an internet geek once said "if you wouldn't write it on your letterbox don't put it out there in cyber space!" I've listened to him! … love to you smags! … m:)X-
Absolutely! That’s an excellent thing to say! You’re quite safe here by the way! I’m a legit real life person. 🙂
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Oh my gosh, this is horrific. Such a brilliant post. I hope it gets shared to many older peeps who are spending a lot of time online.
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It happens way more often than people think so I thought it was a good idea to write about it!
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Great post. It happens much more often than people realise- there was a fabulous Australian Story or maybe 4 corners a few years ago really opened my eyes. Also alot I found of shame felt by those who are duped.
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That’s the thing everyone acts like these people who get duped are really stupid but a lot of the time they’re just lonely and think they’re helping out a friend.
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Feel so sorry for your friend’s parent – hope it sorts out soon. My parents are not in the single or dating scene (at least, not as far as I know … hmmm), and Dad is pretty savvy (Mum has very little idea, but she has Dad to help). Consequently, they go so far the other way. They view Facebook, online papers, etc, and my blog, but never comment – too risky apparently (I get verbal feedback, so that is nice). I guess it is better than the alternative!
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Mama Smaggle is the same! She actually proof reads my blog so she’s pretty savvy but she draws the line at commenting on blogs.
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Not all of us “oldies” are clueless. Some of us have been involved with computers and the internet early on. Some of us have and do work in that field. People of all ages can get duped. For example, a friend who is decades younger than me flew off to a strange city to meet a man whom she only knew from World of Warcraft. I couldn’t talk her out of it but at least I got her to meet him in a very public place.
The encounter turned out OK but it could have as easily turned out very badly. I think it’s important for everyone to be on guard online, all the time, regardless of her/his age. It’s sad that we have to be so extremely careful, but that’s the world today.
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Such an important issue! Sofija Stefanovic just released a penguin short about online dating scams, heartbreaking and beautifully written. Lots of good info in it too though if anyone has a loved one going through the same thing. http://www.penguin.com.au/products/9780143572121/you-re-just-too-good-be-true-penguin-special
