oes anyone else find dress codes really terrifying? There always seems to be a big gap between what the hosts think ‘dressy casual’ means and what their guests think ‘dressy casual’ means.
I personally always err on the side of being over dressed rather than under dressed and I think this is a pretty good rule of thumb. Here’s my very rough beginner’s guide to dress codes… I may be met with some disagreement here but these are the rules I follow.
White Tie
Ladies – You need to look as much like a queen at her coronation ball as humanly possible. Aim to not fit inside a car. Think SJP on her first wedding day. Stairs should be hard.
Men – Go to a men’s formal wear store and throw money at the problem… but also wear tails.
Black Tie
Ladies – Wear something long. The modern interpretation of dress codes says it’s okay to wear short dresses as long as they’re fancy but if an invite says ‘black tie’ it really means keep your ankles covered. If it’s modern black tie and you know shorter dresses are appropriate just make sure your frock is dipped in gold or designed by McQueen to make up for the length.
Men – Go to a men’s formal wear store and throw money at the problem… but also wear a tux.
Formal
Ladies – You can get your pins out for this one but dress in luxe fabrics. Think sequins and lace. No cotton summer dresses allowed. If you wore it to the beach last summer, don’t wear it to a formal event.
Men – Go to a men’s formal wear store and throw money at the problem… but also wear a suit.
Dressy Casual
Ladies – No blue jeans.
Men – No blue jeans.
Everyone – Seriously… no blue jeans.
The exception to the rule: If you’re a fashion design student or a model you might be able to pull it off… actually no. Just don’t. No blue jeans. It’s not cool.
Casual
Everyone – ask the host. ‘Casual’ is so bloody ambiguous it always needs clarification.
Note to hosts: Don’t write ‘casual’ on invitations. No one knows what it means.
Wedding Bonus
Ladies – look hot but don’t look hotter than the bride or we’ll cut you.
Men – Iron your shirt, have a shower and don’t wear jeans unless you got approval from the brides actual mouth. Matching socks would be nice but we won’t hold our breath.
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Are you a dress code ninja? Or are you a bit fancy free with your party attire?
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26 Comments
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Omg, yes. I once when to a wedding where they said the dress code was ‘smart casual’. Now… to me (and probably most of the world) ‘smart casual’ means something you’d wear on a night out to dinner.
Her brother-in-law interpreted this as dress jeans and a nice dress shirt (which, technically is kind of how I interpret smart casual too), but she was horrified that he suggested wearing this! She expected slacks and a nice shirt.
In the end, most people went for semi-formal, suits and ladies in nice dresses. I think everyone erred on the side of overdressing. I wish people would be clear about what they want in a dress code.
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I just do not believe there is any such thing as dress jeans. It drives me nuts. I also think if you receive a paper invitation to a party, that means dress fancy. Always. If you get a text message, wear jeans. If it comes in an envelope, wear proper pants.
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Haha true. I would never think to wear jeans to a wedding. Though I really think she confused people by writing ‘smart casual’ on a wedding invitation – especially a wedding that wasn’t on the beach. 🙂
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You missed cocktail? The most important one of all lol. I think dress codes in Australia are pretty useless. Not many invitations even have them and when they do they say absurd things like formal/cocktail/smart casual. That was actually on a work christmas party invite i went to!. So um, like pretty much anything?
It resulted in the guys wearing clubbing wear – jeans and tshirts and the girls ranging from obscenely short cocktail/ clubbing dresses to full length evening gowns. To be honest though, i think that would have happened no matter what the invite said, young Aussies don’t seem to care much about that sort of thing on the whole.-
I did miss cocktail! I think it’s because cocktail is also a really stupid thing to write on invite. What does that even mean? It’s so true about young Aussies not having a clue about appropriate clothing. If I see one more belly button at a fancy event I’m going to lose my shit. I’m not a prude, I just think if you’re at a fancy do, keep your tummy covered. If you’re a boy or a girl.
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Probably will never be invited to a white tie event in my lifetime (or black tie for that matter), but good to know what would be expected! I used to know a lady who never wore dresses or skirts – don’t think she owned any. Always wore shorts, jeans or pants. Even to weddings – dressy version, but still … Not sure about ladies wearing pantsuit to a wedding… Xx
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I once wore a white pantsuit to a wedding, which I’m sure is a ghastly faux pas to most people. However, I cleared it with the bride first (she loved the suit and her dress was peach so she was fine with it), and my husband was in the bridal party wearing black with silver tie and pocket square so I made my accessories silver to match. The groom even took our photo on the day and we looked quite good 🙂 But it’s only something I would do with a very good friend (as this bride and groom were and remain) and never without getting the bride’s ok!
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Sounds like you put a lot of thought into it Mel – bet you and hubby looked fab. And absolutely anything is ok if it’s been cleared with the bride! x
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I should have added a caveat that women in suits is the classiest and hottest thing ever. And also definitely getting the bride’s okay is the way to go. I’ve been to lots of weddings where the women wear suits and it rocks. Always appropriate.
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White tie is like a deb ball. I’ve never been to a white tie event but I’ve seen what some people were planning to where to a white tie event and I was like ‘Whhhhhaaaaat????’
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two that I find are important are also “after 5” and “business casual”. I like your rule though – no blue jeans. Nothing says “I have made no effort” more than blue jeans”.
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Totally! And for some men it’s like cutting their balls off. I’m like ‘Get a pair of nice pants and quit being a baby!’.
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You know what annoys me … when you get invited to a wedding and the invite says black tie and so because they have specifically requested it, you do the right thing and go and buy a bloody new long dress that you will probably never wear again (because you are short and would probably never choose to wear a long dress if you could avoid it and have lot of gorgeous knee length dresses that are miles better) and then the immediate family including mother of the bride and groom and siblings are all wearing short (knee length) dresses. Oh lordy!! Can you tell how annoyed I was at that?? FFS!
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YES!!! Annoyance central. I personally think asking people to dress black tie for weddings is difficult because it’s expensive and you can’t really wear the dress again but if it says that just do it!
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I totally agree . . . dress codes are important and should always be checked upon if unclear. The amount of weddings or formal events I’ve gone to where there are jeans and even SHORTS on display, I’ve seen long white gowns at weddings that weren’t on the bride and most recently a sequinned mini and bustier at a black tie gala. SRSLY PPL.
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I’ve got a 6 foot 5 cousin who has a shorts suit that he wears to casual summer weddings and he looks magnificent in it but he’d never wear it to a formal event. Honestly – don’t even wear cream to a wedding. It’s not cool.
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Probably the best break down of dress codes I’ve ever written! So last week we had our ‘shine’ themed event and this weekend I’m headed to a ‘sparkle’ themed birthday party. Are they not the most Sonia Specific Dress Codes ever?!
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Now those are dress codes I understand! I hope you’re sparkling up a storm 🙂
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And please, no cleavage at a funeral… My cousin actually wore a low cut cocktail/clubbing dress at our grandfather’s funeral… and she was giving the reading. I nearly slapped her right there in the chapel.
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Oh my lord yes! And there’s really no such thing as ‘tasteful’ cleavage. Just cover the girls up for sombre occasions.
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There are some MAJOR advantages to working at home – dress code – daggy!
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I can’t work in daggy clothes – it’s like my brain doesn’t work! I get properly dressed every day with make-up and everything. I guess old habits die hard. 🙂
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Love this! I get really thrown by ‘smart casual’ in particular! Like you say, always err on the side of overdressed. You can always take some things off (accessories – not your top haha) or dress them down if you are overdressed (i.e. take off that bedazzled jacket or take off that heavy eye shadow in the bathroom), but if you’re under dressed, you’ve got nowhere to go!
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I will never dress down if I’m over dressed! I love it! 🙂
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I have a bunch of rules that I never know whether are actual rules or just me rules. Like never wear a cotton dress to evening things (unless it’s super casual). I mean, they are called day dresses for a reason, right. And never wear sequins during the day. Maybe to a music festival or something but never to work. Same with fishnets. I guess too, I live keeping fancy, going out stuff for going out. If you wear something to work, it doesn’t feel special any more.
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Oh totally with you on the wearing something special to work thing. I never wear sequins anyway so there’s no danger of wearing them to work! 🙂
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