’ve been writing in the online space for almost a decade and I’m in an advice giving genre so I cop a lot of negativity. It happens almost daily because I have nine years worth of content on my blog. This means that most days someone will stumble across something I wrote six years ago and get really pissed off about it.
I got my first piece of negative feedback within my first week of blogging and it was in response to a piece a wrote called Ballet Style. The person wrote ‘For fucks sake. This isn’t ballet style at all! Eat a dick!!!’
I was devastated. Absolutely stunned and I was in a stupor for hours about it. I thought about how to reply – should I email them? Should I publicly comment? Should I try to track them down? And then it hit me – this person is a complete cock-womble and not worth my time at all.
Dr Karl (the most sensible person in the world) says that every time someone hurls non-sensical abuse at you on the internet you need to image that they’re a drunk person sitting on the street, swigging wine out of a brown paper bag. They’ve probably got vomit on their top and they’re slurring their words and not making any sense. When someone like that yells at you on the street, what do you do? You avoid them and ignore them. Every single time. You don’t go up to them and say ‘I’m so sorry if anything I said offended you.’ and you don’t go up to them say ‘I’m blocking you because you’re an asshole.’ – you just walk away. And I do that nearly every single day.
This week on Straight and Curly, Kelly and I are discussing negative feedback and how we cope with it. This was a weirdly emotional episode to record but it was wonderfully cathartic. Kelly and I are both Type A so admitting that our lives are anything less than perfect is really difficult for us so this will make for some pretty interesting listening.
I also discuss the gut wrenching day I read a review of Straight and Curly where someone said I was an idiot who kept interrupting all the time with my air-headed opinions. The hardest part about reading that feedback was that this person, despite being incredibly mean was also correct. Awkward.
Stacey and I also have a brand spanking new episode of Sweet Teen Club out this week and we’re talking about The Craft. ‘Light as a feather, stiff as a board, light as a feather, stiff as a board…’
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How do you cope with negative feedback? Are you in a profession where you get that a lot?
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P.S Also you should totally sign up for my newsletter. It’s full of cool stuff.
15 Comments
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-Gives you a virtual hug- Dr Karl is right!
I work in communications and media for a public transport company… so yeah, we get buckets of negative feedback – sometimes to my face when I have to go out and do community consultation. A person once told me that (when we were presenting a new network concept and a particular bus was coming down their street) whoever designed that must have been drunk that day at work. It wasn’t my design, but he didn’t know that. Wtf, person?
This person also told me that while we said we did press advertising they were convinced there was NONE done. Even though I have the very newspapers to prove they ran, unfortunately I can’t argue back much as the face of the company.
It’s especially hard when I know everyone in my workplace is super passionate about public transport and providing good things for the community, but people don’t always see that. I’ve learned to not take it personally and have a bit of a laugh at the really out there negative comments people say (especially when it’s not constructive feedback – just name calling).
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Author
Oh my goodness that sounds like a nightmare. Particularly when you work in an area where everyone has an opinion on what you do. I’d get so grumpy! 🙂
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Oh, I’m so in a profession where I get the negative feedback. As an author, those 1 star reviews on Amazons can really sting. I think the worst was one telling me I had no talent and to give up writing forever. Ouch.
Getting away from the computer and doing real life things gives some perspective but the worst part is that a few bad reviews can bring the average down and make it impossible to book promotions etc. so the financial hurt lasts long after the feelings are mended.
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Yeah that’s a whole different thing isn’t it? Negative feedback in the modern age is so much more than feedback it’s a reputation and a ranking. Gosh people can be mean sometimes can’t they?
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It amazes me the things people will say, I ponder what sort of miserable lives and upbringings that some people must have whereby they forget the whole “If you can’t say something nice…” thing.
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I know! I’m the same. I just wonder what bowl of horrible hate cereal they ate that morning.
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Everyone is entitled to their opinion but if it’s not done in a constructive manner there is absolutely nothing gained by sharing it, so they can jog on. I often think that keyboard warriors who spout their bitchy comments are the sort that wouldn’t dare be able to say it face to face so live out that fantasy protected by their screens. I’m not going to pretend I haven’t looked at an outfit post on Instagram and gone “Ooh girl, no” but I just scroll on by because the only thing gained by me making that point public results solely in someone feeling bad and I’m not about that life.
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Exactly – if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. People are weird. I also don’t think that by posting an outfit on Instagram you’re asking for an opinion. Unless you’re actually asking for an opinion.
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I have been going through this for going on 4 days straight and wasn’t sure weather I should respond to all the nasty comments one person even gave me a death threat. All I did was give my opinion on a story that had just broke and it was a very small part of that story but the video I watched of the story portrayed a very different story to the one that eventually later that night fully came out. But its going into 5 days now and when I woke up this morning yet again more abuse. When will this abuse stop and how long does a person sit back and try not to respond. Feeling very depressed angry and fearful.
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I don’t feed trolls. Most trolls want a response. It’s best to just keep on keeping on.
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