o you have any friends who have weird issues about certain things? I have a mate who used to live in France and she gets very annoyed if you only kiss one of her cheeks instead of both. She says it makes her feel ‘half finished’. Jim from Mr and Mrs Romance can’t stand it when people leave the toilet seat up. Both lids must be closed unless the toilet is being used. Fair enough. Mr Smaggle hates it when I crack my knuckles. None of these things bother me very much but they’re very important to the people who get annoyed by them. I like how different things affect people differently. Makes the world a much more interesting and irritating place. I’m travelling at the moment and my face twitchy things are always worse when I’m in a foreign country. These are few things that really get my goat. I’m sure some people haven’t even registered these things…
Phones with low batteries
I have a blogging friend (name rhymes with Shmoog) who loves to send me screen shots of her phone on low battery. 12%, 3%, 1%. It’s madness. If my phone is less than 50% I start freaking out. I’m a chronic podcast listener and 50% will barely last me an hour train ride. What the hell would I do if my phone battery went flat? Be present in the moment on a train? No. I won’t do it.
Untied shoe laces
*Person with untied shoelaces walks by*
Me – ‘Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to yourself?’
Newsagencies with untidy lolly counters
When I was a teenager I worked in a newsagency and it was my job to clean the lolly counter every weekend. I’d take all the lollies out, give the counter a good scrub and then put all the chocolate bars and gum packets back, perfectly lined up with all the labels facing the right way. If I go into a newsagency and their lolly counter is untidy, I want to ask them where their Carly is at. She needs a talking to. She’s letting the team down.
Open cupboard doors when I’m trying to sleep
Nope. All bad things live in cupboards. Serial killers, ghosts, axe murderers and growly, snarly monsters. Cupboard doors will protect you from these things but only if they’re fully closed. Some scary things are shapeshifters – they can liquify like the terminator. A door open a crack is almost worse than a fully opened door. It’s just the way it is.
People who push in line
Most people I know won’t even notice if someone pushes in line. Me? I’m like Hawk Eye Jacobs. I can see when people are going to push in before they’ve even decided to do it themselves. Mr Smaggle is always very calm and tries to tell me that it doesn’t matter but he’s actually wrong. It matters very much. It’s not the natural order of things. I almost disowned one of my high school friends when she tried to push in line one day. It makes me seethe.
What about you? What are you weird pet peeves? Things that annoy you but don’t seem to annoy anyone else?
Are we mates on Facebook yet?