5 Things That Make My Face Twitch

5 Things That Make My Face Twitch
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o you have any friends who have weird issues about certain things? I have a mate who used to live in France and she gets very annoyed if you only kiss one of her cheeks instead of both. She says it makes her feel ‘half finished’. Jim from Mr and Mrs Romance can’t stand it when people leave the toilet seat up. Both lids must be closed unless the toilet is being used. Fair enough. Mr Smaggle hates it when I crack my knuckles. None of these things bother me very much but they’re very important to the people who get annoyed by them. I like how different things affect people differently. Makes the world a much more interesting and irritating place. I’m travelling at the moment and my face twitchy things are always worse when I’m in a foreign country. These are few things that really get my goat. I’m sure some people haven’t even registered these things…

Beautiful fashionable stylish girl goes

Phones with low batteries

I have a blogging friend (name rhymes with Shmoog) who loves to send me screen shots of her phone on low battery. 12%, 3%, 1%. It’s madness. If my phone is less than 50% I start freaking out. I’m a chronic podcast listener and 50% will barely last me an hour train ride. What the hell would I do if my phone battery went flat? Be present in the moment on a train? No. I won’t do it.

Untied shoe laces

*Person with untied shoelaces walks by*

Me – ‘Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to yourself?

Newsagencies with untidy lolly counters

When I was a teenager I worked in a newsagency and it was my job to clean the lolly counter every weekend. I’d take all the lollies out, give the counter a good scrub and then put all the chocolate bars and gum packets back, perfectly lined up with all the labels facing the right way. If I go into a newsagency and their lolly counter is untidy, I want to ask them where their Carly is at. She needs a talking to. She’s letting the team down.

Open cupboard doors when I’m trying to sleep

Nope. All bad things live in cupboards. Serial killers, ghosts, axe murderers and growly, snarly monsters. Cupboard doors will protect you from these things but only if they’re fully closed. Some scary things are shapeshifters – they can liquify like the terminator. A door open a crack is almost worse than a fully opened door. It’s just the way it is.

People who push in line

Most people I know won’t even notice if someone pushes in line. Me? I’m like Hawk Eye Jacobs. I can see when people are going to push in before they’ve even decided to do it themselves. Mr Smaggle is always very calm and tries to tell me that it doesn’t matter but he’s actually wrong. It matters very much. It’s not the natural order of things. I almost disowned one of my high school friends when she tried to push in line one day. It makes me seethe.

What about you? What are you weird pet peeves? Things that annoy you but don’t seem to annoy anyone else?

 

Are we mates on Facebook yet?

Carly is the founding editor of Smaggle which launched in 2007 back when blogging was weird. She has appeared in The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age, Cosmopolitan and Cleo magazines. Hoop earrings are totally her thing and she almost got run over by Myf Warhurst while out jogging one day.

18 Comments

  1. J 10 months ago

    I agree with the low battery one. I solve it by always bringing an external battery with me. Mine holds 11 full iPhone charges.

    • Author

      I have a permanent charging case on my phone. I wouldn’t last a full day without it.

  2. Mrs Woog 10 months ago

    LOW BATTERY IS TOTALLY LIVING ON THE EDGE!

  3. Reannon 10 months ago

    I can’t sleep with cupboard doors open either! Also must have all blinds closed the same way- facing upwards. I get pissed when anyone squeezes the toothpaste from the middle & automatically squeeze it back from the bottom so the middle fills out. Weirdo!

  4. Missy D 10 months ago

    I often run my battery low and sleep with my cupboard door open (not the bedroom door though). 😉

    I also believe toilet lids should be down unless being used. I just think it looks more tidy.

    Other things that bother me:
    – People who write ‘a lot’ as one word.
    – Women who wear white bras under white tops.

  5. Kathryn 10 months ago

    I hate toilet lids down. I always think they are hiding a nasty surprise. I won’t use a public toilet unless the lid is up except in dire circumstances.

    Pushing in line is just plain bad manners. I hate people putting their feet on furniture. If it’s their own furniture, then okay but in cafes or on trains etc, just no. Who knows what crap (literal or figurative) is on their shoes. I have very strong opinions on crockery too. I have to eat food out of the “right” bowl or plate.

    • Author

      Oh my god that’s so funny that’s literally the opposite of Jim. It IS bad manners. Like who raised people who do that? My mother would be mortified if I did that.

  6. Okay, you asked for it!

    People who will come and sit in the toilet cubicle next to you when there are loads of other options. This also applies to tables at restaurants, seats on a bus, grassed areas, the beach, pretty much anywhere that I can be seated because you can bet the next person who walks in will be all up on me, even my family and friends can’t believe how often it happens.

    People who try and have full conversations in the toilet. No. Everyone at work knows not to follow me in or they tell me to wait while they go.

    Cavalier approaches to rubbish bins. I am all about the proper separation and it annoys me when the wrong bin is used and no care factor given.

    Loud music coming through headphones or worse, blatant playing of music, games or videos in public sans headphones. I will make an exception for kid entertainment at acceptable low volume.

    People touching me on the bus. Seriously, back up. Especially the feel of someone else’s long hair on your bare arm, it makes me gag.

    Nail filing and other personal grooming in public. Like, next to me on a bus.

    Non black-out curtains in hotel rooms. I need pitch black, all doors and cupboards closed and the silence of the tomb.

    Smoking in general.

    Shuffling feet.

    Noisy eating, chewing, sniffing and snorting.

    Messy inboxes. As an “inbox zero” type person, 2343534 unread messages makes me twitchy.

    Wet spoons in the sugar / coffee

    Incorrect spelling and grammar on public signage. Okay, everywhere.

    I’ll stop now or I’ll just keep listing things off.

    • Author

      Oh my god yes! Like, use another toilet! WTF?

      And loud music through headphones is the WORST!

  7. alice 10 months ago

    This is classic! I’m with you on the cupboard doors & pushing in.

    Also have to add;

    – people walking incredibly slowly in front of you or stopping and having a chat or checking their phone in a thoroughfare like at the bottom of an escalator – seriously?

    – people chewing gum or food with their mouth open anywhere near me – you might as well crawl out of a drain for the look i will unashamedly give you

    – people who sit on the aisle seat on public transport when it’s crowded with or without their bag on the window seat, we know what you’re doing – don’t be a jerk.

    -people who won’t help you help them. i’m regularly the organiser/ advance orderer of office lunches – don’t make me email you 3 times for your order.

    ahhh that was quite therapeutic

  8. Jess 9 months ago

    I’m with you when it comes to cupboard doors and pushing in, and one more to note- people who chew/eat loudly. Literally drives me mad!

  9. Nina 9 months ago

    When people leave those clear plastic protective stickers on their electronics for years after they’ve owned them (often found on microwave screens and air conditioner remote controls). It’s even more revolting if they’ve started to peels off and get crusty in the corners. Yuck. I get an enormous amount of pleasure from peeling them off when I’m in a hotel or no one is looking… 😉

  10. Sue-Ellen 9 months ago

    Champagne served in wine glasses, dessert spoons instead of soup spoons (when eating soup), entree forks with main knives, bread and butter knives with main forks…..and no serviettes !! It’s. Just. Not. Right. Twitch,Twitch,Twitch…..

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