eing a good friend when you’re a kid is really easy. You just need to find someone else who likes The Babysitter’s Club books and you’re sorted. You might even be oblivious to the fact that her parents don’t like your parents. It doesn’t matter because you have important things in common and nothing like money, romantic relationships or socio-economics gets in the way of that.
I often get emails from people asking how to make friends as an adult and how to maintain their current friendships.
I honestly don’t have the answers. Half the time I think my friends hate me but that’s just my overthinking brain. If you don’t have too much trouble getting people to hang out with you, it’s pretty safe to say they like you. Here are few things I’ve done to keep my friendships intact over the years.
Manage your expectations
I don’t expect much from my friends which is why I think I have such great friendships. I literally want wine on a couch and an interesting conversation at a bare minimum. Even tea on a couch is great. Obviously most of my friends do much more than this for me but because I don’t expect it, it always comes a wonderful surprise.
Manage your friends expectations
I’m pretty blunt so people generally always know where they stand with me. I don’t do phone calls, music festivals, all night benders or disposing of dead things. I do everything else though like moving house, chemist runs, waiting for pregnancy test results, break up repairs and date rescues. All of my friends know this about me so if they need a bender buddy they know not to call the girl who needs to be in bed by 1am.
Having said that – Make an effort
Lots of my dearest friends live in my home town which is a 7 hour drive from where I live but my friendships with these people are just as strong as when I left 8 years ago. I always make the effort to see my people when I’m home and they’re wonderful at accomodating me and organising for the rest of our group to attend our get togethers.
This week on Straight & Curly, Kelly and I are talking about friendships. We also discuss the concept of adult best friends (I have one!) which is a really interesting concept and I’d love to get your opinion on it.
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Do you have an adult best friend? Or several people that are good friends?
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P.S Have you signed up for the free Crochet Coach granny square intro lesson yet?
4 Comments
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I have had the same best friend for 24 years. She is the only person I’ve never had a fight with. We’ll be best friends forever even though we have nothing in common but each other.
And I’ll listen later today but I am finding grown up female friendships increasingly hard to understand. My theory is I’m not perfect so I don’t expect my friends to be either. Problem is people aren’t as upfront as I am. I find that hard to deal with. Just tell me how you feel instead of acting weird!!!-
Author
Oh this is all so true! I’m way too honest and some people really struggle with that but I’m like why waste time beating around the bush? Life is way too short!
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I have a group of friends I feel close to and I know which one I can turn to for whichever crisis I’m having. My friendships are super important to me. Moving overseas has been a great new experience to understand adult friendships and how they grow and fit into daily life. Both near and far. New relationships have formed and old relationships have changed. It is an interesting process.
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That’s really hard. It’s something my partner and I have considered doing but I think I’d struggle with it a lot more than him. I already live 8 hours drive from my family and friends being an international flight away might kill me!
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