Have you ever wondered what girls do when they’re alone? I’m talking about all girls and anyone who identifies as a girl. Relationship status is irrelevant. Loved up ladies and theydies and free single gals alike partake in strange little rituals when left alone in their own habitat. I discreetly quizzed a few of my girlfriends to come up with a comprehensive list of what we complex females get up to when no one is around.
What do girls do when they’re alone?
- Eat a full days worth of meals from bed.
- Wax all the things.
- Practice our Oscar acceptance speeches in the bathroom mirror holding a vase.
- Eat whole things. Whole blocks of chocolate. Whole packets of chips. Whole cooked chickens.
- Dye our hair.
- Do celebrity lounge room workouts.
- Execute major pore extraction.
- Google our ex-boyfriends to see if they’re miserable.
- Try on all our clothes even though we aren’t going anywhere.
- Imagine what loved ones would say about us at our funeral.
- Face masks:often several in one evening.
- Sunbathe nude in the backyard.
- Try really hard not to chant ‘Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary’ in the mirror after we’ve been to the toilet.
- Tuck our pyjama bottoms into our socks because we’re cold and we don’t care.
- Eat cereal for dinner.
- Do number 2s with the door open.
- Cry and maybe watch ourselves in the mirror for a bit.
- Do fancy eye makeup. Remove it. Do it again but differently. Repeat.
- Play our favourite album and sing it really loudly and obnoxiously.
- Have hour-long phone conversations with our mothers.
- Binge watch trash TV.
- Come up with perfectly bitchy retorts for arguments that happened ages ago.
- Spend hours doing a ‘super professional’ looking fake tan that looks terrible the next day.
- Google that meanie from high school to see if they’re miserable.
- Practice for our interviews with Oprah.
- Freak ourselves out by imagining murderers/aliens/zombies staring at us through the window.
- Not wear pants.
- Watch makeup tutorials/cat videos on YouTube.
- Try to read classic literature and then give up and read the Ikea catalogue instead.
- Ditto with watching French films and ditching them for our Sex and The City.
- Practice the perfect amount of shaky voiced emotion for when Johnny Depp proposes to us.
Have you done any of the above? If you’re a dude, what do you get up to when left alone?
30 Comments
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Totally guilty of many of these…especially #10…glad I’m not the only one!
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I often do that in the car as well… It’s weird.
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LOL I have done 22 of them while alone.
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I’m pretty sure I’ve done most of them too!
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Yep to pretty much all of those! I thought I was the only one who did #22!
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I do it all the time! Wit of the stairway the French call it.
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I did them all this morning when my husband left the room for 20 minutes. Rachel x
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Nice one! Gotta make use of the time you have!
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I’m a wax wuss – I need to get somebody to do it for me.
Good idea re: the eye makeup. Must practice that.-
I can do my legs but everywhere else… nuh uh!
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So far today I’ve stayed in my pjs (and probably will for most of the day), used the bathroom with the door open, let the puppy on the bed, watched trashy tv and spent a lot of time on buzzfeed and pinterest. I love days home alone!
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They are THE BEST! Although the more I work from home the less I like it… because I have to do work!
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I used to many of those things alone, but now I have 3 kids so I’m pretty much never alone :-(. These days even things that SHOULD be done alone – like #2s and waxing usually have an audience. Sigh.
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I don’t have kids and even I find it hard to do beauty stuff because Mr Smaggle works from home and I still to maintain somewhat of an air of mystery!
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“Have you ever wondered what other women get up to when left completely alone?” – I spend most of my time wondering this very thing, I feel like I’ve been let into the secret society of women
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Excellent. Next time you leave Mrs Under at home know that this is what she’ll be doing.
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Uninterrupted reading is possibly all I have to add. Best Beloved has mastered the art of not noticing that he’s interrupting.
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Tell me about it! Boys just don’t get it sometimes!
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It’s odd, but I really enjoy listening to old school Christian hymns on Youtube when I’m alone, as my BF and I are both agnostics and I think he’d find it odd. I just like the music. Ditto with the bitchy retorts though.
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That IS odd… but super cute. Love it.
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This is funny. I know I am going to have a full evening alone after work today, and a few of these things are on my to-do list.
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HA! Which ones???
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Mainly 2, 4, 14, 19, 21, 22 and 28.
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Yep! I am so guilty of doing most of these things!!
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I had a feeling my friends and I weren’t alone!
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Bubble baths with a facemask! sometimes I also listen to audio books!
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I don’t think I’ve ever listened to an audio book outside of my car. Must try that one!
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I always tuck my pjs into my socks if I’m cold, even when people are around. When I’m cold, I don’t care.
And yes, if I’m alone, I will eat that whole block of chocolate – there’s no one around to judge me… heheh!
I also tend to not wear a bra – if I spend a day alone at home, what’s the point of putting one on?
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Boyfriend is going out tonight plan to do the majority, if not all, of these!
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