6 Awesome Things that Other People Love that Make me go WTF?

6 Awesome Things that Other People Love that Make me go WTF?
Carly Jacobs

 

Tattoos

I just don’t get tattoos, although obviously, some of them are insanely beautiful. I live in a very boho area and I’m often caught coping an eye full of a Rockabilly chick with sparrows on her chest but really. That shit is permanent. I’m fully aware that people with tattoos love them and seldom regret them, but I could no sooner permanently dye my skin, than I could stub cigarettes out on my arm.

Going to Nightclubs and Bars

I can’t understand why people would want to stand on sticky floors, surrounded by strangers, drinking expensive liquor, listening to bad music and trying to lip read because the music is too damn loud.

Watching Sport

So. Boring. Unless it’s figure skating and I’m laughing at Russia in their 80s sequins and shoulder pads, I’m not interested.

Going to the Coast

I don’t do beach. There’s no shade, no running water, no accessible toilets and no way to stop sand getting in my special area. Sure it’s lovely to have a shower, wear a pretty dress and sip cocktails after a day at the beach but that’s only because the beach sucks, and I’m celebrating because I’m not there anymore. I can also do number twos without resorting to what a family friend calls an ‘aqua turd’. I’m a snow baby. I do mountains. I do skiing. I do red wine in front of roaring fires. The beach is just far too variable for me.

Caring About Cars

I drive a Hyundai Getz. It’s the only car model in the world that I can accurately identify without reading the brand tag. When I’m out with my man he’s all ‘Flipping sweet… new Porshe GST 411 Excel… nice.’ I just don’t notice cars. Ever. I’m also completely aware that there’s no such thing as a Porsche GST 411 Excel, but that’s what it sounds like when people say car models at me. An indistinguishable combination of letters and numbers that I don’t give a rats about.

Attending Music Festivals

Unless Madonna, Cher, Whitney Housten (from 1992), Michael Jackson (when he was alive) and Pink were all to perform at the same festival, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever attend one. However I’ve seen photos of these so called ‘music festivals’ and they look awful. Sunburn, crowds, mud, drunk people, toilet lines, heat, flies, expensive and revolting food and serious potential for getting lost/mugged/groped. I know people who plan their whole summer around festivals and drop serious coin to get tickets for them. You couldn’t PAY me to go to one. Give me an air-conditioned theatre, a glass of champagne and a 30 piece orchestra any day.

I have respect for the enjoyment that most normal people get from these things, but I have decided that I must have a fairly vital lobe missing from my brain to have never been remotely impressed by any of the above.

What about you? What things did you miss the enjoyment injection on that everyone else seemed to get double doses of?

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19 Comments

  1. Nessbow 8 years ago

    I agree with each and every one of these.  I haven’t been to the beach in eight years- after I was stung rather badly by a jellyfish.  I tell people I don’t want to go to the beach beacuase I now have a pathalogical fear of swimming in the ocean, but in reality I think that jellyfish did me a favour by giving me an excellent excuse never to visit the beach again. 

  2. SillyJaime 8 years ago

    The only ones I don’t agree with you on are Tattoos and Watching Sports.  I’ve got 4 tattoos and I love them, and I totally watch professional Baseball (go Red Sox!).

    I’ve never understood going to nightclubs or bars.  This one time I went to a nightclub, but it was only to see a Guns ‘N Roses cover band (they rocked, by the way).  I was so confused about all the different rooms with all the different dance styles and craziness.  I just stayed in the stage room the whole time, even when the concert was over, because I hated the rest of it so much!  Also I’m not one for drinking.  With two alcoholic parents, drinking scares the ever living poo out of me.  So I don’t do it.

  3. Anonymous 8 years ago

    Well, I have to say that I totally and completely agree with every thing that you listed above. I do not enjoy any of it, although, I have to mention one thing, I do have a tattoo on my lower back, and yes I regret it because now it looks horribly faded. So yeah.

  4. Pam Power 8 years ago

    I agree with points 2,3,5 and especially 6. I’d also like to add: chick lit, staying up late, hot weather, spray tans & acrylic nails. Aren’t I a barrel of laughs!

  5. Kitcat291 8 years ago

    I used to love clubs, bars and festivals until I stopped drinking.  I’m with you on all the others. 

  6. LBB 8 years ago

    1. Anything relating to hipsters/being one
    2. Kings of Leon
    3. Offpring (the TV show)
    4. Camping (have had my fair share of it & reached the conclusion that a holiday shouldn’t involve tents, sleeping on the ground, public toilets)
    5. Prince Harry
    6. Lady Gaga

  7. Dr Na 8 years ago

    With you on festivals – I’ve decided it’s because while people individually can be lovely, en masse we turn into massive douches. Also: no toilet paper, paying $8 for a tinny of VB (a TINNY) and not ever really seeing or hearing properly the bands you’ve paid money to see.

    I realise as a lady I’m alone on this, and you in particular might punch me in the face for saying it, but I cannot stand Sex and the City. It makes me want to vom.

  8. Clms76 8 years ago

    A kindred spirit….I go to music festivals occasionally but don’t always enjoy them for the reasons mentioned. I tend to stay towards the back, away from the yobs and try & enjoy the music. Now I have realised I am just too old. And finally someone who gets my loathing of the beach….and nightclubs/bars….

  9. Erin 8 years ago

    I loathe music festivals…sooooo boring. I also really dislike watching YouTube videos with friends, you know when everyone is like “oh this one’s so funny” so you feel obligated to laugh and ugghhh

  10. Emmams 8 years ago

    I’m with you on nightclubs, the beach and music festivals.  I’m afraid I do have a deep fondness for tattoos, sport and cars though – but I am a wog, so it’s almost mandatory.
    I also don’t get camping (the only stars I sleep under are the five on the hotel), sing-alongs at parties (unless you’re Janis Joplin, put the guitar away!), and musicals (they make me want to crawl under the seats and hide).

  11. MEL 8 years ago

    I totally agree with bars (overpriced drinks surrounded by drunken sods), watching sports (try playing them instead), and cars (I prefer public transportation so I can do other things).

    Things I don’t get that many people like:
    1. Adam Sandler/Will Ferrell/Collin Farrell movies
    2. Beer (smells like urine)
    3. Bungee Jumping (plummeting to my death unless that bit of rubber holds? No thanks)

  12. Jules 7 years ago

    beaches are crap !!

  13. Tomas C T-Rayas 7 years ago

    damn…LIVE a little. i get the bar thing…i dislike 95% of bars.  i’m sorry you’ve chosen to shelter yourself so excessively.  i went to my first music festival a week ago and it was the time of my life. it felt good to not be under intensive care of air conditioning and other amenities modern day house holds spoil us with. you must be a very weak minded person to feel completely uneased without said treatment. i hope you appreciate the life you were born into and not in some third world country. but seriously…get the fuck out there and appreciate the live Talent that some artists choose to share with their audience. and as for crowds? what is wrong with them. Music brings people together. and as a wiseman once said, “the thing about music, is when it hits you feel No pain.” Music brings people together. The arts bring people together. Which is a wonderful phenomenon. Unless you want to be alone, then that is how you should be left. Sweet deal. No negative nancys near me please!

  14. Tomas C T-Rayas 7 years ago

    worst blog ever!

  15. seriously 7 years ago

    Will you marry me?

  16. Thalia 6 years ago

    Ha! I’m so there with you on the car thing…whenever my car loving boyfriend asks me if I think a car is “cool”, I look at the colour. Because that’s all that I get about cars.

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