We don’t dress our daughter in pink. Actually, that’s a lie. She came home from the hospital in a pink dinosaur onesie. Rad. Since then, however, pink hasn’t really been a big part of her wardrobe because I can never remember if it’s Wednesday and besides Regina George isn’t the boss of me.
I didn’t think this was that big a deal but it’s come up a few times recently. I’ve had several people notice that she doesn’t wear pink which is weird because she also doesn’t wear a top hat but I don’t see anyone complaining about that. I say ‘I’ because any comments about baby clothes are usually directed at the mother but I can assure you, Mr Smaggle has just as much say in her wardrobe as I do. She has these little oatmeal coloured bodysuits that look like grandpa thermals and he thinks she looks like a wee little baby fisherman in them so we bought two more. He’s totally here for her wardrobe, just as much as I am. Reminder to self: Look on eBay for a baby top hat. Mr Smags wants to dress her up like Winston Churchhill before she’s old enough to protest and I’m 100% with him. I wonder if you can get a baby-sized fake cigar…
Here are our thoughts on why our girl doesn’t wear pink.
1. Most of her clothes are hand-me-downs from her boy cousins
We hardly bought anything when our girl was born because my cousins had bags and bags of clothes to give us so we just put her in those. 99% of them weren’t pink. They also weren’t adorned with skulls and crossbones/monsters/footballs/cars/giant penises that loudly signal that they’re ‘boys’ clothes. They were just lovely, regular baby clothes so we didn’t have much desire to run out buy anything else. Plus we had a newborn. We were quite busy.
2. We also don’t dress her in lots of other colours
We’ve never once been asked why we don’t dress her in red, purple, yellow or fluoro green so why the focus on the absence of pink? We haven’t found much clothing we like in red, purple, yellow or fluoro green. Same with pink. Plus the poor wee poppet has inherited her pale AF parents’ vampire skin. As a result of this most colours make her look like she is a child of the un-dead. I once put her in a hand-me-down yellow bodysuit because it was the only clean thing I could find and before I could stop myself the words ‘Oh sweetie that’s so not your colour.’ slipped out of my mouth and I promptly changed her into something else. I mean, we’re not going to fight her when she’s two years old and wants to wear an acid green evening gown to the shops but until then we’re going to pick colours that make her look like a human baby and not a cold-blooded lizard creature.
3. We haven’t actually spent that much time thinking about it (even though this article may make you think otherwise)
It wasn’t a plan we just had a few onesies in blue, grey and navy and we just kept choosing them every time we dressed her. The brightly patterned Bonds onesies were great in summer but they were kind of hard to match with other clothing in winter when you start adding layers so as she grew out of those we replaced them with plainer ones. It just kind of happened. We weren’t planning a wardrobe for her, we just bought more of the stuff we liked and were using. Kind of like how adults buy clothes.
4. We hate separates
Our daughter has never worn a dress in her life. We can’t stand them bunching up when we pick her up and she’s learning to crawl so dresses are just a nightmare. Same with t-shirts and singlets. If it’s not a onesie, a romper or a pair of overalls, she’s not wearing it. We’re also super lazy – zippers only. We have a few things with press studs and we only use them when we’re super desperate. The point here (and there is one, I promise!) is that most pink clothing is in dress/skirt form. So logically she wears less pink because her lazy ass parents couldn’t be bothered adjusting skirts and dresses for her all day.
5. It’s hard to get pink clothes that aren’t covered in ruffles and frills
We have nothing against ruffles and frills aesthetically but they’re annoying. Food gets caught in them, she gets distracted by them. Seriously, I put her in a onesie that had a panda with flappy ears and she flicked and flicked these ears until they pissed her off and then she cried. I’d love to dress her in a stylish, plain pink, zippered onesie but you don’t stumble across them very often. I’d actually love some plain pink overalls but all the ones I’ve seen have glittery rainbows on them. The people who design glittery children’s items must not have children. That shit gets everywhere and my daughter is only 8 months old. I’m years away from peak glitter and it’s already all over my house. For the love of everything holy, stop it with the glitter.
6. She looks gorgeous in navy, grey and blue
We can’t see the point in arbitrarily putting her in pink when she looks so gorgeous in navy, grey and blue. She has blue eyes so she looks like a supermodel baby when we put her in blue.
7. She will have her own style one day but until then, she has our style
She can wear whatever she likes when she starts caring about it. Yes, she can wear pink and frills. She can be a mini-goth, she can wear suits and ties – whatever floats her boat. Until then, she’s wearing what we like (whatever is on sale at Bonds).
But doesn’t everyone think she’s a boy?
Yep, which is actually excellent because I have an experiment I’ve been working on. I recently discovered that all of my neighbours are called Greg. For real, I have three neighbours all called Greg. I was thinking about this in the shower the other day and I realised I’ve never met a baby called Greg but all these grown-up Gregs were babies at one point right? And then I was thinking about how hilarious it would be to meet a baby called Greg. Greg’s a fine name but a baby called Greg? Hysterical. Mr Smaggle and I have discussed it and the next time someone asks what our ‘son’s’ name is we’re going to say ‘Greg’ and see what happens. I’m so excited. When the opportunity presents itself, it’s sure to be the highlight of our year.
So in conclusion, the lack of pink in our daughter’s wardrobe is not a political statement, we don’t think pink is bad, we’re not surreptitiously trying to groom our daughter into not being overtly feminine. It honestly wasn’t even a conscious choice, it just kind of happened. She also has *some* pink clothing and we put her in it sometimes. She has more clothes that aren’t pink.
The main point? Dress your kid in whatever the hell you like and whatever the hell is convenient. If you like dressing your kid up in cute little totally impractical outfits – do that! I bloody love seeing kids in proper little outfits in the street. It’s adorable. You do you.
It’s also winter so we’re currently dressing our girl in anything that’s warm. When it’s summer, it will be all thighs, floral rompers and little old fashioned sandals. Divine!