3 Reasons Why Being Single Is Totally Wicked

By Carly Jacobs

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eing single is often seen as a temporary state of being. Almost transitional, but personally I think being in relationships is weird. I know that sounds strange coming from someone in a long term relationship but hear me out.

It’s hard to write this without sounding like a Bridget Jone’s style ‘smug married’ but it is what it is. I’m in an incredibly happy relationship, to the point where it’s almost gross. I’ve also been very consistently happy for 11 years. I keep waiting for the shine to wear off and for us to slip into long term relationship mediocrity but it hasn’t happened yet. We still have to grocery shop and clean the bathroom and panic at 3am in the morning, wondering at what stage you call an ambulance for intense gastro but it’s still bloody blissful. Even the shit bits are somehow awesome.

None of this means I don’t fanaticise about what my life could have been if I didn’t end up in a (probably) life long partnership. It was actually a part of my life plan, to be single until I was 35. Then maybe I’d meet a dude I didn’t hate and we’d gently co-habitate but with lots of freedom and possibly separate bedrooms. I pretty much planned to be single for most of my life.

That plan is definitely not happening now but alternative universe Carly would have been pretty bloody happy, because here’s why being single is pretty damned cool…

1. You get so much more done

Whenever I’m away from Mr Smaggle, I feel like I get given an extra 5 hours in the day. It’s not that he’s a giant time suck, it’s just that when you’re in a couple there’s lots of reciprocal waiting. Waiting for the shower, waiting while each other packs up their stuff before leaving the house, waiting for each other to wake up on the weekends, waiting until the other person gets home before you can go somewhere. It’s not bad and I don’t resent it but being single is like living in an amazing time machine that you’re the driver of. You can let passengers in if you like but you don’t have to. The rest of the time you’re driving solo, listening to the music you choose, eating the snacks you like and driving down the roads you want to drive down.

2. You don’t have to be considerate

If I lived alone, I’d crank my music really loudly in the morning and sing daggy musicals as I made my breakfast and got ready for the day. Although Mr Smaggle wouldn’t mind if I did this, it’s a bit rude to go full Mariah Carey at 6am when he’s trying to sleep. When he’s not around I pump my favourite tunes, eat all the chocolate without saving him any and watch hours and hours of shit shows he hates… and it’s awesome. I can also change my plans on a whim. Not that Mr Smaggle isn’t flexible – he totally is – but if we have plans to cook dinner together it’s a bit shit of me to ditch him to have a spontaneous dinner with a mate – something single people can just do whenever they feel like it without inconveniencing another person.

3. Your time is your own

When Mr Smaggle is away I never have to stand around for half an hour in camera stores while he looks at tripods. I never have to watch Top Gear. I never have to turn down the TV when his phone rings and I never have to stop at the shops on the way home because he’s run out of deodorant. Not that I mind doing any of the above, I really don’t, it’s just that when those things disappear for a weekend, I end up with all this stuff called ‘spare time’… and I like it.

I don’t want to sound like I resent being in a relationship. That’s the opposite of how I feel but relationships take a lot of work and a hell of a lot of compromise, even the really, really good ones. I wouldn’t choose any other life than the one I have withMr Smaggle but honestly? I love my ‘single’ weekends when he’s away and if my life had worked out differently and I had never met my him, I could see myself having a pretty fabulous solo life.

I never really saw myself sharing my life the way I have, which is a testament to how excellent Mr Smaggle is. If he was just an average dude, I would have ditched him ages ago and led the single gal life I always thought I was destined for. I just happened to have met a guy that fit perfectly into the life I wanted (and who is also the greatest human I’ve ever met) and so that’s how this single gal became very, very not-single. This is why I don’t think being single is a state of being that needs fixing or rectifying. Being in a relationship isn’t better than being single, it’s just different.

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Are you single? Coupled up? What do you miss about the opposite of your current relationship status?

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About Carly Jacobs

Carly is the founding editor of Smaggle which launched in 2007 back when blogging was weird. She has appeared in The Sydney Morning Herald, The Age, Cosmopolitan and Cleo magazines. Hoop earrings are totally her thing and she almost got run over by Myf Warhurst while out jogging one day.

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