I don’t iron clothes. Well actually that’s a lie. I have one dress that requires a quick steam before I wear it but it’s very fancy so it only comes out at weddings. I actually don’t know if I still own an ironing board. My iron has been missing for 2 years since my best mate borrowed it for a play. She returned it to me but I somehow lost it on the walk home from her house. Or maybe I didn’t and it’s hidden somewhere in my tiny apartment. Either way, I can’t locate my iron. And it doesn’t matter because I don’t iron.
It’s not that I don’t like ironing – I actually really do. I find it super relaxing. If I had a house that was bigger than a shoe box I could get right into it. What I hate about ironing, is getting the ironing board out. It always sucks no matter where you live, or where the ironing board is kept. It always hurts (either back from twisting or fingers from getting clamped) and it just makes me grumpy. If I could make the ironing board just appear in front me and then disappear again that would be ace.
Because of how much I hate setting up the ironing board, I simply don’t buy clothes that need ironing.
Here’s one on my favourite no-iron outfits…
Dress from Metalicus – it’s really, really old stock but if they made this dress again, I’d buy one in every colour. Get on it Metalicus. I’m tired of begging.
Leather jacket from Vinnies – I bought this a few weeks ago and I LOVE IT! Never taking it off. Dream jacket. It was also $20. I can’t get over it. Literally my best ever op shop score.
Boots from Ecco – It’s almost time to get these guys re-soled. I’ve almost worn all the tread off them!
Here are my tips for having an iron-free life…
Don’t buy clothes that require ironing
If you can help it all, just don’t. Go for stretch, jersey and knits. I used to work in an office and I didn’t own even one pair of ‘good’ black pants. I’ve also never worn a button up white shirt outside of a uniform. It’s a myth that you need to own these things. Straight cut, stretch black jeans look identical to pants and they don’t need ironing. A stretch wrap top will be more comfortable and will look just as professional as a tailored white shirt. If you work in an office and you like wearing corporate style tailored clothing that requires ironing, go for it. But there are ways around it if you don’t.
Hang clothes up immediately after washing them
I have one or two items that technically require ironing but I just hang them up when they’re wet on a hanger and leave them to dry in the sun. All the wrinkles just fall out of these items and I don’t have to touch the iron. It’s such a pro move. I’ll make sure the collar is sitting all nice and flat and give it a bit of a tug into shape and it’s good to go. Your clothes won’t have that snappy flatness that a good iron will give but it will make your clothing at least look respectable and not like you fished it out of the washing basket 5 seconds before you left the house.
Lower your standards
If you iron something, the second you sit down, the whole thing is ruined. For example, I would never waste my time ironing linen. I’d certainly hang it up on a hanger in the sun after washing it but ironing linen is such a waste of time because it’s goes all crinkly in twenty seconds anyway. I’m all for looking tidy but you don’t need to walk out of your house looking like you have a lady in waiting. You’re not Princess Kate, and the Queen and won’t judge you. Let it go.
Wash your kid’s uniforms less
One of my mate’s mums in high school was always complaining about ironing the pleats back into our winter girl’s school uniform skirts after she washed them each week and I was like ‘Dude. Just do what my mum does!’. Which was the tried and true method of getting my skirt dry cleaned at the beginning of each term and then I’d just wear bike shorts underneath it and sponge clean/air it once a week for the whole semester. I swear those things were covered in Teflon. Indestructible. I wore mine for 6 years and only had it cleaned 4 times a year. My shirts needed washing more often but I’d just do the hang it up trick and it worked a treat. You may think I’m disgusting but I’ll wear anything as long as it’s not visibly dirty or stinky. Boom.
Do not iron for men. Ever.
I cannot stress this enough. We women have to literally paint our faces, colour our bodies with fake tan, rip out all out body hair, squish our already totally perfect bodies into shape wear, mince around in stupid high heels and pretend like it all happened accidentally. The one thing men have to do that’s a total pain in the ass to deal with appearance wise (apart from shaving which they skilfully eradicated with hipster beards), is their professional wardrobe and they need to deal with that themselves. If you truly don’t mind ironing your partner’s/father’s/son’s clothes – go for it. If you do mind (and I suspect that’s the majority) tell them to do it themselves. You can even YouTube it so you don’t have to teach them how. It’s not that hard.
So tell me… now that you no longer have to iron every day, what are you up to this weekend? I’m having lunch with my podcast co-host Kelly today and it will be around the fourth time we’ve met each other in person. How funny is that? Then I’m off to Problogger drinks tonight, the proper Problogger conference tomorrow, a theatre day with my mate on Saturday night (JESUS CHRIST! SUPERSTAR!) and then on Sunday night I’M SEEING SEINFELD!!! For real. I’m so excited. I’ve been waiting for him to come to Australia for twenty years. This is a very big moment as we missed him by two days when we were in Vegas last year.
It’s going to be a good weekend.