5 Totally Untapped Places To Meet Men

5 Totally Untapped Places To Meet Men
Carly Jacobs

I don’t tend to write about relationships much. Every few years I’ll bang out some words about the anatomy of not-shit relationships but most of the time I keep quiet on the subject. Mainly because I think being in a very happy, long term relationship (as I am) is in large part due to luck. Obviously Mr Smaggle and I are very good to each other but neither of us are better, nicer or more attractive than people who haven’t been in long term, happy relationships. The fact that we found each other at all is a very random miracle, so I feel really weird giving relationship advice as if I had some say in the line up of the stars that made Mr Smaggle flirt with me via MSN messenger all those years ago. Or the arbitrary mix of pheromones that make us like each other.

Having said that all that, the advice I can give to single people who wish to be less single is to be proactive. Mr Smaggle certainly made his interest known back in the day but I day claim full credit for asking him out and it was the best damn thing I ever did. You’re not going to find a guy in your lounge room because almost all the men in the world aren’t in your lounge room. It’s maths. The question is, where are all these men?

meet men

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I was single and looking for a partner at this stage of my life. I’d be pretty screwed. I work for myself so there’s no men in my workplace. Both my podcast co-hosts are women. My agent is a woman and most of her employees are women. Most of my friends are women. Sidling up to random guys in bars has never been my style so what would I do?

If you’re a single lass (or lad) looking for man love, here are some places I’ve recently found some very eligible bachelors. Disclaimer: I don’t for one second believe that people need to be in relationships to be happy. This is just advice for people who want to be in relationships with men.

One that note here are some top notch places to meet men…

1. Sheep shows 

I recently went to the Bendigo Sheep and Wool Show and I attended a lunch called Women of Wool. It was full of sheep farmer women. Sheep farmer women who all seemed to have very single sheep farmer sons. I had a line of women dragging me over to the window that over looked the sheering shed floor, pointing out their sons and trying to set me up. The whole experience was wasted on me but it got me thinking that a city gal/country boy ball might me an amazing idea. If you live in Victoria and fancy a boozy fun weekend in Bendigo some time next year with the potential of hooking up with a cute, single farm boy let me know. I’d be totally up for organising that.

meet men

2. Toastmasters 

I stayed with Chrissy and Jim from Hair Romance and Mr and Mrs Romance last week and Chrissy has recently signed up for Toastmasters. She happened to have a meeting while I was there so I went along as a guest and it was really fun. The room was also full of lovely, single, young men. About 70% of the people in the room were men and they were delightful. Interesting, thoughtful and ambitious. It’s also a great environment to get to know people in general as the whole point of Toastmasters is to have conversations and learn to tell stories so even if you don’t meet the man of your dreams, it’s still a great place to hang out.

3. Farmer’s markets 

Every time I go to a farmer’s market there’s always a lovely guy selling his fresh eggs or chamois cloths. Warning: Sometimes what looks like interest is actually them trying to sell something to you so be wary of that. Best case scenario is if you have a mate who sells stuff at a market (don’t we all?) go along and give them a hand. That way you can make friends with the nearby stall holders, offer to get them a coffee and give them ample time to fall in love with you.

meet men

4. Car washes 

Just hear me out. Last time I went to a car wash, every single staff member was male and every single customer was also male. I sat there for 45 minutes while they washed my car and every 4 minutes a dude walked in the door. I can’t guarantee they’re single but still, 45 minutes is a long time to strike up a conversation with the potential love of your life and the turn over of men in the was very high. Like a car wash smorgasbord.

5. Jails 

Again, hear me out. I’m not talking about the inmates (although, each to their own), I’m talking about the staff. I used to teach in a jail and most of the staff were men. I’m not saying you need to somehow get employed by a jail but keep a look out in areas that require security. Banks, art galleries, theatres, show grounds. Lots of men are employed in places like that. A friend of mine used to work at an art gallery and her best mate was always hanging around the door waiting for her to finish work. A door that was guarded by a really sweet guy and they used to chat until finally they started dating. It’s all about the exposure, you never know when something is going to click.

meet men

This all sounds totally random but I promise you, I know what I’m talking about. I’m some what of a match maker. With my special combination of suggestive whispers, table setting manipulation, well placed complimentary conversations and once, literally pushing two people’s heads together I have one marriage, one long term relationship and a few fun flings I’ve ‘helped’ along the way. When I was in Indonesia my mate Steven said I was ‘Ma chombla’ which means match maker. I have no idea if that’s how you spell it but that’s definitely how you say it. I like to say it really loudly in capitol letters. ‘MA CHOMBLA!’. So it has an air of importance to it.

And if you’re interested in meeting women… just follow me around. About 90% of the people I see/talk to are women and they’re all awesome.

Where did you meet your partner? Or where is the weirdest place you’ve met someone you dated?

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14 Comments

  1. foodstoriestasmania 4 weeks ago

    My husband and I met at ballroom dancing lessons. Both there for totally random reasons. I waltzed into his arms and we have been together ever since. Twenty four years, 2 kids, 4 cats, one dog, 3 states and 9 houses.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 4 weeks ago

      Oh my goodness that story is gorgeous! Love it!

  2. Katy Hunt 4 weeks ago

    Ah, but u still need to live in a populated area to attend these things. Except the ram sale. But all our farmers are too young or very married ?

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 4 weeks ago

      There are rural toastmasters! How far away are you from your nearest big town? Surely there’s a factory or something nearby? 🙂

  3. Kurrawinya 4 weeks ago

    Pity the cattle shows up here aren’t like the sheep shows!! Maaan those boys get snaffled quick, I was well and truly out of the game by the time I was 19 lol…. totally unfair by the time I started dating all the country boys were married. .. :,D
    Think I’m gunna have to go with the jail one.. that is to say I shall have to start hanging around the local police lock-up that’s the closest I can get to the list out here in the sticks lol but awesome advice I love it!

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 4 weeks ago

      Yes! Bags yourself a cute country cop! That’s the spirit! 🙂

  4. Lizzie Fourman 4 weeks ago

    I wish we had sheep sales where I live but we don’t. I want to move to a place that has them, though. That would be fun to see. I’d never put a romantic relationship with anyone as a priority and it’s worrying my family. I’m not sure why because I’m just not interested in dating at the moment.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 4 weeks ago

      I don’t understand that either. I’m in a long term relationship but to me that seems like a weird fluke. I always thought I’d be be mostly single in my life. I don’t get the weird pressure to be in a partnership.

  5. Missy D 4 weeks ago

    My partner and I met through friends, then we were friends for a couple of years before we got together. Nearly to 8 years as a couple now.

    Most people I’ve dated I’ve met through friends. My immediate group of friends are all married or in long-term defacto relationships except a couple of people. I know when we all married/defacto’d up they had to start looking outside us because we weren’t hanging out with that many singles anymore. One of my girlfriends started joining up to Meet Up groups – not necessarily to meet a guy, but just meet more single people. She’s made a good group of friends and have gone a few dates that way and she’s found other people who share her interests.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 4 weeks ago

      Oh that sounds cool! I’m in the same boat – all my friends are married to my friends and Mr Smaggle and I met through that group friends over 15 years ago. There is an element of ‘missing the boat’ when that happens. I have a few single friends now and they really have to concentrate to meet people, it just doesn’t seem to happen by accident anymore.

  6. Michaela 4 weeks ago

    I met my partner on a dating site, actually. Both of us were just on to meet new friends in our respective areas, but we got to chatting, met up a few times just to hang out, and it the rest is history. We’ve been together for a few years now.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 4 weeks ago

      I have a few mates who have met people online and it’s great! My brother met his wife online and she’s the greatest person ever. 🙂

  7. nessbow 3 weeks ago

    I honestly think that dating sites get a really bad rap. I’m not going to lie, you have to trawl through a lot of crap and be pretty open minded to get anywhere, but they are definitely worth a shot.

    I’m not a very outgoing person. I don’t really go to bars or parties to meet people and I’m socially awkward. I have met a lot of my friends through online hobbies, blogging and book clubs so I thought “Why not try to also meet a partner online?” If you aren’t confident going out to hook up, then dating sites can be a lot of fun and a great place to meet new people. I’ve been out with some people who wound up not being right for me, some people who became friends and one person who became my long-term partner. If you’re clever and willing to give it a go, I think online dating can be great.

    Additionally, if you’re not into traditional bars, there are loads of gaming bars and clubs that have popped up in recent years. I love Pinball Paradise and Bartronica in Melbourne, and they are a great place to let your hair down and have a play and meet new people. Beta Bar is also awesome, as it’s a pop up bar that rents out board games and you can hang out with some new people and try your hand at some games. It’s a brilliant way to break the ice and there’s less pressure than a traditional bar or party.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 3 weeks ago

      I agree! I know heaps of people who have met great partners online. One of my high school mates married someone she met on ICQ. How random is that? Gaming bars are a GREAT idea – I was single that’s where I’d go. Back me a cute sweet gamer boi.

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