I don’t tend to write about relationships much. Every few years I’ll bang out some words about the anatomy of not-shit relationships but most of the time I keep quiet on the subject. Mainly because I think being in a very happy, long term relationship (as I am) is in large part due to luck. Obviously Mr Smaggle and I are very good to each other but neither of us are better, nicer or more attractive than people who haven’t been in long term, happy relationships. The fact that we found each other at all is a very random miracle, so I feel really weird giving relationship advice as if I had some say in the line up of the stars that made Mr Smaggle flirt with me via MSN messenger all those years ago. Or the arbitrary mix of pheromones that make us like each other.
Having said that all that, the advice I can give to single people who wish to be less single is to be proactive. Mr Smaggle certainly made his interest known back in the day but I day claim full credit for asking him out and it was the best damn thing I ever did. You’re not going to find a guy in your lounge room because almost all the men in the world aren’t in your lounge room. It’s maths. The question is, where are all these men?
Sometimes I think about what I would do if I was single and looking for a partner at this stage of my life. I’d be pretty screwed. I work for myself so there’s no men in my workplace. Both my podcast co-hosts are women. My agent is a woman and most of her employees are women. Most of my friends are women. Sidling up to random guys in bars has never been my style so what would I do?
If you’re a single lass (or lad) looking for man love, here are some places I’ve recently found some very eligible bachelors. Disclaimer: I don’t for one second believe that people need to be in relationships to be happy. This is just advice for people who want to be in relationships with men.
One that note here are some top notch places to meet men…
1. Sheep shows
I recently went to the Bendigo Sheep and Wool Show and I attended a lunch called Women of Wool. It was full of sheep farmer women. Sheep farmer women who all seemed to have very single sheep farmer sons. I had a line of women dragging me over to the window that over looked the sheering shed floor, pointing out their sons and trying to set me up. The whole experience was wasted on me but it got me thinking that a city gal/country boy ball might me an amazing idea. If you live in Victoria and fancy a boozy fun weekend in Bendigo some time next year with the potential of hooking up with a cute, single farm boy let me know. I’d be totally up for organising that.
I stayed with Chrissy and Jim from Hair Romance and Mr and Mrs Romance last week and Chrissy has recently signed up for Toastmasters. She happened to have a meeting while I was there so I went along as a guest and it was really fun. The room was also full of lovely, single, young men. About 70% of the people in the room were men and they were delightful. Interesting, thoughtful and ambitious. It’s also a great environment to get to know people in general as the whole point of Toastmasters is to have conversations and learn to tell stories so even if you don’t meet the man of your dreams, it’s still a great place to hang out.
3. Farmer’s markets
Every time I go to a farmer’s market there’s always a lovely guy selling his fresh eggs or chamois cloths. Warning: Sometimes what looks like interest is actually them trying to sell something to you so be wary of that. Best case scenario is if you have a mate who sells stuff at a market (don’t we all?) go along and give them a hand. That way you can make friends with the nearby stall holders, offer to get them a coffee and give them ample time to fall in love with you.
4. Car washes
Just hear me out. Last time I went to a car wash, every single staff member was male and every single customer was also male. I sat there for 45 minutes while they washed my car and every 4 minutes a dude walked in the door. I can’t guarantee they’re single but still, 45 minutes is a long time to strike up a conversation with the potential love of your life and the turn over of men in the was very high. Like a car wash smorgasbord.
Again, hear me out. I’m not talking about the inmates (although, each to their own), I’m talking about the staff. I used to teach in a jail and most of the staff were men. I’m not saying you need to somehow get employed by a jail but keep a look out in areas that require security. Banks, art galleries, theatres, show grounds. Lots of men are employed in places like that. A friend of mine used to work at an art gallery and her best mate was always hanging around the door waiting for her to finish work. A door that was guarded by a really sweet guy and they used to chat until finally they started dating. It’s all about the exposure, you never know when something is going to click.
This all sounds totally random but I promise you, I know what I’m talking about. I’m some what of a match maker. With my special combination of suggestive whispers, table setting manipulation, well placed complimentary conversations and once, literally pushing two people’s heads together I have one marriage, one long term relationship and a few fun flings I’ve ‘helped’ along the way. When I was in Indonesia my mate Steven said I was ‘Ma chombla’ which means match maker. I have no idea if that’s how you spell it but that’s definitely how you say it. I like to say it really loudly in capitol letters. ‘MA CHOMBLA!’. So it has an air of importance to it.
And if you’re interested in meeting women… just follow me around. About 90% of the people I see/talk to are women and they’re all awesome.