I was sitting on the couch and Mr Smaggle came sauntering out of the bedroom in fitted grey pants with a tucked in white shirt. A tan belt sit snugly on his hips and he spun around in front of me so I could see him at all angles.
‘Do I look okay?’ He asked.
Honestly? I think he’s fucking gorgeous and I always have. He’s tall and slender with strawberry blonde hair and a spectacular ginger beard. He stands up very straight and has beautiful posture for a tall man. He’s also got the peachiest little bum that I just can’t stop squishing. When he had nose surgery last year for his breathing issues the very blunt surgeon asked if he could ‘take care’ of the bump in his Roman nose. Mr Smaggle politely declined, thank goodness. His nose is spectacular and I’ll not have anyone messing around with it. My heart still skips a beat when see him walking towards me in the street, even when he’s wearing his daggy running shorts.
As Mr Smaggle modelled this outfit, I felt a little stirring in my loins. I don’t know why but I’ve always loved a pert bum in firm pants with a belt and tucked in shirt. Maybe it’s a thing I picked up from being a Catholic school kid and all my first crushes wore uniform grey pants and tucked in shirts. I told him he looked super hot and added ‘tucked in shirts and belts’ to my list of weird things that turn me on.
Mr Smaggle and I have been together for almost twelve years now and I honestly don’t check out other guys that often. My connection to people is never physical. People don’t really become beautiful or attractive to me until I know them properly. This is why I’ve never really had a physical ‘type’, and I don’t really notice ‘hot’ guys in the street. I need at least a hello and a smile before I find someone attractive. Is anyone else like that?
It does’t happen often but occasionally I’ll see a man do something and I get a little tingle in my nether regions. Here are a few culprits that get me nearly every time…
Weird things I find attractive in men.
1. Floppy fringes
Long hair has never been my bag but if I happen to stumble upon someone who still has a Leonardo DiCaprio fringe from the 90s, I will stare at them until they flick it out of their eyes and then I will swoon for a million years.
2. When they reverse cars and they put their arm on the back of the passenger seat as they look over their shoulder
I can’t explain it but there’s just something about it. One of those weird glitch in the Matrix things I can’t explain. Does anyone find it hot when girls do this? I’d love to know.
3. Stong noses
Most of the celebrities I have a lady boner for have spectacular noses. Benedict Cumberbatch, Adrien Brody. You can’t really smoulder unless your nose game is solid. It’s a whole thing.
4. When they’re kind to animals
I met a big burly biker guy on the weekend who had the teeniest, tiniest little Italian greyhound dog. He was enormous and she was tiny and they LOVED each other. It was sexy as all hell. He had a big, grey beard and was wearing a leather jacket and his big arms were circled around this little dog and she would not stop looking at him. It was just gorgeous. I also love it when men are good with kids. It’s so sexy when a guy jumps up from the adults table at a party and plays a game of hide and seek with the kids.
5. Funky socks
I don’t know why but I love a man in funky socks. Especially if they’re wearing a suit and then they sit down and their pants rise up a little and you cop a view of their silly socks. It’s like you’re getting let in on a secret.