How to Wear Fluoro

How to Wear Fluoro
Carly Jacobs

It was only a matter of time before I had to write something about fluoro. Although I must pre-warn everyone that this post will not be favourable towards fluoro. I experienced the fad the first time around in the 80’s when it was shown in the form of push down socks and bike shorts. I believe that if someone embraced a trend 15 years ago that it’s a) unlikely that they will want to participate again and b) it’s waaaaay to soon for the trend to be returning. But alas all the little Supre supporters of the city are skipping around wearing their fluoro pink House of Holland rip-offs that say stupid things like ‘Frankie Say Relax’ or ‘Eat Beef’. I have never been an avid follower of trends but that’s only because I am totally bi-polar when it comes to my style and I also have massive commitment issues. Needless to say it’s hard enough for me get dressed in the morning when I don’t even know what I like and that’s without taking trends into consideration.

But this trend is one that has been baffling a few my readers so I thought we could start off slowly with a few funky pics from Face Hunter. Here are some ladies working fluoro in a respectable manner. These ensembles may not be to your liking but I for one am highly impressed because anyone I have seen wearing fluoro in real life looks like a clown on speed. These ladies look achingly cool and effortlessly hip… bitches.

Pairing hot pink with grey tights and booties. And it’s velour. She is wearing HOT PINK VELOUR!!! And she looks like sexy Strawberry Shortcake. I applaud you young lady!

This lass is adorable. And she perfectly shows off the use of fluoro in the form of accessories. She may have been a little OTT with the amount of neon she is sporting but we’ll forgive her because she lives in London.

Utter fluoro perfection. A neon green strip of a shoulder bag strap to accent a dark blue dress.

 Photos by Facehunter

Are you shaking your head in utter disbelief yet? Who would have thought that this basic cream mini and grey cardi would look so bangin with neon pink tights?

Fluoro is not the enemy my darlings! It’s the people who screw it up by blindly wearing trends they see in magazines without understanding the principles of the style. Keep reading and I will led you into neon salvation. I am sure you’re all wondering why this strange fad is back in our little lives. Blame Emanuel Ungaro. These pics are fresh from the runway and they perfectly illustrate the dangers of fluoro. The biggest problem anyone will have with neon brights is the fact they look rubbish against almost all skin tones.

BAD FLUORO – Obviously this girl is a model and is professionally lit from all angles and airbrushed to perfection before she struts her stuff down the catwalk and she still looks anemic in that yellow dress. Imagine how hard it would be to pull off this colour on the street? My recommendation is to use this colour sparingly to avoid making yourself look like you’ve had your liver removed…

GOOD FLUORO– Ah the beautiful Miss Ward… This thick shard of acid yellow is sharp and concise. The neon doesn’t over power the dress or affect the look of her gorgeous skin. However if you are hell bent on wearing a full article in acid yellow there is only one solution to the skin problem…

 Photos by

You have to be black. It’s like the fluoro law, or something. Why on earth would a pasty mofo like me even TRY to wear fluoro yellow when it looks so spectacular on our chocolate toned ladies? It’s doing the dress a mis-service. Rude.

 So with all that eye-candy in mind here are few tips on how to go fluoro… if you must.

* If you’re Caucasian avoid full, solid articles of colour –Stick to splashes of fluoro to avoid looking sick. Try a belt or these shoes for a bit of a fun twist. If you’re not Caucasian… go forth and prosper my child.

* Don’t go OTT– A few pieces of neon is enough, trust me. No one needs to be blinded so just give your outfit a little kick not a thorough thrashing.

* Pair neon brights with nudes, creams and beiges– Take advice from the Facehunter ladies. It’s best to tone down the rest of your wardrobe to make a statement with the fluoro.

* Think carefully– Why are you wanting to wear fluoro? Because it’s ‘so now’? Because you saw it in a magazine? Or because Supre and Sportsgirl finally knocked it off and now you can afford it? ALL of these reasons are really stupid I recommend that you drop the fluoro and back away slowly. ONLY and I mean ONLY wear fluoro if you really love it. It’s a difficult palette to wear and will only be pulled off if you have the correct intentions.

Like these ladies from Helsinki. They clearly both adore fluoro and they both say that dressing this way makes them happy. What a fabulous reason to wear what you wear. I am more than happy for anyone to throw my advice back in my face and prove me wrong by DRESSING WITH INTENT. Both of these ladies have gone OTT with neon, both are wearing large articles of solid fluoro, both are caucasian and neither have paired their neons with beige. And they both look fabulous. I am not going to post a picture of bad fluoro street wear because that’s just mean. But just look around you the next time you’re in a shopping centre. Bad fluoro is when there are five girls aged fourteen wearing lame knock-offs of designer clothing and none of them have any understanding or intention behind their outfit other than the fact that all their friends are wearing them. Bad fluoro. BAD FLUORO!!!

 Photos by Hel-looks

If you absolutely have to have something fluoro because you need to be on trend try this funky tee. It’s subtle but still edgy. And guess what it’s called? Sunscreen! Remember Zinc? Those sticks of neon sunscreen that you’d smear right across your nose? Sometimes I reflect on times past and think what spectacular morons we are…

Emshop Online

And one more point about fluoro before I move on… these dresses are spectacular are they not? But they are completely stripping the wearer of the focus. Why wear a dress that’s going to get more attention than you?


Disclaimer – I hate fluoro. I think it’s horrible. But I have serious sartorial respect for those that can rock it. And to be honest a little jealously too…

Dedicated to Oomalay…

Love Lady Smaggle xxx


  1. Lady Smaggle 14 years ago

    Thanks love glad you liked it. I really didn’t want to sound like a bitch which is really hard when you don’t like something.

  2. selina 14 years ago

    hahaha love this post! you’ve covered every angle, not just your opinion (which i quite agree with!)

  3. Lady Smaggle 14 years ago

    Sally – Well it’s lovely to meet you Sally! Poppy Smaggle talks about you all the time!
    I LOVE comments so comment away my love…

  4. Sally 14 years ago

    Hi! I was recommended to your site by Ron and Shirley! Ron has taught me violin for about 5 years now, they are both such great people.
    Ron actually wrote down your site for me and I’m soo glad he did!
    Your posts are funny as and this article on FLUORO really caught my attention.
    I am an AVID Supre hater (hater is a little strong…’disliker’) and all the flouro junk getting around is embarassing!
    So THANKYOU for putting flouro in it’s place =]
    I will definately be keeping a close eye on your site!
    Expect maaaany more comments!
    Love Sally xox

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