How To Make Friends With Other Bloggers Without Feeling Like A Stalker

How To Make Friends With Other Bloggers Without Feeling Like A Stalker
Carly Jacobs
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‘m hosting the Weekend Re-wind this weekend which is a rad little link party that’s been doing the rounds of the Aussie blogosphere created by Bron, Sonia, another Sonia and Kelly (you should check out their blogs they’re all super rad!). I thought I’d do a lil’ blog related post for the occasion. I was chatting to some non-blogging friends the other day and they were saying how weird it is that I have so many friends that I’ve made online. I was VERY internet phobic as a teenager and back in the day, I was thorougly convinced that everyone on the internet was trying to kill me. I eventually got over this fear of mine and now almost all of my closest friends, I met online… and none of them tried to kill me. It’s bonkers. It took me about four years to be totally comfortable with meeting other bloggers but getting over that was one of the best things I ever did. Here’s how to make friends with other bloggers without feeling like a stalker…

Working

1. Connect online first

If you absolutely adore another blogger – tell them! Comment on their blog, tweet them and comment on their instagram posts. About 90% of my blogging friendships started with a re-tweet. Also if another blogger is regularly contacting you, chat back to them, especially if they live in your area. If you’re a blogger, blogging friends are gold so make sure you get some!

2. Send an email 

I made most of my blogging friends by emailing them and asking them to have a coffee, if I saw that they were in town or heading to an event I was also going to. Just do it. The worst that could happen is that they ignore you or they say no and neither of those responses are really that bad. Best case scenario is that you’ll have coffee (or lots and lots of wine) with them and become awesome mates. I can tell you from experience that the latter has happened far more times for me than the former.

3. Arrange them to meet them at events you know you’re both going to

If you guys have been e-flirting for a while, bite the bullet and arrange to meet at an event. It can be less intimating than a solo date and there’ll be lots of other people around to chat to as well. Don’t over think it! Just tweet them and let them know that you’re hanging around the dessert table and they should totally come find you and share a cupcake with you. Boom. Blogging besties.

girl standing on the street in phone in hand sends an SMS

4. Don’t be weird 

I’m guilty of being SUPER weird around bloggers I’ve met in person for the first time. For example Kerri Sackville and I had been tweeting each other for years and we finally saw each other at a conference. Neither of us was sure we were looking at the right person so we mutually freaked out and rode in an elevator together, totally ignoring each other and then got out of the elevator and tweeted each other about what knobs we just were. If you’re not sure if you’re standing next to your favourite blogger, just ask! No one is going to punch you out for making a mistake.

5. Fail Quickly 

Not everyone is the same in person as they are on their blog and not everyone is going to want to be friends in real life. I’ve persued a few online friendships only to discover that they weren’t really working offline. No biggie. Just move on. There doesn’t have to be any hard feelings about it and you don’t have to ignore each other at conferences but if you met up and it was a bit weird, don’t push it. Find other blogging buddies that you mesh a bit better with.

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Are you a blogger? Do you have many blogging friends?

 

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P.S If you’re a Melbourne blogging and you’re free on 21st March get in quick to book your tickets for Little Blog Big Workshop I’m running with Hair Romance and Sesame Ellis. Tickets are selling like crazy! Be quick!

Book Now
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54 Comments

  1. Lyndal 7 years ago

    I would say I’m kind of a blogger and have made many online buddies but not migrated many (actually if any) offline. I’m such an introvert who is THE WORST at small talk so new people face to face? Totally awkward! Oops, I’m old enough to should have that down pat or at least a bit better by now! Anyway I’m hoping to attend your Sydney workshop and get some practice in 😉

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Oh you should! The Sydney workshop is looking like it will be packed! So excited!

  2. peta @ Trainee Mama 7 years ago

    Blogger/social media-er and moved to the Sunshine Coast with no friends. Connected with Katy Potaty via Twitter and when she suggested a coffee I freaked out! stepped out of my comfort zone and met one Thursday night and spoke for 2+ hours. I now can’t imagined life without her. We are totes besties and I’ve got social media to thank for that

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Oh she’s awesome – we’ve Instagram chatted a few times. It’s so lovely when bloggers hang out with other bloggers. They understand you like no one else can!

  3. I love this post Carly!! I get nervous when I meet other bloggers…weird I know. I usually shut down or say something naff and random. I’ve only been blogging 5 months but I’m looking forward to meeting some special peeps in real life.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Oh it will change everything for you! It’s the actual best.

  4. I Spy Plum Pie 7 years ago

    I’m glad we met face to face Smags! And we should probably do more wine again soon xx

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Me too! I can’t wait to see you on Saturday! I was so stoked when I saw your name pop on the ticket sales list! 🙂

  5. Maxabella 7 years ago

    I STILL get nervous ‘meeting’ you and it’s been YEARS. This is the perfect Weekend Rewind post, Carly. Thanks so much for being part of it this week. x

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      I always get nervous too! I pretended I didn’t see you at an airport once because I was feeling shy! Must stop doing that! 🙂

  6. I’m a blogger, and have a few ‘bloggy friends’, but the distance I live from a major centre means I rarely attend anything with other bloggers, so I haven’t met many in real life. I tell myself that I am going to get to a blogging event or two this year… we will see!

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      It’s so worth it if you can make it. The expense can be a bit prohibitive but it’s totally worth it!

  7. I freaking love meeting the gorgeous people behind the blogs I love to read. I am always as nervous as all hell when I do but I love it when they are every bit as awesome as I imagined thy would be. You are one of them chick, hanging outside the kidspot party 3 years ago and meeting you was flipping awesome. Thanks for hosting with us lovely and have a fabulous weekend xx

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Oh my god totally! I remember that – it was so much fun! Mum bloggers are the best – they go wild when they have a night away from their kids! 🙂

  8. Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid 7 years ago

    I love this post and how it’s full of Smagesque (yes, that’s a thing,) wisdom. I’ve tried and tested all your tips with some very pleasing results. I still get startstruck when I meet famous friends online offline though – my mouth feels like it is full of wet concrete and my brain becomes mashed banana. I’m working on the premise that practice makes perfect. See you in Sydney?!

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Yes yes yes! We’re working on that workshop already! It will be so much fun!

  9. I’m all ready for Problogger. So excited to meet all the great people I talk to nearly daily. I am sure the closer we get to the event my nerves will creep in but I can’t wait! Great tips Smaggle!

  10. Laney@thelaneyfiles 7 years ago

    I would love to meet another blogger! I can definitely see how it can get weird though. Worst of all, I become a total dickhead around people I am meeting for the first time. I’m clumsy, my sentences don’t work, I spit when I talk!! It’s all embarrassing and awkward but so worth it when you can make a connection with someone.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      I do the same thing! I’m also not amazing at recognising people in real life so I often don’t know who I’m talking to for a while! Awkward.

  11. homebase5 7 years ago

    Hello! I’m still getting used to this online friendship thing, and haven’t made it to any bloggy events, but who knows? But I’ve loved the chance to start to connect to people on line, and its great when there is someone in the same city too (who knows? – I might bump into you, or at least, come to your next Melbourne blogging class!)

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Oh that would be great! We’ll probably have another one a bit later in the year!

  12. msmidge 7 years ago

    I have some amazing friendships with online bloggers and crafters. I’ve only met a few in real life and thankfully they have turned out to be great! In fact, next week, I’m doing a quilting class with a bloggy friend from Canberra and then we are going out to dinner wednesday night with another melbourne bloggy friend!

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Oh awesome! I actually had some readers a few years ago make friends via my comments section and then they started a jewellery business together! It was so cool.

  13. MummaMcD 7 years ago

    I went to my first blogging event this week and met up with some online blogging friends – our first IRL meet up. And it was so awkward! Like a terrible first date! We were all nervous and shy, didn’t know what to say or where to look… perhaps more wine is required next time!!

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Oh they’re all like that to begin with! It gets much easier I promise!

  14. Fleur - Our Urban Box 7 years ago

    Oh god. I think I will be so super nervous to meet some of my blogging friends! I will definitely be one of those nervous people who just stand there, not sure what to say, drinking their drink and then end of drinking too much and end up a bit drunk! Yeah not cool Fleur, not cool haha x

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      That’s totally me! Nothing like a bit of dutch courage to get you going!

  15. You know what’s weird – I’ve never met a bloggy friend IRL who’s surprised me by *not* being the person they are online. I wonder if this is because I met most people on Twitter first and I wonder if it’s because Twitter is a place where it’s very hard to be anything but ‘yourself’? (ie Twitter doesn’t give you the opportunity to overly craft a persona … you can only really be yourself)

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Oh most of mine are fantastic but there’s been a few that haven’t been great… it’s fine though! No one has ever been horrible it’s just been hard work you know?

  16. Kathryn 7 years ago

    I think most of my friends now are people I’ve met online, mostly through blogging. Even when I’ve met up with someone and we haven’t had that bff clicking, it’s been a good. I’ve only had one bad experience and that was my sister’s online friend, not mine. It was so bad – that person has now become the benchmark for horrific experiences in our lives.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Oh no that sounds horrible! Almost all of my mates I made online now. I actually never thought that would happen!

  17. Anna Buckley 7 years ago

    Completely useless at all things electronic…what is this thing called Twitter? Looking forward to meeting you on Saturday.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Have you booked yet? I don’t belive I have an Anna on the list! We’ve got a sale happening until midday tomorrow – if you can get a friend to sign up it’s 2 tickets for $319! Get in quick.

  18. Tahlia Meredith 7 years ago

    Great post! Bloggers are such a rad, supportive group but I still get that blind-date-nerves feeling when I approach them (needlessly, every time!)

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      I’m getting better as time goes on but I still get nervous before events. Problogger is pretty intense! So many bloggers in the room at the same time! It’s very overwhelming.

  19. Harlow 7 years ago

    I met my best friend through blogging 3 years ago and this year she is going to be one of my bridesmaids 😀 😀
    I’ve also met up with other bloggers while I’ve been overseas and made some great friends. It’s never been weird for a second and I am so grateful for blogging and the internet in general for allowing me to meet people I otherwise never would have!

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Oh that’s so lovely! I feel the same way. I’m off to Bali in a week exlcusively with boss ladies I’ve met online!

  20. potentialpsych 7 years ago

    I have met so many online friends through the past six months of blogging and I can see lovely friendships blooming. This week I get to meet a whole new group at ProBlogger in Melbourne on Tuesday then I’ll meet more with you on Saturday. Yay! (Although I’m a little nervous….) x

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Oh you’re coming? That’s awesome! Have you booked yet? I’m having a Besties Sale (2 tix fo3 $319 or $519 with headshots) so if you haven’t booked get a friend to come to get a rad discount! 🙂

  21. Sarah @ Tomfo 7 years ago

    After moving away from the city, I’m so grateful to to internet and meeting lovely people online, one of the great things about blogging, a whole new circle of friends. I must say it is great to actually meet them in real life too, anyone near Yamba?

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      You should post that in a blogging group like Aussie Bloggers. I’m sure there would be other bloggers keen to catch up with you!

  22. Christine 7 years ago

    I get so nervous meeting other bloggers IRL. I always feel like I say the wrong thing and come off like a total idiot.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      I get terrible foot in mouth! You just need to breathe and chill! x

  23. Alyson 7 years ago

    I’ve met a few of my blogging idols (including yourself) and felt so bashful – a weird look at 40 something! And to a person, you were all adorbs! I still felt weird, but love you more than ever! Creepy much?

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      Oh that’s so lovely of you! It’s totally worth connecting with other bloggers though isn’t it? I’ve never regretted it once!

  24. Cosette 7 years ago

    I’ve made a number of general Internet friends, but, funny enough, no blog friends. I have become friendly with a few expat bloggers, but they’re all far, far away. If I ever visit the wonderful countries the live in, I’ll be sure to invite for a coffee.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 7 years ago

      I always do shout outs whever I travel! I love meeting OS bloggers!

  25. Lisa@RandomActsOfZen 7 years ago

    I get soooo terrified when I meet other bloggers, in case they realize I’m just a pretend writer, but every single time they’ve been gorgeous!
    And I have to confess Carly, I’ve been a reader here for ages, just never felt I could comment. I’m such a goober 🙂

  26. Lauren @ The Thud 7 years ago

    It has truly been the best and most surprising part about starting a blog – all the gorgeous online friends I’ve made. I met a few in real life last week and even though I felt like a totally awkward wanker (which means I end up talking non-stop to try and fill the air with stupid words to hide the fact I’m nervous) I loved it. I can’t wait for Problogger! I’m going to be so nervous and self conscious but I’m just going to pretend that I’m ok (and drink).

  27. rebeccassunday 7 years ago

    I have met up with a few bloggers and some I get along really well with, others had fizzled out offline (it sounds like I am talking dating!) but I totally love having this new way of making friends and have met some wonderful people. On that note I totally saw you in Woolies the other day and had a little stare!!! Next time I will say ello!

  28. champagnecole 7 years ago

    I organised a few blogger meets after I had only been blogging a little while. That conquered any fear I had super quickly. I often go to restaurant events (food blogger) now though and would like to randomly go up and introduce myself to more people but can’t be sure they aren’t general public… bit of a problem. Blogger events are so much safer 🙂
    I would have loved to come to yours but sadly am a weekend worker- hoping to change that soon though.

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