Note: This is a guest post by my regular contributer Coco, Mr Smaggle is still very much in the picture… sorry to those people who I freaked out by publishing this under my name. It’s now been fixed.
I’m in the early stages of a new dalliance and I’m experiencing the equal parts euphoria and crippling anxiety that goes along with it.
There are some obvious terrifying things about dating someone new for example pre-date nausea, wardrobe stress and re-learning how to cover up hickies for work. There are some obvious amazing things too like sex, lovely pre-date butterflies and the slight smugness of going to work with a hicckie.
These are some of the obvious best-and-worst things about a new relationship.
Obvious things are boring though, so I decided to put together a list of the other Best and Worst things about a new (I-Can’t-Call-It-A-Relationship-Yet) Shagging-Regularly-Dating-Thing …
Best
Your house is really clean
Smaggle came over to my house the other day and exclaimed ‘Oh my God, I love Coco’s Sex Bedroom!’ Contrary to how that sounds, Smaggle was referring to the fact that my bedroom, which is usually a disaster-zone of ‘resting’ clothes, yesterday’s shoes and ‘maybe’ handbags is – at the moment – always immaculate. A new crush makes you pay attention to what your home (and your boudoir) says about you. Usually, that means you clean more often.
Everything smells really good all the time
You’re suddenly remembering to use the organic Orange and Geranium body lotion after you shave your legs (which is every day), he’s busting out his expensive date-only aftershave, there are clean sheets and scented candles everywhere… new relationships are a cacophony of awesome smells.
Everything old is new again
My friends and I have all known each other for so long that we’ve all heard each other’s best funny, awkward, embarrassing and interesting stories – and our mediocre ones too – a million times. When you’re dating someone new, suddenly you’re fresh, you’re original, you’re a new version of you (thanks Felicity!). It’s really nice to remember that you can be fascinating and mysterious to someone who hasn’t known you for 15 years.
Texts
Yeah, we live in a disconnected age which is too dependent on technology as a means of communication. But when you get a text in the middle of the day which reads ‘How’s your Tuesday, spunk?’ or ‘[insert brand-new personal joke here]’ or even just ‘What’re you wearing?’ the warm glow can get you through the most boring Efficiency and Productivity meeting with a smile on your face.
Telling your friends
Excessively, in step-by-step, oversharingly intimate detail. And hearing them squeal with delight. It’s so fun, right?!
Worst
You never get to wear comfortable shoes
Or trackies. Or no makeup. Or your I-haven’t-done-washing-for-a-week undies.
Trying to find your sex rhythym
Contrary to what Scandal would have us believe, sex is rarely mindblowing the first time. It takes time to get to know one another’s likes and dislikes and to find your ‘rhythm’ with a new person. This is usually a temporary thing, but it can mean some awkward moments (and a higher than usual number of sex-related bruises).
Matching schedules can be a nightmare
You want to see this person ALL THE TIME, yeah? But we’re all crazy busy, making time for family, friends, the gym and (oh, yeah) work. Fitting someone new into that schedule – especially allowing for the fact that they have their own stuff – can be a challenge.
You don’t get any sleep
You end up staying up way too late on weeknights, burning the midnight/4am oil on weekends and you’re EXHAUSTED ALL THE TIME. Because sex.
Sometime the doubt creeps in
He brings you lunch, says nice things, is funny, articulate and fascinating… We know that no one’s perfect and it’s a sad fact, but it’s hard not to spend some time wondering ‘So, why are you single?’ or ‘When am I going to find out that you have a mean streak? A prison record? A wife?’ Sometimes too much good can be intimidating.
What about you, fancy faces? What are your favourite things about a new lurve? Or an old love? What messes with your mojo?
Header image Photo by Gavin Whitner
7 Comments
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I know you said I didn’t have to comment but a) hello, it loaded straight up (I did have to reattempt on the ‘what to call him’ post several times though) and b) my favourite thing about old love is finding ways to rediscover that “new love” feeling. I tell all my friends to not rush things and just enjoy that beautiful, getting to know each other, courting period.
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Author
Thanks for trying with the comments! It’s been a pain recently. I think not rushing is a great idea too, it gets familiar very quickly. Mr Smaggle and I always make each other laugh and we’re silly every day. I think that keeps the newness feeling there.
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I am sitting here trying to think of the best about being in a long term relationship that aren’t lazy! (Trackies, no make up, less tidying)
Maybe knowing they will order your fave take out on busy nights, will understand the history behind a massive overreaction or that you only drink specific brands of vodka (and they are ok with that and don’t even question it)-
I simply like not being in the game anymore. Sometimes I look at people in new relationships and think about how fun it would be to have that but then I love how connected Mr Smaggle and I are. He’s really my best friend and we just see eye to eye on everything. My soul is very relaxed because of him and I wouldn’t change that.
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Sigh. A new relationship sounds good. I would like one.
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Oh I don’t know, Mr Smaggle has been away for a week and I’ve been LOVING having the bed all to myself. Silver linings. 🙂
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[…] but last time Coco guest posted here I received a lot of emails from horrified people who thought I’d callously broken up with Mr Smaggle, immediately replaced him and then blogged about my ne… Coco and I have similar writing styles (and I frequently publish guest posts under my own name […]
[…] but last time Coco guest posted here I received a lot of emails from horrified people who thought I’d callously broken up with Mr Smaggle, immediately replaced him and then blogged about my ne… Coco and I have similar writing styles (and I frequently publish guest posts under my own name […]
