5 Things People Assume I Like… But I Don’t

5 Things People Assume I Like… But I Don’t
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o you watch the show Adam Ruins Everything? If you don’t, you simply must. It’s very excellent. He basically goes around and ruins things like airport security and the schooling system by pointing out how broken and flawed they are. One of my favourite episodes is Adam Ruins The Internet by pointing out how the internet is not actually as bad as hipsters and old people would have you think. We’re more educated and technologically advanced than we’ve ever been and you can literally start your own business with no start up costs. The internet rocks.

Writer Working on Computer at Wooden Desk Top View of Man Typing on Laptop and Holding Coffee Mug at Warm Natural Wood Table with Electronic Gadgets and Stationery Tools for Every Day Life

One thing I’ve loved about the internet is getting to know things about my friends and family I didn’t previously know. For instance my mum and my aunty like special needs cats and dogs, so if I find a chihuahua with an overbite, I tag them both in that post immediately. I also have a group of friends and we tag each other in videos of baby animals because oh my god adorable. We’re quite obsessed with baby fenecs at the moment. I also get at least a dozen notifications a day of posts containing Benedict Cumberbatch or crochet. Very excellent.

The weird thing though is that with this new found knowledge, people tend to put you in categories. Categories you have no business being in. With my love of Benedict Cumberbatch and crochet, surely I’d be obsessed with the BBC Pride and Prejudice right? Wrong. I don’t hate it, I just don’t rate it. I can see how people would THINK I’d be into it but sadly, when they tag me in a meme with Colin Firth as Mr Darcy, I just can’t fake the lady boner they were aiming for. It’s as disappointing to me as it to them but it is what it is.

Just to sort out any future confusion, here’s a list of things I don’t care about and probably won’t ever care about. If you have (or do) tag me in a post about these things, don’t stress your pretty head about it. I’m not angry (because that would be fucking weird) and I fully understand why you thought I’d be into that thing but sadly I’m not. Do keep tagging me though – I find the consistency with which people try to bond with me over these things super amusing. I’m also fully aware of WHY people think I’m into this stuff. I’m completely confused as to why my pleasure centre doesn’t embrace these things. It’s a god damn mystery.

the princess bride

The Princess Bride

I can’t even count how many times someone has said “My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!” to me. The first few times it happen I just kind of stared blankly at them and then after a while I’d just tell them flat out I hadn’t seen The Princess Bride. A very dear friend of mine got sick of “Inconceivable!” falling on deaf ears so she made me watch TPB when I was about 19 years old. Yeah. Didn’t love it. I’m so sorry to the die hard fans of TPB but I just don’t think it translates well when you’re an adult and you watch it for the first time. I think it’s really weird that I’m not in to it because it’s like the hipster kid movie of the 80s but sadly it bypassed me. I can quote it like a mofo though. I didn’t even need to Google the references in this post. They’re entirely meaningless to me, but I still know them by heart.

Bands/Musical Festivals

Just when I think I’ve weaned everyone off inviting me to these things, randomly people will tag me and be all ‘Hey Carly you in for Golden Plains this year?’ and like ‘No! And never!’.

Modern music baffles me. I couldn’t name even one band in Triple Js hottest 100 this year. I was watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and she made a joke about Vampire Weekend being a weekend for vampires and the joke totally went over my head. It’s a band apparently and not an actual weekend for vampires. Super disappointing right?

Unless it’s Cher, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Whitney Huston or musical theatre, I won’t know what band you’re talking about. Oh actually I know who Ed Sheeran is, so that’s something right?

scandal

Scandal

Everyone: ‘OH MY GOD HOW HAVE YOU NOT WATCHED SCANDAL???’

Technically, I have watched scandal. I watched a few episodes and I kind of didn’t care about it. Sorry. Not a Scandal gal. Also the ‘fashion’ everyone keeps talking about? It’s a sea of tailored suits. Lovely, gorgeous, wonderful tailored suits, but it’s hardly Sex and The City. Every time I’ve tried to give it another go I’m like ‘Is this really THE Scandal everyone is taking about?’. It’s just not my bag.

Heart attack inducing desserts

My metabolism is slower than a sloth crawling backwards so I need to choose the food I eat very carefully. I made a decision ten years ago that ice cream and wine are my favourite treats. Pastries, cakes, slices, biscuits – meh. I mean if they’re the only thing going, I might be tempted but as a rule my main recreational calories are spent on wine and ice cream. Yet weirdly I keep getting tagged in these nutella pancake/cronut/cupcake/frankenshake posts. Cake posts baffle me the most. I’m so not into cake at all. I quite like making them, and I’ll have a little nibble of a home baked cake to make sure it’s not the worst thing ever but if cake never crossed my path again, I wouldn’t be sad. And yes, I’m disappointed in myself that I’m not into cake. I love everything about cake – the smell when it bakes, the process of making it, decorating it, sharing it with people – it’s the eating of it that I’m not so into. Most people are REALLY into cake so it’s an easy assumption to make. Pretty awkward though when people ask me if I remember how awesome their wedding cake was. I’ll be like ‘Um… I didn’t eat it.’ . *crickets*

Fictional crime

I’m a true crime fanatic – 90% of the podcasts I listen to are hosted by detectives or forensic scientists. So naturally every time there’s a new crime movie or drama out, people start a tagging frenzy starring yours truly. I don’t hate fictional crime but it’s very different to true crime. For instance Silence of The Lambs is infinitely cooler because the Buffalo Bill character is based on two real life serial killers Ted Bundy and Ed Gein. The scene where he gets the girl to help him lift the chair into the truck because his arm is broken is a classic Bundy move. Doesn’t the true crime element just add a whole other layer to the story? To be fair, I do love fictional crime but I’m not obsessed with it the way I am with true crime. Someone will tag me in a post about a serial killer movie and when I find out it’s not based on a true story, I’m inexplicably disappointed.

What things should you be into that just don’t seem to mesh with you? Have you been tagged in a meme and thought WTF?

 

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P.P.S I’ve also got a beginner bootcamp coming up for anyone who wants to learn to crochet. If you fancy yourself as one of those totally calm and serene yarn crafters you should float on over and join my crochet mail list.

16 Comments

  1. Rebecca 2 months ago

    I used to bake and sell cupcakes at markets for a little bit… but actually not that into eating cake either (I was all about the process of baking too). Completely confused the fuck out of people, especially when you get referred to as “the cupcake lady”…

    • Carly Jacobs 2 months ago

      I love baking – totally the same. I also love the look of cupcakes. They just look like happiness.

  2. Rebecca Gumbley 2 months ago

    You should totally listen to the ‘my favourite murder’ podcast, if you don’t already. Two awesome ladies talking about real murders they’re fascinated by!

  3. Kelly Isaacs 2 months ago

    How funny. Your cake thing just describes me. I am 100% the same but weirdly didn’t realise it until reading your post. I love making cakes – all types of cakes but then they can sit in the cupboard for a week and go untouched by me. The only exception is triple choc brownies, then they are flat out lasting the afternoon.

    • Carly Jacobs 2 months ago

      The weird thing is, I also adore bakeries. I live in Melbourne and my street is full of old fashioned Italian bakeries with piles of sweets in the windows and I just can’t do it. Bloody love looking at them though. I can do a bite of a brownie… I don’t chocolate biscuits like Tim Tams but again I’d just rather have ice cream or wine. I can’t waste calories on things I feel luke warm about.

  4. Caitlin | Twist of Cait 2 months ago

    Im with you on the cake thing, the weird thing im not in to is tea and coffee… I just don’t understand the fascination with them. To me they taste like sadness and regret. I realise this makes me super weird but im ok with that hehe

    • Carly Jacobs 2 months ago

      Oh that’s a great one and is weird! I love tea AND coffee. Couldn’t cope without either.

  5. Reannon 2 months ago

    When I was a teenager people assumed I was a vegetarian, a lesbian & from Byron Bay purely based on the way I dressed! Did not even eat vegetables back then & always loved seeing people’s faces when I told them I had a boyfriend 😉

    • Carly Jacobs 2 months ago

      I have a lesbian friend and I always think she’s a vegetarian. What is with that?

  6. Susan 2 months ago

    Everyone at work assumes I’m a vegetarian….actually most people do. I have blue hair and a lip ring so i must be vegetarian right??? P.s. Adam ruins everything is the best!!

    • Carly Jacobs 2 months ago

      Oh totally! Slightly hippy looking = vegetarian. I’ve had a few people think I’m a lesbian – maybe because I’m tall? Who knows?

  7. Bec 2 months ago

    I get tagged in Bunnings sausage memes! Haha I mean, I like them, but really?!

    • Carly Jacobs 2 months ago

      Ha! That’s so funny! I do love a bunnings sausage though…

  8. Hannah 2 months ago

    Audiobooks. I can’t get into them. I love to read and I blog about reading so everyone assumes I’m a big audiobook girl, but I just don’t like them.

  9. Melissa 2 months ago

    I agree about the Princess Bride. My son and I watched it for the first time a few months ago and we were shaking our heads. Very strange. But I love true crime shows and hoarders. My husband says that it makes me feel better about my life. Haha!!

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