Let’s be honest here. No one likes a wanker and there’s a mighty fine line between being confident and being a bit of a tosser. Australians try really hard not to be tall poppies but it might be to our own detriment. Several studies have shown that it’s actually confidence and not talent that gets people ahead in the workplace, so we can’t really afford to stay off the confidence train. This applies even more to women, as we are much more likely than men to underestimate our ability and performance whereas men tend overestimate both. Here are a few tips for how to boost your confidence without looking like a dick.
Do things you rock at
If you need a bit of a confidence boost, do something you’re good at. Shoot some hoops, play your guitar or write some killer poetry. If you’re feeling a bit like a loser in life, now is not the time to learn a new skill. Trying to learn to skateboard when you’re already feeling bad about yourself will only make you feel worse, so set yourself up for a few easy wins to give yourself a little pep up.
Show em’ the old razzle dazzle
‘Why do the Yankees always win? Because no one can stop staring at the damn pin stripes.’
If you dress for success, you’re half way there already. Dressing the part not only boosts your own confidence but it also adds an excellent element of distraction for the people you’re trying to impress. Take for example performers like K.I.S.S, Lady Gaga and Madonna. All of them are incredibly talented, all of them are excellent at what they do but none of them are extraordinary singers. They’re good singers, but you can’t deny that watching them is a lot more fun than simply listening to them. They know what they are, so they’ve come out with all guns firing and they’ve razzle dazzled everyone into thinking they’re the best at something they’re actually pretty average at. If you put on your killer business suit or don’t-mess-with-me-heels you’ll look like you mean business… because you do.
If you don’t like something about yourself, fix it
If you never speak up in meetings at work because you don’t understand what everyone is talking about, learn what everyone is talking about. If you don’t like that you’re not a brilliant speller, concentrate on becoming a better speller. There is nothing that will boost your confidence more than a little self-improvement. If there’s something you find that’s more difficult to fix, fail quickly and move on to something else. Dwelling on your perceived faults is not going to help you boost your confidence. Come back to those problems later when you’re feeling stronger.
Get over yourself
Most confidence issues arise because we assume that other people think about us more often than they actually do. Consider how often you think about people who aren’t in your immediate family or you don’t see every day at work. Like high school friends or distant relatives. Unless they text you, call you or pop up on Facebook, I’ll bet good money that you can go a few days without thinking about most of the people in your life. Now reverse that thought and apply it to how often people are thinking about you – almost never. Isn’t that such a freeing thought? If you’re having one of those moments where you feel like everyone thinks you’re an idiot just say this to yourself – ‘No one gives a shit.’ Everyone has far bigger stuff to worry about than what you said at the school gate this morning or that your jeans are a little bit tighter than they used to be.
Never make shit up. The difference between someone who is confident and someone who is talking a whole lot of B.S is that the first person has done their research and the second person just likes the sound of their own voice.
Do you struggle with confidence? What do you need to work on to overcome it?