5 Things I’ve Tried To Wear And Failed Miserably At It

5 Things I’ve Tried To Wear And Failed Miserably At It
Carly Jacobs

The style journey of a woman is a weird little rollercoaster. At any given time your style can be influenced in a dozen confusing and conflicting ways and almost everything around you will have an effect on your style. Where you work, who you date, who you spend your time with, where you live, what TV shows you’re watching. I admire women who can really stick a distinctive style because I’m sure as hell not one of them.

In my late teens, I wore lace and pink. All the time. Alannah Hill was style muse and I dressed like a stick of fairy floss for at least three years. In my early 20s, I went I bit Carrie Bradshaw. Vintage clothing, sometimes questionable pairings of patterns and I wore high heels every day. That was only achievable because I grew up in a driving city where you couldn’t walk anywhere. I’m now in a minimalist phase and I can’t quite pin it to a particular muse but it’s a streamlined, simple yet slightly French boudior kind of vibe. Like Catherine Baba, minus the sparkle and accessories.

I have a teeny tiny boho streak in me but it leans much more towards 1920s film star style. I’m more likely to wear lace than fringe for example and I love a bold lip. I try to mix it up every now and then but sometimes I just need to concede defeat and deal with the fact that I’m just not meant to wear these things…

1. Jeans with rips in them 

It’s just not my thing. I feel untidy and unkempt. I don’t think other people look untidy or unkempt but I just hear grandmas clucking disapprovingly in my head every time I wear them. I have worn them in the past but it’s unlikely I will wear them in the future.

2. Floaty boho style tops 

The tiny part of me that is boho inclined, will wander into Tigerlily and try on their floaty tops with bells and dangles on them and it just doesn’t work for me. If I’m going to wear a print, it needs to be large scale and bold. Tiny floral prints just make me feel like a couch. Or curtains.

3. Shapeless sack coats 

I’m a sucker for a shapeless sack dress in winter but shapeless sack coats make me look the size of a truck. I’m already build like a footballer, I don’t need to be walking around wearing an almost literal box as a coat. I’m a Melbourne lass and in my trendy suburb women don’t tend to accentuate their waists very much so all the winter coats were the same chunky style this year. I stuck to my wool trench coat. I need my waist, so I’m keeping it.

4. Ankle boots 

I want to like ankle boots so much but I have these short little stocky legs and they just don’t mesh well on me. I’m tall, but all my height is in my torso  and ankle boots just seem to make this glaringly obvious. I’ve been wanting to get some tan ankle boots to wear with jeans for ages but every time I try them on I look like a stumpy little garden gnome. I’ve given up on ankle boots now. They just aren’t for me.

5. Statement necklaces 

I used to be right into them but I have a simple silver coin necklace on a long chain (a gift from my late Poppy) and I wear that almost exclusively. I have a lot of hair and big rosy cheeks, so statement necklaces seem like over kill when there’s already so much going on in that area. I don’t want to scare people.


Dress from Cos

Tights from Big W 

Boots from Frye

Leather jacket from Vinnies


This outfit was worn for a busy bee day of admin. So much stuff to get done this week. This weekend I’m off to Brand Confetti. So looking forward to it and I get catch up with my girls Chrissy, Sonia and Emma. I’ll let you know how it goes!

What things have you tried to wear that just hasn’t worked?

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  1. Lizzie Fourman 5 years ago

    I wish I had your sense of style! I definitely need to turn down my wardrobe since it’s still quite large. I have gotten rid of 3/4 of my clothes in the last nine months but I still have too much. I love the dress you’re wearing along with the pair of ankle boots that you have on. I need to find a pair of those somewhere.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 5 years ago

      These are more like slouchy boots than ankle boots – they’re so great though. Super comfortable and I’ve had them for about ten years and they’re still going strong.

  2. KezUnprepared 5 years ago

    I hear you on the ankle boots. I have taken the risk a couple of times with a knee length stretchy body con dress, but it’s not something I’m totally comfortable with! I can’t really do calf length boots or knee high. It sucks. My feet are too small and my calves are too big!!

    I love that I can break a lot of my usual rules now that I’m pregnant. Stuff I felt too self conscious in (hate attention being drawn to my belly when not pregnant) is now an option for me – showing off a baby bump and not a food baby makes me feel better somehow haha.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 5 years ago

      I love that pregnancy loop hole! I’m the same with my legs – massive dancer calves. That will teach me to spend the better half of my teen years on my toes!

  3. Kathryn OHalloran 5 years ago

    I can’t do anything boho. It makes me feel like a bad Stevie Nicks impersonator. I love ankle boots but biker boots make me feel like I’m wearing buckets on my feet!

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 5 years ago

      That’s how I feel about fringe. I can do a kimono or something like that but you second you add, I’m out of there.

  4. Kelly 5 years ago

    I wish I could do a pair of drop crutch pants but I just can’t do it. I put them on and every single time I am disappointed – I see so many other people wearing them and they look amazing but on me they just look laughable. I was the same with distressed boyfriend jeans for a while but I so loved the look of them I nearly wept with joy when I finally found a pair after trying on about 50 + pairs (sadly, I am not exaggerating)!!

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 5 years ago

      Me too! Drop crutch pants aren’t my friend. They look super and awesome on other people and I put them and it just looks like my pants don’t fit.

  5. Kat 5 years ago

    I tried on this open shoulder top the other day. I have never felt more dressed like a hooker than that 15 seconds. Straight out of Pretty Woman. I could have passed for Julia Robert’s best friend in the movie. I couldn’t tell you if she ever wore a top like this one in the movie, but that was the image that immediately popped into my head.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 5 years ago

      You know what I think Kit was a bit of a shoulder show-er! I can do one shoulder but two makes shoulders look twice as wide.

  6. Michaela 5 years ago

    I don’t want to be that person, but I feel the need to point out that g*psy is an ethnic slur and you might want to reconsider using another term in your post.

  7. The one thing I’d never wear are pajama bottoms out in public. There are so many women who do wear them when they’re out and it looks awful! I have a couple of pairs for lounging around the house, but no way would I wear them outside. I like the cowgirl look but I don’t often get it together.

    • Author
      Carly Jacobs 5 years ago

      I look terrible in baggy pants so that’s a no go for me too!

  8. Missy D 5 years ago

    I’m with you on the shapeless coats (well anything shapeless really) and ankle boots – my calves are too big for ankle boots.

    But man, so many things I can’t wear – short: in the legs and the torso, curves on the hips and boobs. I pretty much can’t wear any flower pattern – it just looks wrong and too busy on me. Also no high necks (even though I wish I could!) and pencil skirts (damn these child bearing hips).

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