How to Jazz the Shit Out of Your Phone

How to Jazz the Shit Out of Your Phone
Carly Jacobs

Alright it’s confession time. As annoying and potentially harmful as she is, I actually don’t mind Paris Hilton. Ever since her tanned little behind starting strutting around the social pages of my favourite trash mags I have been a little obsessed with her bling things. You know bling things? Those little devices that she carries around. They could be phones, ipods or Blackberries but you’re never sure which because you’re blinded by the sparkle covering them. After recently killing my beautiful classy gold phone that I loved with all my heart and soul I decided I couldn’t bear to replace her with something similar. My past phone was indeed a Duchess. My new phone shall be a Queen… A Drag Queen.

Here is the before shot. A normal innocent pale pink generic Nokia. $100 outright. I’m guessing you all know what’s about to happen. Are the tiny piles of enticing sparkle giving it away?

Oh shit yes. That’s one hell of a bling phone. I LOVE IT!!!

Here are a few tips if you wish to give Paris a run for her money…

* Use iron-on gems. I don’t mean to actually iron them on. That would be stupid. Glue them as normal. I just found that the iron-on ones were of better quality because they are designed to be put on garments are therefore more hard wearing.

* Make the commitment. Either you want to sparkle or you don’t. Don’t be messing around with lame glue because you might change your mind. Sparkling your phone is like getting a tattoo. It’s a life time choice. For the life of the phone at least. I used cement glue. It’s almost like super glue but it doesn’t bond your skin. Which is good if you are little bit special like I am.

* Keep your phone in a case. I always did before but it’s even more important to take care of your sparkle. Nothing looks worse than a Drag Queen cut down in her prime. Keep your lady looking tops – replace missing sparkles and keep her in tip top shape.

* Plan out your pattern first and then glue. That way you can figure out how many will fit in your pattern and what will look good on your phone.

* I may have glued a few gems over the camera lens. But I realised this immediately and removed them. So don’t do that. I may also have put gems on the hinge of the phone so that when I opened it they all bunched up in a chunk of glue and gems. So don’t do that either.

Happy sparkling ladies!

 Love Lady Smaggle

xxx

13 Comments

  1. Lady Smaggle 14 years ago

    Cupcake – She already has! One of her dogs has a diamond collar… sigh!

    Macfunk – Oh thank you Naomi!

  2. Lady Smaggle 14 years ago

    Na – Look I know it was controversial but I was sick of having boring phones. This is what happens when deprives themself of sparkle.

  3. Cupcake 14 years ago

    AWESOME PHONE!!! Hehe.. i wish it was worth “blingin” my phone, but its a slidey one so i do not see the point!

    And as for paris hilton blinging everything.. dont you worry she may go too far and bling one of her many dogs? LOL..

    x o x

  4. Mrs Munk 14 years ago

    you are hilarious.
    thats all i have to say 🙂

  5. princessnaea 14 years ago

    o holy moly. what a phone. I don’t think I’m quite prepared for a phone that… fabulous. but my god you do it well!

  6. Lady Smaggle 14 years ago

    Azz – Well it seems that Mr Smaggle is more in love with Norton than me. He won’t leave the poor thing alone. You can subscribe to my site if you like! Smaggle right to your inbox!

    Ivy – Screams class? Ha ha! What a fabulous contradiction. Um… hosting. I use WordPress if that’s what you are talking about. I think it’s hosted in America with a bunch of Mr Smaggle’s sites. If I give him lots of kisses he takes care of all that boring stuff.

    Bronwyn – Thanks! More scarf goodness coming your way soon!

  7. Azz 14 years ago

    BEST POST EVER!

    I’m adding you to my RSS feed.

    Don’t do anything in front of my dog that might scare him. >:)

  8. Ivy 14 years ago

    Hahaha I love it! I have shit loads of stickers on mine, but yours just screams class. I must switch to iron on jewels!!

  9. Ivy 14 years ago

    oh! and random question: what hosting thingy do you use? i cant find any info on ur site.. o.O

  10. bronwyn 14 years ago

    Wow, that’s the blingiest, sparkliest phone I ever did see:) Love the scarf post – thanks.

  11. juliAM 14 years ago

    i blinged out my cell phone with some fuschia stick on gems that i had left over from a new years eve project and although my phone is a total technical menace, at least it’s pretty to look at. ha

  12. Lady Smaggle 14 years ago

    Juliam – I thought people would pay me out big time about the phone but everyone seems to love it. But most importantly I love it!

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