Confession: I’m a recovering hoarder. When I was a kid, I had what my mother called ‘The Avalanche’. An enormous four-door cupboard that was full of crap. Clothes I never wore, old school books, toys, craft supplies and all manner of garbage I’d collected from the street like bottle caps and random playing cards.
For some reason, a deep-seated craving for order came over me in my later teen years and I’ve been a champion of minimalism ever since. This means that people often ask me to help them pack when they move house. This is a good choice because I’m excellent at organising other people’s lives. It’s also a bad choice because I’m really strict and I won’t let them take dumb shit to their new house. I thought I’d compile these items into a list of things you really need to throw away, just in case you need a little bit of direction in this area. If you have any of these items in your house, it’s time to throw them away.
1. Irredeemable crusty plastic containers
2. Fondue sets
3. Board games with bits missing
4. University assignments you can’t remember writing
5. Broken furniture
6. Novelty sunglasses that were worn for 20 seconds on New Years Eve in 2000
7. More than one cocktail shaker
8. The empty box from a laptop you haven’t owned in 10 years
9. Invitations to parties that are over
10. Hundreds of stained mugs that no one ever uses because they’re gross
11. CDs and DVDs that haven’t been touched in a decade
14. Boxes of taped-off-the-radio cassette tapes
15. Single socks
16. Unnecessary multiples of anything
17. Expensive high heels that are 100% unwearable
18. Unused exercise equipment
19. Hardcopies of bills that have been paid online
20. Very expensive, very un-used and very expired beauty products
21. A life-sized cardboard cut out of Brad Pitt’s brother
One of the biggest struggles most people face with clutter is the fear of throwing away something they might need and wasting money. Here are 2 things to consider.
1. The money is already wasted. Unless it’s an antique, holding on to an item you never use does not increase its value.
2. If you haven’t used it in more than a year, you probably won’t.
I give you permission to throw all that crap away.